Lies the nuns toLd me

[sniffa]

from grades k-4 i attended a smaLL cathoLic schooL in my city. (i aLso went to a cathoLic high schooL - many great stories but this schooL had reguLar cathoLic teachers, and not nun teachers)

anyhow, aside from the crappy education the first schooL gave, they instiLLed Lots of fantasticaL notions in our young brains. every once in a whiLe i have a fLashback to such an instruction and i Laugh out Loud.

here's just some of them off the top of my head:

- the highest paying jobs you couLd have were pLumber and carpenter... the reason: joseph and jesus were carpenters, and mary was a pLumber. yes, getting water from the weLL was considered pLumbing.

- dominic savio was a great and hoLy boy (he died young)who was cannonized because he used to kneeL in the street and pray whenever the eucharist was being carried by a priest to a dying cathoLic.

- girLs just aren't good at math but that's ok; you won't need it.

- snakes used to have Legs and waLked Like humans, but to punish snakes for Lucifer's tempting of adam & eve, god pLaced the weight of the worLd's sins on the snakes' backs so they wouLd never waLk again.

- everyone has a guardian angeL. these angeLs keep a daiLy journaL on your Life, and they fiLL it up with coLored ink: bLack for when you're eviL; red for when you're not eviL, but not particuLarLy good; and the most beautifuL and sparkLy goLd for when you were good that day.

- penmenship is important.

[crim son]

1. I had Sister Cecily, and she told the sixth-form class

that "men's sexuality is more... concentrated... than women's" without blushing. I've always loved her for that.

[bettyellen]

2. the nuns at my school cheated my report card to boost my penmanship grade so i

could get first honors. that was pretty cool. my handwriting still sucks, and i haven't gotten first honors since.

my fave: "If you commit suicide, of course you go to hell to live with satan"

[sniffa]

14. i've embraced bad handwriting

i make doctors bLush.

i remember the suicide thing, but i'm not sure when i Learned that. :shrug:

ps: no foot domme message for me? x(

pss: i'm gonna reLate a funny/embarassing cathoLic skooL story beLow.

[bettyellen]

42. you're going to embrace my wedgie in a most violent way if you don't fucking behave

god knows penmanship has nothing to do with it. don't make me go all the way to boston with my wooden ruler, there's a smiley for that already. (is there a smiley that will squash you like a bug- i could use one of those)

[hippywife]

3. Except for that last one

none of those ring any bells with this Catholic school survivor. :hi:

[greatauntoftriplets]

4. Me either....

And I attended Catholic grade and high schools. It was only in the later years of high school that the nuns went into modified habit, too. For years, my family referred to them as covered-up teachers.

:shrug:

[hippywife]

11. Looking back on it now

when I was in elementary school there was no concept of gender when applied to them. They were in full habit then, too. They were just "nuns." Almost as if they were some seperate species of being. LOL

There were some mean ones but there were some very lovely and loving ones, too.

[greatauntoftriplets]

12. Exactly....

I am anything but religious now (recovering Catholic) but my Catholic education was better than what I would have experienced in the Chicago public schools...especially back then.

The public school was a block away from the Catholic school...the students there would chant to us "catlickers, catlickers". We would chant back "doglickers, doglickers". Grade school rivalry, etc.

That was sorta confusing since we owned a dog and I have always been a dog magnet.

[GenDem]

5. I teach at a Catholic school

:scared: Just a part-time Art teacher, though.

We have a couple of nuns, who I am proud to call my friends. They are vehemently anti-war -- and aren't scary at all. They have these really cool dove-shaped yard signs that say "I Leave Peace Prints".

Sure glad that some things have changed.

[greatauntoftriplets]

6. LOL, my sister is principal of a Catholic grade school....

No nuns at the school.

[Roon]

7. My Mother went to a catholic school

and all she will say about it is, "The Nuns were mean!"

[sniffa]

19. many were

i remember "sister iron finger" and "the hen" quite vividLy. :scared:

[Roon]

32. OMG!

:scared:

[AlCzervik]

8. Sniffa did you go to Dom Savio high school?

[sniffa]

16. nope

my high schooL was the hockey-power schooL... when you were here.

[mentalsolstice]

9. I'm Catholic (but not observing at this moment)

However, I was in public school all the way, except for law school (and it was Baptist, but was pretty good at seperating law from religion, we had Sarah Weddington on campus, Roe v. Wade).

Fortunately, I avoided all the nonsense, most of the priests and nuns I've known are pretty cool. In fact, most of the nuns I've known as an adult, are good friends with SR. Helen Prejean ("Dead Man Walking")! And I got to meet her! Too cool!

[sniffa]

17. as a few peopLe seem to have picked up on here

i don't think they were bad peopLe; some were torturous fucks, but most were just peopLe. good peopLe.

however, the ridicuLous shit they tried to teach was comicaL.

i may have to start a separate thread for high schooL - great interactions with others (mostLy cLassmates) as the onLy (openLy) atheist in schooL.

[mentalsolstice]

22. Yeah!

And start a thread for cool nuns! There's plenty of them out there, but they're overlooked!

[sniffa]

24. everyone Loved sister peg

i didn't have much of an opinion on her. she was nice to me and aLL, and yeah, she was pretty damn cooL for a somewhat-aged nun.

[mentalsolstice]

29. Yeah my nuns are "un-habited"

And are opinionated feminists...but they're such good souls in the work they do with the sick and others who are in tough situations.

[CBHagman]

36. There are a lot of cool nuns!

They're nurses, peace activists, educators, social service and social justice workers (halfway houses, etc.).

I remember Nan Hoffman, a Buffalo, New York, area folksinger and peace activist, used to perform the song "Nuns in Disguise" in concert. The guy who wrote it (I forget his name)obviously had issues with his Catholic education, but Hoffman wrote an additional verse that covered the progressive activism of nuns. The audiences ate it all up.

[idgiehkt]

10. "Mary was a plumber"?

:rofl:

[sniffa]

18. duh!

and mary magdaLene was service industry empLoyee.

[graywarrior]

13. Don't wear patten leather shoes coz boys can see your underpants in the reflection

Plus, we had one in the second grade who made us confess our sins to her before we confessed to the priest.

You DO know there was an underground tunnel that went between the rectory (I love that word) and the nunnery.

[sniffa]

15. for some reason, your post reminded me

of an "incident" in 1st grade.

one day i wasn't feeLing so weLL, and whiLe sitting at my desk i got sick; and my navy bLue sLacks, baby bLue coLLared shirt, and navy bLue cLip-on tie were no Longer suitabLe for wearing. instead of sending me home or something LogicaL, sister mary stevens dragged me out of cLass and took me to the rectory. she put me in a cLoset and toLd me to undress. whiLe i was undressing, she went next door to the convent and grabbed her pink bath robe.

yes, she brought me back to cLass wearing her pink bath robe. since i was 5, the robe was enormous and dragged everywhere. aLso, there was a Large, cursive monagram of SMS on it.

yep, that didn't fuck me up one bit.

[graywarrior]

41. That's movie material, right fucking there!

That reminds me of our weekly torture presentations when you got up in front of the class and talked about some subject you knew something about...in my case...nothing.

However, Michael K, class scientist, decided to do a talk on the icecaps melting. This was in 61 or 62. He proceeded to horrify our class by telling us that the icecaps would melt causing us all to drown. Sister beat the living crap out of him with her ropes til he cried and his parents had to come in a repent for their devil son.

[Mad_Dem_X]

43. That's beyond messed up!

Wow.

[RevolutionaryActs]

20. You know.. it's rather trippy to read of one your posts while drunk,

Just thought I'd let you know. :7 :rofl:

[sniffa]

21. awesome

don't read it when you get the spins though. :puke:

how you doing? :loveya:

[RevolutionaryActs]

25. The L's gave me the spins....

:rofl::rofl: :P



I am fantastic! I'm drunk remember. :P


How are you?? :loveya: !

[Generic Brad]

33. Do you capitalize the "L"'s just for the 'LL of it?

Meanwhile, awaiting an answer that may never come, I sit and ponder.

[sniffa]

37. no

for a very specific reason.

[Generic Brad]

40. I'll buy that

And I respectfully will not press you further on the subject.

[bicentennial_baby]

23. lush....

:eyes:

[RevolutionaryActs]

26. Hey! Both yesterday and today sucked at work.

I'll do wha' I want! :P


:rofl:

[bicentennial_baby]

30. Ok, Miss "I'm 21 now!"...

:rofl:

:loveya:

[RevolutionaryActs]

31. Be nice, or else I won't get you a bloody mary.

:P :rofl:

[bicentennial_baby]

35. d00d, i'm walking to the fridge/freezer as i type...

well, almost... :rofl:

[RevolutionaryActs]

38. whoa, you have a hovering laptop?

:o

[InvisibleTouch]

27. The biggest lie they told me...

...or at least the one that pissed me off enough that I still remember it to this day was, "Animals don't have souls."

Now, I can't say for sure if any species has a soul, but if one does, they all do.

[sniffa]

28. siLLy. animaLs don't have soLes

and neither do canadians. that's common knowLedge.

[InvisibleTouch]

34. Haven't you ever seen dogs wearing booties? :) n/t

[GoneOffShore]

39. Yes, all lies EXCEPT

The very last one.

They were right about the penmanship.