Post bad medical advice.

[asthmaticeog]

I will begin:

Picking your nose lets the cancer out of you that demons put there.

[MissMillie]

1. always take more tylenol than the bottle recommends

I mean... who needs kidneys!

[datasuspect]

8. inhalation of crushed tylenol is an effective cocaine substitute

[LynneSin]

23. Tylenol and a 5th of Jack Daniel - good medicine

:eyes:

[mikeytherat]

2. Leeches are good to treat an imbalance of bodily humours.

Also, if it's a clear liquid, it can't hurt you.

mikey_the_rat

[Hugin]

4. Who needs all that water blocking up important humour ducts...

:rofl:

[asthmaticeog]

5. Seriously. Blocking the humor ducts is what GD is for.

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week...

[Hugin]

11. Since we're talking humours here...

Which of the four bodily humours are the Freepers lacking?

Black Bile?
Yellow Bile?
Blood?
Phlegm?

Is there a synthetic substitute they could be given... They're surely lacking one of them.

[asthmaticeog]

13. Blood. No shortage of bile or phlegm over there. nt

[Hugin]

16. True! True!

Eureka! A medical genius!



Now, I've had this pain in my ass for the last six years... What's causing it, Doctor?

[asthmaticeog]

24. Hmmm, how long have you been with your current employer and/or SO?

:evilgrin:

[Hugin]

3. "Smoking reduces your reactions to airborne allergens".

I -actually- heard that one once.

[philosophie_en_rose]

6. All you can eat McDonalds buffets are the diet plans of the future!

:9

[datasuspect]

7. when beset by demons (or other witchery) drive a hole in the side of the skull

to let loose the foul distemper.

[cloudbase]

9. Eat more poop.

After all, billions of flies can't be wrong.

[NewWaveChick1981]

10. Always pour rubbing alcohol directly into cuts and scrapes. Doesn't hurt a bit.

:yoiks:

[Hugin]

12. I wasn't aware my Mom was seeing other patients...

:rofl:

[NewWaveChick1981]

17. ROFL!

:rofl: I think your mom and my mom must have gone to the same medical classes.. :P

[Hugin]

18. "Who needs sutures when you have a sewing kit."

May have been an advanced course... I suppose. :D


To her credit, I never got an infection. I also didn't realize that aspirin was actually a
pain killer until I was in my thirties. As, she would only give me a half when I was young...
I thought it was ritual medicine. LoL!

[terrya]

14. Laudanum is good for what ails you!

[Little Wing]

15. Share your dog training techniques with the DU lounge for advice

[derby378]

19. Take vasopressin with ketamine, because you'll want to remember the experience

:rofl:

[skygazer]

20. Drink plenty of alcohol when taking narcotic pain relievers

It will help you sleep. O8)

[MorningGlow]

21. Something my EX doctor actually told me

"You were overweight as a child so you should expect to be overweight as an adult."

Never mind the 25 years in between when I was THIN, you asshole. Oh yeah--that, and my thyroid problem. Let's ignore that one; it's too much work to address it.

:eyes:

P.S.: Bitter? Who, me?

[Critters2]

31. I once had a doctor tell me that low blood pressure in youth

is a predictor of HIGH blood pressure later in life. Wanted to put me on blood pressure meds when my pressure was 110/70.

Not my doctor anymore.

[5thGenDemocrat]

22. Don't worry about that pain in your left shoulder

You probably just twisted your back. It'll go away.
John
I did that one for two weeks. Turned out my right coronary artery was collapsing. Would've killed me dead dead dead in another couple of days.

[formerrepuke]

25. You can't get pregnant the first time you 'do it'.............n/t

[Courtesy Flush]

26. Insurance doesn't pay for new shoes

But it does pay for new prosthetics. Lay your legs on the tracks, folks!

[tk2kewl]

27. And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out

:silly:

[LaraMN]

28. Pelvic exam advice, two words: "clench up."

:o

[LynneSin]

30. Don't forget to chill the 'Duck Face' before using it

Nothing like an ice cold 'Duck Face' when getting an exam.

[MonkeyFunk]

29. Try ...

homeopathy or chiropractic! My aunt swears by it!

[crim son]

32. Straight from my MIL.

Put your elbows in a sinkful of hot water to cure a headache. Also, drink a mixture of honey and lemon because it flushes away phlegm as it pours through the lungs. :crazy:

[Critters2]

33. Does it hurt when you do this

:banghead: ?

Well, stop doing that!

[bridgit]

34. ingesting hydrogen peroxide alleviates internal infection...

[asthmaticeog]

35. AND it's refreshing!

:thumbsup:

[Miss_Strawberry]

36. Having sex with a virgin

will cure AIDS and if you are a virgin you can have sex and won't get pregnant the first time.

[Scarlett17]

37. Breastfeeding is great birth control. n/t

[ruiner4u]

38. It aint good if it dont bleed...

[qnr]

39. Bad light bulbs are hard on your eyes, and are generally due to dirty sockets; lick your fingers

and clean the sockets out. Or use a direct application of the tongue in those cases of serious dirt layers.

Note: Combo bad DIY and Medical advice!

[cobalt1999]

40. well whenever my wife complains of some aliment...

I always reply "You know, having sex will fix that right up". :)

[mentalsolstice]

41. Overtly & loudly burping and farting

burns a lot of calories...according to my college roommate (back in the late 70s).

[Cobalt-60]

42. Abstinence