How do you speak to people when you commute?

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

I ask because I had a nasty exchange with some people on a commuter train this evening, and I was curious how folks talk to other people on mass transport.

I was sitting on an aisle seat of a three seater row and there was a women in the window seat. The seat in the middle was open. On the two seater row next me was a girl sleeping.

A man came in and woke her up and said "could you move so I can sit down." No Please, no thank you. He then spoke to someone behind where we were sitting. I hear an "Excuse me," but I don't look up cause I'm reading the paper and I didn't think he was speaking to me. Then he taps me and says "Can you slide in so my wife can sit?" I didn't really respond, but just slide in...I would have been friendlier if the man said it with a please, but he didn't. Or, if he just asked if his wife could sit, I would have said, "I'll slide in" so they could have sat across from each other. But he didn't, so I was kinda fuming for the rest of the ride...

Later, we get to the women in the windows stop, and she says "Excuse me, can I please get out." So I get up, and I assumed the man's wife heard the women ask for us to move so she could exit, but she looked a little surprised when both the women and I were standing there waiting for her to get up. The women from the window exits and the man's wife and I both sit back down, with me on in the inside again.

Then I get to my stop, and the man's wife sees me putting on my book bag and starts to get up, I'm saying "thank you" to her where her husband says, quite loud, "Don't let that guy out he's rude." I rolled my eyes and just walked to the exit. If I would have said anything, I would have blow a fuse probably.

So, I'm curious DU, how do you speak to people when you commute? Do you say, Please and thank you? Or do you just expect people to do things for you? Share your stories of rudeness too!

[Esra Star]

1. Those people have been around forever and will be around

forever. It does not mean that anybody else has to compromise their innate humanity.
Continue to live the example that you want to be for the world.
:applause:

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

2. great advice Esra Star!

:hi:

[Esra Star]

6. Of course there are times when people just found out that their

cat died. They feel pretty shit for a while.
BTW I note you live in Mannahatta is that anywhere near Manhattan?

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

9. awwww, thats sad....but this guy didn't seem to be in mourning

he and his wife were chatting inanely the whole way. :eyes:

haha, Mannahatta is Manhattan...its the Indian word for it, used by Walt Whitman: http://www.bartleby.com/142/161.html

Its one of my favorite poems

[idgiehkt]

5. Amen to that

"Continue to live the example that you want to be for the world."

:applause:

I think it's better just to let assholes hang their hineys out for all the world to see...don't try to change them, but don't let them change you either.

[Nicole]

3. I always say please and thank you.

Some days I carry on conversations with the people next to me. People around here are usually pretty friendly like that. I've never encountered a rude person on the bus here. We don't have commuter trains.

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

4. I usually find rudeness few and far between....

even on NYC subways and buses. Sometimes people just cross a line though and it always seems to be with people from outside the city in my case, lol.

:hi:

[Nicole]

12. Well that's good.

Isn't it strange how the out of towners are usually the worst? I find the same thing in OKC. It's usually the smaller town folks who are rude. Maybe being in the big city is intimidating to them so they don't give an inch in fear of losing a foot?


:hi:

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

14. yea, no question about that!

I find it the biggest irony of all...everyone thinks New Yorkers are mean and awful, but its the Bridge and Tunnel (suburban) people who are usually the worst, and the out of towners, :rofl:

[bicentennial_baby]

7. Heh, I'm in Boston...

My attitude varies with the behavior of my fellow passengers. People here can be very, very rude, as a rule of thumb. They shove, they push, they don't get out of the way when you're entering or exiting the train...So, I'm a lil brusque if I have to be, and have thrown the occasional elbow out of frustration, mostly. :shrug:

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

8. Yea, that happens here too

usually I get frustrated by other peoples attitudes as well. But, to actually have someone call you something, sheesh! what nerve

:hi:

[bicentennial_baby]

13. I see some wild behavior on the T!

Ranging from full-on verbal assault to the man that meowed in people's faces and sat in the middle of the car on the floor spreading out newspapers everywhere... :crazy:

But, I saw the exact same kind of stuff in Paris on the Metro, so maybe it's a public transportation by-product? :shrug:

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

15. I mean, NY has its share of crazies too

but most folk just want to have an enjoyable ride without the stress of assholes and psychos...except the rude ones

:crazy::silly:

[Esra Star]

17. See!! He was the guy that was mourning the dead cat.

Yeah that. And batshit crazy to boot.

[bicentennial_baby]

18. That was after he screamed at all of us for not wanting

to read his newspapers :D

[bigwillq]

10. Hi sexy!

:hi:

I use common courtesy when I commute but that's just how I am most of the time.

I don't always expect other people will do the same though.

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

11. I would at least hope people would say Please and Thank You

and not call me rude to my face when I'm just trying to avoid confrontation...because when I'm being rude, you'd fucking know :grr:

How you doing cutie pi? long time no speak :hug:

[Pacifist Patriot]

16. Oooo, vague memories of commuting in and out of Boston

I was raised to say:

please
thank you
excuse me

I remember a few raised eyebrows and a couple of tense moments, but I'm not about to break those habits. They can adjust to me, not the other way around.

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

19. I am doing a postbac program, so Im with new undergrads

and I am shocked at their lack of Please and Thank You and Excuse me...who is raising kids now a days?

I wish more people would have been raised to say such things

:thumbsup::D

[Pacifist Patriot]

20. I don't get it. You would think it would be a self-perpetuating thing.

If example means anything. I behave the way I do because my parents behaved that way. My kids are turning out to behave in this way because I do. Where is the degredation?

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

21. I guess there really were people that weren't raised that way and

are just raising kids to be as rude, obnoxious, and self-absorbed as them? :shrug: Maybe there are more of them then we thought?