Ugh. Jury duty today. GRAND Jury Duty

[matcom]

:eyes:

i'm starting a new job on 04/02. most important job of my life. i WILL be stating that fact. i simply can NOT serve 1 day a week for 18 months on this thing. :grr:

leaving to sit all day in a court house and HOPEFULLY not get picked.

shoot me now.

[mark414]

1. just tell them that you have no problem with anyone

except blacks and jews

that should get you cleared out no problem

[mikeytherat]

2. Three words for you: "News Reporter" and "Journalist"

Make sure you get those words in somewhere - the info form, the interview, SOMEWHERE. If they even think you are a reporter of any kind, you're pretty much off the hook.

mikey_the_rat

[Midlodemocrat]

3. Sucker punch the sheriff.

Trust me, THAT works.

[underpants]

6. Will the posse step up and IMPEACH BUSH? (important read)

"Jefferson's Manual" is an interpretive guide to parliamentary procedure, and is included (along with the Constitution) in the bound volumes of the Rules of the House of Representatives. It is ratified by each congress (including the current one), and has been updated continuously through the history of our democracy. The section covering impeachment lists the acceptable vehicles for bringing impeachment motions to the floor of the House.

"In the House of Representatives there are various methods of setting an impeachment in motion: by charges made on the floor on the responsibility of a Member or Delegate (II, 1303; III, 2342, 2400, 2469; VI, 525, 526, 528, 535, 536); by charges preferred by a memorial, which is usually referred to a committee for examination (III, 2364, 2491, 2494, 2496, 2499, 2515; VI, 552); or by a resolution dropped in the hopper by a Member and referred to a committee (April 15, 1970, p. 11941-2); by a message from the President (III, 2294, 2319; VI, 498); by charges transmitted from the legislature of a State (III, 2469) or Territory (III, 2487) from a grand jury (III, 2488) from facts developed and reported by an investigating committee of the House (III, 2399, 2444)."

http://impeachforpeace.org/ImpeachNow.html

[Midlodemocrat]

8. I certainly think the posse is up to the task, that's for sure.

[Kali]

13. ...

:spray:

aww man - my keyboard

[Rhiannon12866]

4. I am so sorry! I've done jury duty, but never Grand Jury.

But my mother did that. When she was in Australia and I was picking up her mail, she got a jury duty notice, so I called the head of jurors to explain that she wasn't here and that I couldn't get in touch with her. But this woman knows and likes my mother, so she said that she'd give her something that she'd really enjoy... And this was it. And my mother was chosen as foreman. Having been judged by my mother for most of my life, I didn't envy the defendants. But I do know that this went on for awhile. Just don't get picked as foreman. My sympathies are with you...:-(

[meegbear]

5. Be a man, girl!

If you're unwilling to promote justice in our society, then ... um ... the terrorists will have won!

[jus_the_facts]

7. "That's an impossible shot, Batman."

"That's the trouble with dual identities, matcom. Dual responsibilities." :P

[edbermac]

9. Just say "Well, the guy looks guilty, why bother having a trial?"

"Just stick him in the chair and let me throw the switch."

[Orrex]

10. Wear your uniform from Starfleet Academy

Or show up in a full suit of chain mail.

I don't know if that'll get you out of jury duty, but it'll get your name in the papers!

[Rob H.]

11. Know any police officers?

I got called for jury duty a few years back and wound up on a grand jury but fortunately it only met once a month for six months, and we were let go after four.

My dad, who got called at the same time, mentioned on his form that he used to work at the county courthouse in Memphis and knew some police officers. (It was a question on the form, he didn't just mention it at random.) They said, "Thank you for your time," and let him leave as soon as they read that.

[ohiosmith]

12. Two words: Assless chaps.

[MichiganVote]

14. Just tell them to outsource your spot matcom

[Kerrytravelers]

15. Wear an obnoxious W t-shirt and buttons that say "Abu Graib is child's play,"

"Never met an innocent defendant" and "Minorities look good in prison stripes."

Ask loudly and repeatedly if all the white people can sit together.

Fart often and make 'em good.



That might get you off, permanently. Or, you just might be mistaken for a Republican. Either way, no one will want to be around you.

[AngryAmish]

16. Be a grown up, serve

Don't be a baby.

[Elidor]

17. To any question they ask you, the correct answer is: "Fry the bastard!"

Pounding your fist on the table for emphasis may help.

I'd love to do something like that myself. Except for all the depressing stories I've heard about entrapment and sleazy prosecutors (locally, that is).

[mzteris]

18. all they have to do is

google your DU posts.

They'll disqualify you faster than Judge Judy can bang her gavel.

(Of course, they might arrest you or investigate you or something......)

:rofl:

[liberal renegade]

19. most federal grand juries

discuss drug cases and whether or not they have enough evidence to indict. All you have to do is let them know your against federal mandatory minimum sentences and you'll be dismissed...

been there and done that....

[MonkeyFunk]

20. It shouldn't be too hard

to get out of grand jury duty.

Here, it's voluntary - they ASK if you want to be on a GJ. But it only meets in the evenings, once a week.

[otherlander]

21. Just wear this

and carry this


and read it, too, so that when they talk to you you can start lecturing them about the Pig Empire.

[havocmom]

22. LOL good advice

:rofl: