I've been shit on by birds at least 13 times in my life.

[Evoman]

I am not fucking kidding. Most people go their entire lives never having been shit on by a bird. Not me.

And get this...I have NEVER owned a bird, and I do not live in a big city where there are a lot of pigeons. Three of my bird shit incidents happenned when I was travelling through South America. None of my siblings were shat on, and they went to the exact same places as me.

I even had a bird with a broken wing LAND ON MY HEAD AND SHIT ON IT. I kid you not.

Has ANYBODY here ever been shit on by a bird more than once or twice? No? Well fuck you...I'm at 13 and counting.

I've even wondered several times if someone was playing a huge joke on me, but how the heck do you strategically throw bird shit at someone right when a bird flies overhead.

I was going to post this in the weird thread, but I thought this was too weird even for that.

I don't expect anyone to respond, because I'm pretty sure nobody has been a target for bird shit as often as I, and thus I will get no sympathy. I'm not a superstitious person, nor am I a religious person.

But sometimes it makes me wonder.....

[FuzzySlippers]

1. I remember at least a couple of instances

when I was walking under a tree and a bird shit on my head. And that's not counting my pet parakeet who used to sit on my shoulder and shit on me all the time. I have no idea why I felt compelled to reply to this thread. :freak:

[Evoman]

3. I don't know either...this is the worst thread I have ever started.

But whatever...I say we raise a glass in celebration of our being shit on by birds

:toast:

[idgiehkt]

2. yes, this definitely deserves it's own thread

:rofl:

I have no 'bird shit incidents' to speak of. I have always heard it is really good luck though...I have not been thusly blessed. My car gets shit on at least 13 times a day by geese though, does that count?

[Evoman]

4. How can 1 person never be shit on, and another gets shit on

13 times. Seriously...everytime a bird chirps, I look around suspiciously.

And I still haven't mentioned this one time a Crow followed me for 6 blocks on the way to school. He would fly to the tree ahead of my then CAW CAW at me as I walked past. I'm not shitting you...like the bird shit on me. Okay, that bird didn't shit on me, but still..it was weird.

I think it might have been the REALLY white shirt I was wearing that day...maybe the bird liked it, and wanted it for nest material. Or maybe he wanted to shit on it, but he was constipated.

[idgiehkt]

5. wow

I just watched a movie where a each time a crow did that it was telling the person that they were going to meet the love of their life, or a person of great influence in their life, and leading them to it. I just remembered the name of the movie, it was called "How to make an American Quilt".

I think this is too funny. I'm trying to think if there is anything like that that happens to me habitually but I can't think of a thing. I'm not special, lol.

[Evoman]

6. Special? Is that what you call a person who is constantly shat on by birds?

And that fucking crow didn't lead me to anything. After I got to school, it was the same old, same old. My life is the definition of mediocre....student by day, student-who-doesn't-want-to-be-a-student-by-night by night.


Fucking crow might as well have shat on me, for all the good he did me.

[Submariner]

7. In Alaska, just outside Anchorage

I had to go to a pond to collect sediment for lab analysis of toxic elements like PCBs, etc. To get to the pond I had no choice but walk through a rookery about 200-feet wide where about 200 seagulls were nesting in the springtime. The nests were like 1-foot high tufts of grass in a wetland marsh next to the pond.

So with a sediment corer in one hand, and a bucket with sample jars in the other, I proceeded to walk very slowly and quietly through the rookery so as not to disturb the hundreds of nesting gulls. It was like a scene from Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds" with all the gulls looking at me and slightly squawking, the deeper into the rookery I got the louder the squawking got. By the time I got halfway through the rookery it was getting very noisy....then it happened!!

All of a sudden the gulls went airborne screaming their brains out, lined up in dive bomber flight formation and let me have IT!!! You have not experienced life until you've had a couple of hundred gulls dive bomb and shit all over you. They dived, and dived, and dived until their colons were empty. I was covered with bird poop from head to toe. Luckily I had waders and a hat on, but I had big green/yellow poopies dripping off the brim of my hat like runny eggs.

It was the most disgusting experience in my life.

When I turned around to see the reaction of my partner, another biologist, he was almost falling down laughing, and it was all I could do not to fall down laughing myself. I felt bad about disturbing the gulls to get to the pond, but they indeed got their revenge.



The only other time I remember getting bird poop on me was the day I went for an interview for my my first professional job in my brand new suit. Waiting for a subway train, I felt a plop on my shoulder. I looked up to see a pigeon squeezing off a fresh one on my shoulder.

Thanks for the memories. :rofl:

[Evoman]

8. BWAAHAHAHAHA

Great stories.

I was on a date with this pretty darn sexy girl....we were walking in the park, and a bird turd landed on the side of my head/glasses. Not knowing what the heck happened (although in retrospect, I can't believe I didn't having already been a victim of the first 8 shits), I put my hand to my head, and I had this soggy green smelly bird shit on my hand.

I didn't get laid that night, and we had one more bird-feces-event free night before she decided she wasn't interested.

[Evoman]

9. Feces #5 - The Hamburger Event.

I went to a barbecue, and had a yummy, half eaten burger in my hand. Pretty damn tasty. Then a bird shit on the burger and my hand. I threw the burger in the garbage....the host kind of gave me a sad look. I explained the situation. I don't think he believed me.

[FuzzySlippers]

10. The funniest thing

is that you apparently have each event cataloged.

:rofl:

[Evoman]

11. You have no idea.

I can remember almost every single shit. After the first four, I honestly did catalogue them...especially since I've found out that gettin shit on that many times is not normal.

Lol..give me a number from 1 to 13.

[NMMNG]

12. I've never had a bird shit on me

But my friend's cousin was once riding in a car with the window open about halfway. A passing bird shit and the shit managed to come in the partially open window and land right on her face.

[Evoman]

13. Suprise surprise..I have a similar story.

Feces #10: Riding in the back of my friends jeep, off road, to a fire pit. Top down in the front. Bird, as they are wont to do, takes advantage of this temporary lapse of judgment, and shits on my shoulder.

[NMMNG]

15. Do you have a target on you that only birds can see?

:rofl:

[Evoman]

14. Its late..I'm going to bed. Tommorow morning, I will tell you the story of feces #4

I call that story "Covenant with God"....why? Tune in tommorow.

[Evoman]

23. Covenant with God.

I was with my friend at his churches youth group....we decided to hold a car-wash on the church ground so that we could raise enough money to help the church pay for sending us to this youth camp. Of course, I don't believe in god, but I liked hanging around kids my own age who didn't do drugs and fight. I just didn't let anybody know I was atheist...but maybe someone up there found out, lol.

I had just started washing a car when a bird with what may have been a broken wing landed on my head. Of all the kids there, it landed on mine. And it took a shit on my head. And then it hopped to the car and shit on the car. Poor thing was scared to death. It may have been the lord who sent a bird to shit on me, but I say fuck 'em....afterwards, I was the only one who felt really bad for the bird. The other kids just tried to shoo it and were scared of diseases..at least I tried to help it get to a nearby tree.

[jgraz]

16. I get shit on by a bird at least once a day

He's just lucky he's so cute...

[idgiehkt]

17. beautiful

if we are talking about being shat on by domesticated birds then of course I too am shat on everyday, by my cockatiel. I guess we need to define the terms. :)

[crispini]

18. Only once. I was out biking, and found bird shit on my helmet when I took it off.

I do think you are the primo person for birds shitting on you. Must be some kind of weird karma. :P

[Jamastiene]

19. I have the same problem.

Birds love to pelt me with shit, especially if they have been eating those purple berries and I'm wearing a light color. Just the other day at school a whole vee alignment of ducks flew over and pelted me in unison. I knew they flew in a vee shape, but I didn't know they would shit in unison in that vee shape.

My mother and my aunt both have the same problem too. Around my house, we say, "The bird of paradise flew over my head... and shit on me." No kidding. I feel your pain on this.

One thing I have learned, don't look up when you hear the flutter of wings and if you do, make sure your mouth is closed.

[Evoman]

24. We're soul mates, Pee girl.

And really, I don't mind it so much....anything that makes for a great story is worth it in my book.

[mykpart]

20. Little birdy in the sky

Why'd you do that in my eye?
It didn't hurt; I won't cry,
But, boy! I'm glad that cows can't fly!

Cartoon of a little guy with a bird sitting on his head. Caption: Go ahead; everyone else does.

Old song: I'm just sittin in a vacant lot with a bird sittin on my head.

Thanks for the nostalgia thread!

[Casper Alabaster]

21. I've been to capitol cities,

and have been around birds all my life, and only had one shit on me, whilst biking w/ a chick. A huge splotch, there's nothing you can do.
Yours is truly an interesting tale, and pretty damn funny.
Evoman, you obviously have some kind of human/avian interface, the significance of meaning, if any, makes your post a fun read.
13 times, that's pretty weird.

[Evoman]

26. There is no meaning to it, other than statistics.

Its not like I find a treasure chest full of gold after a bird shits on me.

Almost everytime I go to a capital city, I get shit on.

Feces 6 and 7 took place in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Right here, actually:


Feces 8, Santiago, Chile.

Again, none of my family was shit on...you can actually feed the pigeons..they land on you and eat food out of your hands. At least they did me the honour of shitting on me AFTER I finished feeding them, not during.

[seemunkee]

22. 4 times

All at the beach by seagulls. I hate those fuckers.

[SPKrazy]

25. It's Instant Karma Evoman!

:rofl:


kidding d00d!


:pals:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3URLhMam-o

[Evoman]

29. You think I was Col. Sanders in a previous life?

You'd think there would be better form of karmic retribution......bird feces makes you think :wtf:, not "I deserve this for being a fink in a former life"

[SPKrazy]

32. Perhaps You are just A Lucky Man

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDiLOMP9MNE


or perhaps you are going to be saved from the bird flu because you will have so much in the way of antibodies to it from all that bird poop!

:pals:

[Jokerman]

27. Well, I drive a convertible...

and those little darlings have targeted me more than once.

[RevCheesehead]

28. Was it a Foo Bird?

Because, according to tradition, if the Foo shits, wear it. ;)

[Evoman]

30. About 3 were from pigeons, 4 FOR SURE from Canada Geese.

And the other 6 were stealth bombers. I have no idea.

[Evoman]

31. dupe

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

33. Are you a statue? -nt

[Evoman]

34. No, but I'm tall and have the personality of a can of paint.

So..same difference?

[XNASA]

35. Maybe your haircut makes you look like St. Francis?

[Evoman]

36. The only difference between St. Franice and I:

Well, just about everything....and if someone took a picture of me when there were that many birds around, my brown monks robe would be covered with shit. Some of it would be from the birds.

[ileus]

37. Once....God must love me more.