OK, so my daughter is marrying into a huge and wonderful family

[hedgehog]

Poll question: OK, so my daughter is marrying into a huge and wonderful family

this summer. We want all the couple's friends and relatives down to the cousins' kids there, so we're keeping expenses down by going rather informal. The reception is to be held at a camp ground (in case anyone wants to/needs to sleep it off instead of driving home) and we're serving a picnic style buffet: roast pig, pulled pork, barbecue chicken, beans, corn bread, macaroni salad on PAPER PLATES!!! The cousins will probably go together on presents, so I expect we'll be listing the places the couple is registered on the map to the reception and tuck that into the invitation.

This is a northern ethnic wedding, on both sides.

Well?

PS - just for laughs, tell us what part of the country you're from. I'm curious to see how attitudes vary.

[AllegroRondo]

1. My thoughts on wedding receptions

as long as the Bride and Groom are happy with it, everyone else should shut up and enjoy themselves.

[LeftyMom]

2. Don't put the registry information in the invitiations. It's tacky.

People who want to know will ask when they RSVP.

[NashVegas]

39. I Strongly Disagree

If the couple is registered somewhere, they have to inform people of that at some point. What better time is there?

Not everyone knows to ask if the couple is registered.

[datasuspect]

3. i'd rather not bother with the details

i'm only concerned with one thing: is there gonna be free booze?

[hedgehog]

6. Not only that, but the bride's brother is making a keg of special

honey brewed beer! Plus the groom wants a keg of his favorite micro-brew. The groom's father made the best suggestion: hire three bartenders to keep an eye on things!

[skygazer]

4. I like informal weddings

A wedding, in my opinion, is an opportunity for family to get together to wish the new couple good luck in their future together. It should not be something that puts either the couple or their parents in the poorhouse.

I'm from New England and maybe that's my Yankee thrift coming through but it sounds like a great time to me.

[Rabrrrrrr]

5. I think it sounds like a blast!

Though it's tacky to put the registries in the invitations.

And the environmentalist in me says not to use paper plates, but to get cheaper plastic ones that can be reused for other outdoor parties.

Informal receptions like this one are always way more fun than the formal ones.

I intend to do a pig roast on the family farm when and if I get married.

Oh, tell the couple to provide some games for the kids - set up a croquet field or something to help keep 'em entertained, and maybe a table with crayons and coloring books.

[hedgehog]

7. Good idea!

Now I have an idea for some really unique wedding favors: How about a coloring book about the bride & groom!

[Zavulon]

17. Hey, Rabrrrrrr - this isn't the Wal-Mart wedding you were referring to, is it?

;)

I agree with you on the informal receptions being more fun than the formal ones, BTW. Also, you're right that putting registries in invitations is tacky.

I would opt for paper plates, though. For a small picnic I'd go our route, but for a large party that is pretty much a one-time deal (we hope, anyway), the environmentalist in me gives way to the sloth. I would never wash a ton of plastic plates when I could throw out the paper in one fell swoop. I'm a bad, bad man.

[Arkansas Granny]

8. Sounds to me like you folks know how to celebrate an event!

Best wishes to the bride and groom!

:party:

[youthere]

9. When is this feast being served?

And where? Directions?


*drool*

[Courtesy Flush]

10. Sail magazine

I really don't enjoy Sail magazine anymore. They seem to exist solely for the purpose of getting me to keep up with the Jonses, and spend every penny I make on a big freaking yacht with all the bells and whistles, when I just want to sail.

Same applies to bridal magazines. They've taken the yacht club mentality and applied it to family occasions.

I really hate this competitive wedding mentality that is so prevalent these days. My reception was in my brother-in-law's living room. That was 23 years ago, and we're just as married as anyone else.

I've seen mega-weddings that were followed by divorces within a year. I think there's a correlation there, as the wedding is often a representation of the couple's values and priorities. (The event you describe speaks volumes about your well-centered values!)

Enjoy the cabin in the woods. Sounds like a great idea. Take the money you saved and buy The Happy Couple a nice sailboat.

Congratulations to all!

[bertha katzenengel]

11. I'm from Southern California and I think it's fantastic.

I do not care what anyone thinks of me or what I do. I believe in non-traditional stuff all the way. If everyone is comfortable with this, great. If they're not, so what? You want everyone to be there, and if this is the only way you & everyone can afford it, so be it!

Fabulous idea!

[Missy Vixen]

12. The registry information in the invite is a big no-no

Other than that, if I bring a gift, may I come? Sounds like a blast!

Best wishes to the couple, and I hope you all have a wonderful time!

Julie

[PVnRT]

13. WHAT??? It isn't being catered by the finest restaurant in town?

No symphony orchestra? Ice sculptures? Ballroom dancing? Disgusting!

[hedgehog]

14. The groom is bringing his garage band.

I expect some polkas and a chair dance. It turns out to be a Polish custom as well as a Jewish custom. Who knew?

[PVnRT]

26. *faints*

n/t

[Lost-in-FL]

33. LOL!!!

:spray:

[Blue Diadem]

15. It sounds like fun

Some people say don't put the registration info in the invitation..but I've yet to receive an invitation to either a shower or wedding that didn't have the registry listed in some way.

Some of the best receptions I've attended have been informal.

[AlCzervik]

16. that sounds like it's going to be a blast.

[mopinko]

18. i think it is fine, but what do i know?

i got married at city hall, and we never even told our relatives.

[GoneOffShore]

19. Sounds like a hoot!!

Just don't do the registration info in the invite.

When they RSVP or why not put up a website? Put all the prep and info on there. And a blog and a place to leave comments.

If you've got a Mac use iWeb.

We did this for our twentieth and bought a cheap domain name and had it transfer to the dotMac account.

[enigmatic]

20. That sounds like alot of fun

It's a reception I'd go to in a second.

As for Putting the registry on the invite; part of my job for the last 20 years is catering and serving wedding receptions; I've probably done over 200 of them, from ones that cost 1000 to 45,000 dollars. Maybe 4 or 5 at the most at the most didn't have the registry on the invite itself, and just about every cater and wedding planner I've known has never questioned this, so the whole "It's tacky" thing is a moot point except in those who are complaining about it. It's accepted.

Have a great time, and more importantly, celebrate the reception and the ones starting a new life together, don't be like the many idiots I've seen over the years who do nothing but bitch, moan, and snark about everything in the reception that "they" would have done differently and rag on the bride, groom, and family because of whatever definition of "tackiness" in in vogue today.

Have fun!

[TOhioLiberal]

21. Sounds like fun...

...listing where the couple is registered is tacky. I'm from the Midwest (Ohio, don'tcha know ;) ).

[slj0101]

22. #2.

Otherwise, it sounds like a blast! the SO and I had a picnic reception, and it was great fun. If your relatives are a bunch of stuffed shirts, it may not be their thing, but if not, I'm sure they'll have fun.

[av8rdave]

23. I think expensive, lavish wedding receptions only make sense

when the family can afford them. Why put people into hock with an occasion that should be about the people and the event - not the lavish trimmings!

I hope it's a wonderful, memorable event for both families!

[ronnykmarshall]

24. mmmmm MEAT!

[Orangepeel]

25. We didn't register at all when we got married and I'm very glad about it.

I took the position that if somebody didn't know one of us well enough to pick something out, they didn't need to be giving us a present.

I got a lot of gift cards, which was just as easy for the guests as picking something off a list. So that reason to register didn't hold water. I did get too many vases and had to take a set of pots back to the store. But that would have happened anyway, I believe.

But most of what I got was special and interesting. Stuff people picked out for us. It was much more meaningful to me to get, say, an enameled casserole dish that Aunt Joan thought we would like than it would be if Aunt Joan gave me something I picked out for myself. Would I even remember that Aunt Joan was the one who gave it to me?

Anyway, if I had to do it again, I wouldn't register again.

By the way, hedgehog, your party sounds like fun!

[bbernardini]

27. You should have it catered by Olive Garden.

And give the kids cigarettes and cell phones.

[hedgehog]

29. Damn - I weaned the last kid 14 years ago, so I'll have to look

around to find a breast feeding mother!

[Lost-in-FL]

34. And should ask to have the reception here...

AT Edwards new home!! It is a very energy efficient home... and it is BIG!!!

[LynneSin]

28. Honestly - I always wanted a wedding with a roast pig and Kegs of good beer

I could never tolerate those stuffy weddings

I'm originally from rural central PA - hell I know how to setup a Roast Pig

[Midlodemocrat]

30. Well, I'm a pin butted Yankee, to quote my husband

and I think it sounds absolutely lovely.

:hi:

[Gormy Cuss]

31. Spring for the good paper plates or get plastic.

That's HEAVY food and you don't want people crying about it falling off of the cheap plates . It sounds like a perfect summer reception idea to me.

Leave the registry info out of the invitation however. It's bad form.

[Lex]

32. Costco sells good heavy clear plastic utensils & nice heavy paper plates

that look pretty good and aren't expensive at all.

I suggest those!

[hedgehog]

35. The restaurant that's doing the catering is providing the plates

At least I think it is!

I have to figure out a big smock for my daughte to wear while she's eating to keep the grease off her dress!

[trof]

36. I believe in everybody doing like they want to do. Pretty much.

Miz t. and I basically eloped.
That's another story.

When our darling daughter and only child set the date they both had very definite ideas about the fairy tale wedding.
OK, it's what my daughter wanted and what Miz t. had not had.
Compensation, I guess.
And it was incredibly expensive.
And I had a great time.

But I could have had just as good a time at a pulled pork barbecue.
And not written as many big checks.

You guys do what you want and the hell with anyone who looks down their patrician blue noses at it.
Have fun.

on edit: And kiss the bride for me.

[Scooter24]

37. In the eight years I have been planning weddings...

I have yet to have a client request paper plates for their reception. Though I can understand trying to keep the costs down, I personally could never recommend it.

I abhor eating off of them, they are cheap and just feel tacky.

However, if the bride and groom and guests are comfortable with the occasion and atmosphere, then go for it. Congratulations to them both :hi:

[Debi]

38. Do what makes the families happy

and the memories sweet :hi:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

40. Wedding Receptions should be fun and comfortable.

Screw anyone who doesn't like what you're doing! I think it sounds awesome. Just don't tell anyone where the couple is registered. THAT is tacky.
Duckie

[NashVegas]

41. Don't Sweat It

As long as you have plenty of good booze and a joyful family that makes the reception a blast to be at, the only people who will be bothered by paper plates are those who aren't really there to celebrate.

PS - I find nothing tacky about letting people know where the couple are registered. Just make sure there is a good variety in the price ranges.