you know you're from Oklahoma...

[ulysses]

(ping Heidi, karlrschneider, and others...:) )

You know you're from Oklahoma (especially small-town Oklahoma) if:

1. You can properly pronounce Eufaula, Gotebo, Okemah, Pottawatomie,
Pushmataha, and Chickasha.

2. You think that people who complain about the wind in their states are
sissies.

3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for
a funnel.

4. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the
highway.

5. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

6. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the
distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.

7. Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.

8. You've seen people wear bib overalls at funerals and/or weddings.

9. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.

10. You measure distance in minutes.

11. You refer to the capital of Oklahoma as "The City."

12. It doesn't bother you to use an airport named for a man who died in
an airplane crash.

13. Little smokies are something you serve only for special occasions.

14. You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.

15. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.

16. You know cow pies are not made of beef.

17. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding
date.

18. You have known someone who has had one belt buckle bigger than your
fist.

19. A bad traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down at a
four-way stop, each determined to be the most polite and let the other go
first.

20. You know in which state Miam-uh is and in which state Miam-ee is.

21. You aren't surprised to find movie rental, tanning beds, ammunition,
prom dresses, and bait all in the same store.

22. Your "place at the lake" has wheels under it.

23. A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F350 4x4 IS a status
symbol.

24. You know everything goes better with Ranch.

25. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.

26. You actually get these jokes and are "fixin" to send them to your
friends.

Finally, you are 100% Oklahoman if you have ever heard this conversation:
"You wanna coke?" "Yeah." "What kind?" "Dr. Pepper."

[RoyGBiv]

1. Fixin to ...

I think I may have lived here too long. I not only got them, most of them hit really close to home.

I haven't ever really understood the Ranch thing, though since I don't like it. I watch people at pizza places during the lunch buffet stack their plate full of pizza, then drown it in Ranch.

:shrug:

[ulysses]

2. I've lived out of state since 1991

and more still apply than don't. :)

[Nicole]

3. I get all of those

except the bib overalls thing. I have however seen jeans with suit jackets at both. :rofl:

[RoyGBiv]

4. Bib overalls ...

Hell, I saw someone buried in bib overalls.

:-)

[Nicole]

6. I have never seen that.

I'm sure some farmers I know were buried that way, I just didn't witness it. :)

[ulysses]

5. bib overalls are fun when the wearer,

like the old guy who used to sell bait up near Grand Lake in Ketchum, forgoes underwear. :wow:

[Nicole]

7. Especially fun when

they don't use the side buttons. :wow:

[sjcyoung]

13. Memories

Mr. Ulysses and I had an uncle-by-marriage (deceased last year) by the name of Delmar, just like the guy in O Brother Where Art Thou. He wore bib overalls EVERYWHERE. Including weddings & funerals, if he could be induced to attend them.

[RoyGBiv]

8. Little Smokies ...

I have a slight alteration I would make to this one:

13. Little smokies are something you serve only for special occasions.

Actually, little smokies turn any occasion into a special one.

Mmmmm ... little smokies ....

[ulysses]

9. LOL

I think that makes you an Okie with Honors. :D

[Heidi]

10. . . . you wonder "Why doesn't everyone in Switzerland have a dreamcatcher

hanging from their rear-view mirror?" :rofl:

Heidi, (fixin' to log out)

[SPKrazy]

11. Howevah it does bother me to have an airport named after a man

who died in a plane crash

but Texans do it too!

(Wiley Post airport in Texas)

Will Rogers was a great democrat and a great Oklahoman though!

the rest is purty accurate, although I haven't seen the overalls at a funeral thing myself

I got them all though

[RoyGBiv]

12. Wiley Post

There's a Wiley Post in OKC as well. It's a smaller airport for private planes, 10-15 miles north of Will Rogers.

[SPKrazy]

14. lol

you are right!

[ironflange]

15. You know why the license plates said "Oklahoma is OK?"

Nobody knew how to spell "mediocre."

:hide:

Heh, just kidding. A lot of items on that list apply just as much to Alberta.

[sjcyoung]

16. Here are some more . . .

Some I cribbed from a Facebook group, some I made up myself:

You were shocked when you found out that people up north don't serve Dr. Pepper.
You’ve been “back roadin'.”
You think vo-tech is medical school.
You get out of school for deer season.
You can name everyone you graduated with.
You know what 4-H is.
You’ve been to at least one party that was held about 20 miles down a deserted dirt road.
You used to drag “Main."
If you said the 'F' word, your parents knew within an hour.
You scheduled parties around the schedules of different police officers since you know which ones would bust you.
You could never buy beer, all the store clerks knew how who you were and how old you were.
The whole school went to the same party after graduation.
You couldn't help but date a friend's ex. (Or cousin. Or uncle.)
You could bait a hook before you could tie your shoes.
You had to watch out for deer on your way to school each morning.
You had friends whose parents owned and bred fighting cocks, for real.
All the grownups knew how to contact “the underworld,” a.k.a the “Dixie Mafia,” if they wanted to place illegal sports bets or buy some moonshine.
You were very polite to (the few) people you didn’t know well, because anyone in Oklahoma could be carrying a concealed weapon.
You knew not to mess with any little marijuana gardens or stills you might find out in the woods.

[hfojvt]

17. I am from South Dakota and Kansas

1) Kansas has a Pottawatamie County, and my Kansas town has a street by that name

2) My uncle from OKC came to my hometown in SD and said 'I thought it was windy in Oklahoma'. Also, if you really want wind, you gotta goto Wyoming. But my dad's boss was from Ohio and claimed that SD thunderstorms were tame compared to Ohio.

4) Oklahoma has urban areas far larger than those found in the Dakotas, Nebraska, Iowa, Wyoming and Montana (although the traffic is fu$%ed up in both Des Moines and Omaha (my least favorite being where I-29 merges with I-80 in Omaha and the four lanes goto two in almost nothing))

6) The summer sun is pretty brutal in Kansas and Missouri too.

10) Every urban resident seems to measure distance in minutes if they drive.

11) The city? As if Oklahoma only has one? Tulsa, Ok is 3 times as large as the largest city in SD. Places like Enid and Muskogee would be considered large cities in SD where the 3rd largest city in the state is Aberdeen at 24,196. The two largest cities in Wyoming - Casper and Cheyenne are about the size of Muskogee and smaller combined than even Sioux Falls, SD.

16) cow pies are pretty well known in SD, Wi, Mn, and NY, etc.

[Nicole]

22. About The City.

It's true Oklahoma has more than one city. But only one city is Oklahoma is referred to as "The City" here. You never hear any one call Tulsa "The City".

You might hear people in Oklahoma say they are going to town when visiting their local city. If they say they are going to "The City", you know they mean OKC.

[suninvited]

18. I live in North Texas, and it sounds like

it is not much different from Oklahoma.

[unsavedtrash]

19. You would fit in fine in Alabama

:hi:

[Coyote_Bandit]

20. Pretty accurate but

there is nothing in there that addresses the presence of the multitude of hypocritical tongue talking prosperity preaching word of faith laying on of hands preachers. I would add the following:

You know somebody that has anointed their wallet with oil, contributed money designated to pay their utility bill to the local mega-church, claimed the hundred fold return - and had better return buying lottery tickets.

Tongue talkers can sometimes be entertaining but snake handlers scare the sh*t out of you.

You too have been screwed by somebody with a little Christian fishy symbol on their business card. You swore it wouldn't happen again. But you found out there were no alternatives. Everybody has little fishies on their business cards.

You understand why folks order alcoholic drinks served in coffee cups.

You've considered starting a non-profit religious group in order to earn a living.

You attend healing services to figure out who is snitching to the reverend and who is playing sick. Besides it can be entertaining.

You've snuck out the back door of a bar to avoid being seen by your church acquaintances. And you've done it more than once.

You know somebody who marched around the perimeter of their yard seven times in the middle of the night in the rain barefoot and scantily clad in order to remove the demon of lust from their spouse.

You go to church to find a job - and you understand exactly why that is necessary.

You never understood exactly why the superintendent of that Christian school wasn't fired when his teenage son impregnated that young missionary girl. But you are glad they got married and had ten more kids. Before the divorce.

You know somebody who has gone to a Bible study drunk. More than once.

You know how to avoid being slain in the spirit.

You recognize the groupies that follow the religious broadcasters.

You change your church membership every time there is a new building project. You liken it to changing TV channels to get the news.

You know how to fake speaking and singing in tongues.

You know that the only reason the bratty preacher's kid is now a youth pastor in his daddy's church is because he couldn't get another job. You understand that his daddy is just trying to pass on the family business.

[Arugula Latte]

21. It surprised me when I moved to Oregon that people here say "sack" for "bag"

It's 'cuz the state was settled by people from your neck of the woods ...