How do you handle gossip?

[Raven]

Really, this is a serious question. I have a very good friend, actually she's the oldest friend I have, and she cannot keep anything to herself, nothing. She is a wonderful person but a terrible gossip and she admits it. I find it sad that because of that there are things I never share with her which I would like to. Me, on the other hand...I got into a mental habit years and years ago of brain dumping anything that anyone told me of a personal nature...it works like a charm...brain dumping comes easier the older I get! :-)

[taterguy]

1. I spread false rumours about myself

So that if anyone hears anything embarrassing that's actually true they won't believe it

[Midlodemocrat]

3. I KNEW IT!!! Bike riding?

:eyes:

[taterguy]

8. You say that like there's something scandalous about bikes

Is that what this country is coming to?

Are we so addicted to our precious little combustion engines that anyone who chooses to avoid them is an outcast?

Sigh.

[Midlodemocrat]

12. Not anyone, silly.

Just you.



:evilgrin:

And, I think it's great that you bike everywhere. It's not a possibility for us here in the burbs. Although we do do a lot of walking in and around the community.

I don't drive nearly as much as I used to. I have put 3000 miles on my new van since Nov. 14th, and that includes a round trip from Richmond to Albany at Thanksgiving.

[Raven]

4. Do guys gossip? n/t

[taterguy]

7. Yes guys gossip

But the fact of the matter is that most of my friends are women

[Midlodemocrat]

2. Interesting question.

For some reason, IRL of course, not as much here, people feel compelled to 'confide' in me. The stuff that I have been told would curl your hair.

I NEVER pass any of it along, because that would be a very high form of betrayal, but I'm not really above snarking about someone who has committed what I perceive to be a great injustice, especially to kids.

I figured out a long time ago if someone is a huge gossip and can't wait to 'spill the beans' to me, what is to keep them from gossiping about me behind my back?

[Fran Kubelik]

15. Exactly.

I figured out a long time ago if someone is a huge gossip and can\'t wait to \'spill the beans\' to me, what is to keep them from gossiping about me behind my back?

That is one of the reasons I really work hard to overcome my gossip inclination. I find that I really dislike people who gossip and trust them about as far as I can throw them.

[Midlodemocrat]

16. I got really badly burned about 10 years ago by someone

that I 'thought' was a friend. Boy, was I wrong. She gossiped about everyone and everything and it made me uncomfortable, but I didn't say anything to her.

Until I found out she was doing the same to me. What a jerk I was for trusting her.

She was one of these 'friends' who never, ever let you see the tawdry side, you know? Like she would only have playgroup if her house was immaculate, never let on that her brother failed his dental boards, or that her husband got fired, stuff like that.

Not a real friend. Not at all.

She moved away, which was really good. I'm way more careful now.

[Fran Kubelik]

18. Yes, I have learned similar lessons.

It can really hurt.

:hug:

[EFerrari]

5. I do the same thing. Heck, I don't even hold a DU user name

and a real name together if I can help it. I know myself, lol.

[skygazer]

6. Gossip runs rampant at my workplace

People are always passing on the latest bits. I do the same thing you do - I certainly don't pass it on and I do try to just dump it out of my brain.

And once in a while, I issue a gentle remark about how I don't really want to hear gossip. It doesn't really work but at least it gets my opinion out in the open.

(Probably for that reason, people often choose me to confide in. I don't mind that - sometimes people need someone to talk to and I never, ever betray a confidence)

[AlCzervik]

9. it depends on what she gossips about, i have a rule about gossip in general

don't ever tell me something i would have to lie about later, that has cut down on who tells me what. Gossip in general just doesn't interest me.

[graywarrior]

10. Most stuff I hear is boring and I am amazed how fast I forget what people tell me.

I'm usually having a totally different, way more fascinating conversation inside my head when people talk to me anyhow. I learned how to nod and make commiserating noises. People can tell me they murdered their spouse and I'd forget the minute I see something shiney.

[Guava Jelly]

11. Well you didn't hear this from me

But.....

[Fran Kubelik]

13. I am not as good as I want to be.

But I am getting better.

It is one thing I really have disliked about myself...but I have been working on it.

:(

[JackBeck]

14. Gingerly.

I used to bartend so I have a mental "lock box" with soo much crap in it that would make you head spin.

[Kali]

17. eh it's a way of life in rural areas - gives you something to talk about besides the weather

[Raven]

19. I wonder what makes us want to gossip?

The Town Crier gene? Especially passing on bad or sad information?

[Midlodemocrat]

20. The desire to be the one 'in the know'

Essentially a misplaced sense of self importance.

[MichiganVote]

21. Depends on who it is that comes to me and why I think they have

Most of the time I just mentally dump it. Sometimes I relish it, even if its not true. Other times I wait for an appropriate time and person to pass it on to but only with an agenda in sight for the miserable person who has been gossiped about---and who I may genuinely dislike.

If its a friend or someone who I respect, I refute it.

[BarenakedLady]

22. I admit I like hearing gossip.

Though I rarely give out gossip.

No one ever confides in me anyway. LoL.

[youthere]

23. I forget it as soon as I hear it...

seriously. I have a really bad short term memory. I heard something REALLY juicy about someone yesterday...but damned if I can remember who it was.

[crim son]

24. Why, I try to become the focus

because my day isn't complete without somebody insinuating they know something about me when they don't know shit. Oh, gossip about other people? I try to predict how it's going to fuck me up, and then I move on.

[CharmCity]

25. I don't "participate"

I respond with a very bored, "hmmm." I don't ask the next question. And I don't spread the word. It's done with me.

[Deja Q]

26. Like the El Aurians, I am a good listener... I like to listen.

It's a good thing I don't speak much... :rofl:

[peacefreak]

27. The biggest gossip in my workplace is one of my bosses.

She's passed on some very hurtful, very untrue things about my co-workers.
I've stopped hanging out with her. It put ME in the hot spot for awhile, but I don't care.
I've found I like my fellow workers much better without the petty sniping I used to listen to. I spend more time with them, then I do with my loved ones, why would I want to think badly of them?