Last week ago, I got in a discussion with somebody over 300. They had mentioned that 300 was a historical event, so it's got nothing to do with current affairs. I mentioned, in passing, that the TV series Batman was about a historically relevant topic- criminal justice issues in America in the sixties. It seems this was a closer comparison than I first realized, since 1. the same guy who did 300, also did Batman comics, and 2. 300 has pretty much twice as much... I mean half as much... You know what? 300's got just about exactly the same amount of camp and homoeroticism as Adam West's Batman.
Ancient Greeks, for whom we owe the term "homoeroticismSure, the neocons are all over this one. Why wouldn't they? A bunch of semi-literate, war-mongering pederasts really speak to the neo-con soul. Now since addressing current affairs in comic book movies is so en vogue these days (V for Vendetta addressed the issue of big brother government, and Ghost Rider dealt with the important issue of paying to much for crappy movies), the people behind 300 were quick to include lots of modern propaganda, "freedom isn't free" and all that bullshit." Now this has rubbed a few raw nerves with some people, but again, it's camp. Consider how ridiculous it's going to look fifeteen years from now. It'll be like watching old Star Trek episodes with their thinnly veiled attacks on Spiro Agnew.
Xerxes, "the Persian Tickler"But basically, the movie's about good guys in silly costumes beating up bad guys in silly costumes, stopping the action every know and then for some go-go dancing. There's something for everybody, from King Leonides' sidekick "Bucky" to his arch-nemesis "The Buggerer." You even get the slanty camera work from the TV show.
7th level Spartan makes saving throw vs. magic missleThe script doesn't hide the historical barbarities behind the Spartans. We see a young disadvantaged boy abandoned by his mother to a certain death. We then follow the boy as he kills rats in the sewers, then faces a boss encounter versus a wolf which, strangely, drops +2 chainmail gloves upon defeat.
"The Thespian" and his gang of criminal misfits kidnaps Commissioner GordonpIf there's one thing that bugs me about all the "Sword and Sandals" stuff that's been made recently, it's the dialogue. "Gladiator" had it, "Troy" had it, "Rome" has it- somewhere in the picture there's some jackass going on about how thousands of years from now, people will remember them. Oh, I get it! They're historical figures! Somehow they realize they're historical figures, and that we're watching them reflect on that. I can't wait until we see this in sci-fi pictures. Some space pirate's going to say, "ZOMG! We're going faster than light! Some teenage nerd was fantasizing about this thousands of years ago!"
Fancy Moff Tarkin: Bitches thousands of years ago don't know about how I'm chargin' mah lazer!The saving grace about this movie is its running time. I caught it for free before a feature presentation I was paying for. It only ran for about a minute and a half. I understand there's a longer 2 hour "Producer's Cut" in theaters, with tons of extra footage. That might be great if you're an enthusiast, those kinds of things don't usually add to the plot though.
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