Show of hands... who else here has been made to feel like a whore? (story & pic)

[Kerrytravelers]

I was made to feel like a slutty whore today.

I have an... interesting... supervisor. I have always felt that she isn't wild about me. For a while, I felt she was a bit hostile. But recently, I've noticed she's been a bit nicer to me. Almost nice, even!

Now, I work from home. Once a month, there is a staff meeting, held at the home of my supervisor. We're all teachers for a chartered independent study program. I tend to be someone who dresses up a bit. I'm not snotty and I don't judge others by their clothing (well, unless they have a W04 shirt on, then I judge!) but I am a bit of a fashionista, not over the top, but I enjoy putting ensembles together and presenting myself as such.

I work with all women. There isn't one man on staff. And when we do have staff meetings, it isn't the whole staff, only the staff that lives in the area (there are various meetings.)

Apparently, someone I work with has complained about my clothes. The issues is I'm too reveling. I am clueless as to what I've wore that is revealing. I know last staff meeting, I was bent over going through folders, so perhaps she was gazing down my shirt. (Perhaps she liked what she saw and is in the process of sorting out her feelings.) However, I'm very careful that when I wear anything that someone could look down, I chose a bra that isn't lacy and "fun" as Mr. kt likes to call it. I am actually a very modest person. My supervisor claimed to hate saying anything like this and hoped I wouldn't take it wrong, but please, I know what utter bullshit this is.

I have never been told that I dress to revealing. In fact, I've been told quite the opposite. I've wore the same things to other places of work and have never been told any such thing. I don't know if this is originating from my supervisor or from someone else at the monthly staff meetings.

Here is the whore shirt in question. Keep in mind, I had a long sleeves sweater over it and pulled mostly closed and a large, chunky necklace. The red color was the bright flash of color I wore with my tan/beige colors that day:


Apparently this isn't ok, either. Keep in mind, I wear sweaters or scarves to dress up my shirts.


I wish some of my other things weren't in the dirty clothes so you could get a better idea of what I wear. You know, I've been a teacher for a long time, I think I know what is appropriate for a staff meeting and what isn't. When we meet with our clients, we have a school polo that we wear, so it is not like anyone has to worry about what I'm wearing when I'm out representing my place of business.

Yep. Pretty whorish, isn't it? I should be careful, I might be mistaken for a street walker. :eyes:

I think next month, I should wear a shirt that covers my arms, my entire neck and hangs past my butt... with no bra. Let 'em see what my girls can really do. :evilgrin:

[knowbody0]

1. breathtakingly beautiful -

red hair, voluptuous body. Whatever you wear will be toooooo sexy!

[Kerrytravelers]

7. Thank you. I'm blushing.

:blush:

[MissB]

2. I don't see how the way you dress should affect a damned thing.

No, you don't dress like a whore (as if you needed me to tell you that!)

You aren't in public. You're meeting with other teachers in a private home. It isn't even a workplace per se.

Someone has their purity wrapped a bit too tightly. Your best response would be to continue to wear what you're wearing, and if it comes up again, you'll have to ask your supervisor to be much more specific as you're not dressing like a harlot. Holy hell.

I see a nipple in the lower picture. :rofl: Maybe that was the person's problem.

[Kerrytravelers]

8. That's what I'll do! I'll take a photo of every artilce of clothing and ask for an approved list!

:rofl:

[SKKY]

3. Didn't your Mother ever tell you???

It's not nice to point!!! :evilgrin:

[Kerrytravelers]

9. Oh, go on with yourself, you rotten thing!

:evilgrin:

[ThomCat]

4. There's no guessing what people will get upset about.

Sometimes it seems almost random. :shrug:

If your boss doesn't think it's a big issue then hopefully your mystery co-worker won't have any future opinions about your clothing.

[Kerrytravelers]

11. Who knows that this supervior thinks? She is so bizarre.

A very odd duck, this one.

[LaraMN]

5. If you're whorish looking, I'd hate to hear what would be said if you dressed like me.

That's ridiculous.
It sounds to me like someone else has some personal issues.

[Kerrytravelers]

12. I think someone is having feelings they've been trying to repress for years.

Just a guess.

[Bunny]

6. I think you look fine, especially if you had a sweater on over it.

My question is: why did your boss mention this to you? Did she agree with the complainer? If she agreed, and wants you to dress in other clothes, that's one thing. But if she didn't, I think her response to the complainer should have been that your outfit was appropriate for the occasion. Seriously, what did your boss hope to accomplish by telling you this? :shrug:

[Kerrytravelers]

13. She wasn't clear with her opinion. I think she just likes to be hurtful toward me.

She has been snippy since day one. I just can not figure this woman out. I have done nothing nothing nothing to her at all. I am the most non-confrontational person who goes out of their way to make everyone else comfortable, even if it means I have more work to do in the end. I have never been treated so catty before.

[querelle]

10. Nothing Wrong With What You Wore

What does your supervisor expect? A fucking burqua? You look just fine. Don't sweat it.

Q

[Kerrytravelers]

15. That's it! I'll wear a burqua next meeting!

... with no bra, just to make 'em mad!

[Gormy Cuss]

14. It's your flaming red hair. You haven't been tucking it under a scarf, have you?

Honestly, your immodesty is just making me so uncomfortable. Please take down those slutty photos -- have you no sense of decency, woman?:+

[Kerrytravelers]

16. ! No decency at all !

:rofl:

Better hit alert and let the mods know what's going on in here!

[leftofthedial]

17. did that bottom shot inspire the Wallflowers

"One Headlight"?


:evilgrin:

just asking.


I'm made to feel like a whore all the time. I'm a professional musician. One of my steadier gigs is playing keyboards in a cover band. *THAT'S* prostitution.

[Kerrytravelers]

23. I remember my gigin' days. If only my co-workers could see what I wore then.

Younger and thinner. I'd be an unforgivable whore, then. :eyes:

[leftofthedial]

39. you are not, and don't look anything like, a "whore"

You are a beautiful woman, obviously very much in love with Mr. Kt, who is a lucky, lucky man.



Sounds to me like your supervisor is an idiot.

[AlCzervik]

18. you don't look whorish at all, god forbid you have boobs, maybe they want you to just tape them down

and then wear long ugly potato sacks. thats really ridiculous and it's says way more about them.

[Kerrytravelers]

20. That's exactly what my mom was saying.

Her exact quote was "Honey, next time you're getting dressed, look in the mirror and think about all the thought and frustration that was expressed about the rack God gave 'ya."

Yep. That's my mom.

[Tsiyu]

61. You have a very cool Mom

and those catty women ...are they Amish or something?

[huskerlaw]

19. Well, you know,

we didn't want to say anything, but after the DU meet-up in Long Beach, a lot of us were thinking "OMG, that KT is SUCH a whore!" But we didn't want to hurt your feelings...

:evilgrin:

I kid, of course. What a ridiculous thing to say. She's obviously got issues. :eyes:

[Kerrytravelers]

22. I knew it!

:evilgrin:

I mean, just look at the whore in that picture! OMG. She is the devil with her whorish ways!



I'm glad I only have to see these people once a month for less than two hours.

[huskerlaw]

27. Sl00t!

See how you've got your hands all over poor Xema! Jeebus, woman, have you no shame?!

;)

[Kerrytravelers]

28. No shame at all. Everybody wants me. You don't? You're just in denial.

:rofl:







Had to add the :rofl: so no one thinks I'm really that in love with myself!

[huskerlaw]

29. Hello, my name is Husker

and I'm in denial about KT.

*hangs head in shame*

You caught me!

[edbermac]

21. You might be right; she sounds warm for your form.

I certainly am. ;)

[Kerrytravelers]

24. Well, apparently my sluttish ways does that to people!

:rofl:

[xchrom]

25. i had to check out what city you're in --

los angeles -- there's no doubt then that it's personal and not you.

[Kerrytravelers]

26. My supervisor isn't that bad looking at all.

And she's married to an actor who isn't a name at all, but is hot hot hot.

While she does have a cute face and a beautiful shade of red hair, she could stand to use a comb and rethink some of her color choices. But I would never say anything to her or treat her unkind because I hold these opinions.

I do think she has security issues.

[xchrom]

38. she has something all right.

you're definitely dressed all right.

i'm not there so i can't say for sure -- but your gut instinct probably won't lead you wrong.

[Kerrytravelers]

41. I usually do best when I follow my gut instinct.

[bullwinkle428]

30. You've posted a number of pics

of yourself and your family (including the cats) here in the Lounge, and you've always struck me as a totally down-to-earth, modest, even humble person, so I can't imagine where she's coming from at all with her opinion! :wtf: I think I'm a fairly typical male, so my opinion can't be too far off from the norm!

[Kerrytravelers]

31. Thank you for that.

You know, I looked at myself in the mirror and I just don't see what the problem is.

In the past, I've felt she has been personal in her comments to me. This is just another example. Unfortunately, it's a small number of employees and I don't know anyone well enough to find out how she treats others. I've just been documenting the incidents as they occur should something come up. And since I work from home, I really don't see her or even communicate with her that often.

[bullwinkle428]

35. If I recall, I think you've mentioned in a post sometime back

that she was kind of a pain to deal with. I've been working in the "corporate world" for nearly 20 years, and every so often, you just run into people that are just difficult to deal with, even when you're bending over backwards to find some kind of common ground. Of course, the worst-case scenario is when they're your direct supervisor! I had two department managers in a row that were like that; both ended up getting demoted/moved into other positions where eventually, one was fired and the other quit, so I was either tenacious, or just plain too apathetic to look for another job!

[Kerrytravelers]

42. You do recall correctly. She is the very one.

[lildreamer316]

32. "Too revealing " is code for "I'm jealous of your endowment".

Trust the stripper, I know of what I speak.
Sorry you are having to deal with this.

[Kerrytravelers]

44. And really, I'm not that big at all. Apparently I have a couple of shirts that

fall just so. However, I've managed to go other months without being "revealing" so I think it's just her b.s.

[undeterred]

33. oh good grief

the only thing worse I heard was this:

A well endowed fundamentalist christian woman who was also an interpreter for the deaf was signing the service to her congregation, which had a lot of deaf people in it. Her husband, who she was divorcing, said she liked signing in church so she could show off her breasts to the congregation. She felt pretty humiliated by it. Also, interpreters are supposed to wear dark colored tops so its easier for deaf people to watch their hands- her husband said she was just wearing black to be slutty. :shrug:

[Kerrytravelers]

45. Maybe these fundy fruitcakes raised my supervisor.

I never took her for a prudish fundy, but I also would not have thought she would be so unkind to me the first moment I met her. Guess I was wrong.

[Jimbo S]

34. Next staff meeting show up in a burqua.

[Kerrytravelers]

46. That might make her very happy!

[Connonym]

36. It's definitely not your clothes

It's your figure. I'm sort of busty also and any time you wear something that doesn't hide the fact that you are well endowed there are going to be people who look at you and think slut. It's because of their own dirty minds of course and totally their problem and not yours. I used to fall into that trap and feel like I had to hide in baggy shirts. Now that I'm old I no longer give a shit what people think. I'm glad you figured that out at a young age. You are totally fine.

[Kerrytravelers]

47. The irony is, I'm really not that busty. There are plenty of people there much more endowed than I.

There is just something about me. I dunno. :shrug:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

37. Completely off the subject, but I love your hair.

And Nothing you have on in either of those pictures is revealing or slutty. You're nipping in the bottom picture, but you can't control that. You're obviously wearing a bra. I wouldn't worry about the whole thing. Don't feel like a whore. It's their problem, not yours.
Duckie

[Kerrytravelers]

48. Thanks! I use to hate it and pull it straight all the time. Now, I'm too lazy to go through all that

effort and have grown to actually kind of like my curls. If I recall correctly, you have curls, too!

[YellowRubberDuckie]

55. I do...But I pay a lot of money for them.

:evilgrin: I have gotten keeping them going for a year down to a science, and it's so freaking easy. They're so low maintenance, but it's becoming time for another curling. My last perm was last April.
Duckie

[crim son]

40. Here. Not only did I feel like a whore, I was one.

He was with me to make his estranged wife jealous and that's it. I'd rather be you!

[Kerrytravelers]

49. Oh wow. Now that is bad.

Why are people so intentionally cruel? I just don't get it. I may be a bit of a doormat (and, the way I felt today, perhaps a bit of a mattress :eyes:) but I just don't have it in me to be so unkind. I just can't be that way to other people. I learned in first grade that warm fuzzies are nicer than cold pricklies!

[u4ic]

43. Of course you are!

We can see your wrists! :o

[Kerrytravelers]

50. Shame on me! I should have known!

:rofl:

[idgiehkt]

51. my feeling about this is that it isn't about clothes

Hi Kerrytravelers. I'm sure you are in bed by now, but I think this is office politics, that's what it sounds like to me, more than clothes. I think that probably your reaction to this is what matters because you are probably going to be watched by the interested parties. Someone may just be jealous of your work performance. I hope you won't let it affect how you feel about yourself; instead, just play it smart by being non-reactive and following their guidelines to the letter (while documenting everything that happens, of course). If they see they can't rattle you they might give up. :hug:
I think you are right about the b.s. way it was presented, too. I think it's wrong to pass the buck like that and say 'someone complained'. Because it leaves you curious and paranoid about who and that could result in tension later on. I hope it sorts itself out soon.

[Kerrytravelers]

52. It's like you read my mind. This is exactly what I am thinking.

To me, it's more funny because it's so pathetic than anything to become obsessed over.

But believe me, I have been documenting this particular person since day one!

:hi:

[idgiehkt]

53. good for you

I can't count how many times I wish I'd gone to the trouble to document stuff. I am learning so much lately about listening to that little voice in my gut, it never fails me if I will just listen. Good luck with this, I hate dealing with that crazy office garbage but it seems like there is one bad apple in every office. :hug:

[mark414]

54. smart, sweet, sophisticated,

and beautiful. most definitely not a whore.

:loveya:

B-)

[Kerrytravelers]

57. Thank you very much.

Now that a few days have passed, Mr. kt and I have decided that this is simply her attempt at intimidating me. I'm not changing a thing. If she wants to write me up, go ahead, but my rebuttal will include photographs that will show how silly she is behaving. I doubt she'll want to take it that far.

[Elidor]

56. I hope this doesn't sound provacative, but-

I think someone on the staff has boob envy. There's definitely some feelings being sorted out. Your necklines are indeed very modest, but someone wants you to completely hide the fact that you have breasts. Someone who apparently doesn't have much trouble hiding their own.

There's my psychologist impersonation. I make no claims to factual accuracy. That'll be 25 cents.

[Kerrytravelers]

58. I completely agree. This is her issue- not mine.

And I'm not going to let her intimidate or manipulate me. She really needs to grow up and act like an adult.

Thanks!

[bridgit]

59. Kt, i know & understand the hurt feelings (been there), but i'm here to tell you...

there's something wrong with the inside of her head/people's heads one way or the other in that you look glorious to me :hi:

"(Perhaps she liked what she saw and is in the process of sorting out her feelings.)" i like the way you think ;)

[Kerrytravelers]

60. Thanks.

I was a bit taken aback by her comments, as they were so out of the blue. At the staff meeting just a few days earlier, she had mentioned the dress code in that we need to wear the company polo when representing the company at outside events, such as proctoring state exams. However, when people asked if there have been dress code violations, she emphatically said "Oh, no, not at all. This isn't about anything in particular, just a reminder to wear your polos at the state testing.' Then, a few days later, I am "revealing." But, according to her, it's ok if I wear a concert t-shirt (I had on a U2 shirt,) jeans and flip-flops when I go on a home visit. I was dressed down because I was only dropping off something at her house (we all work from home.) So, I can wear a concert t-shirt, but not a shirt as shown above. I can wear flip-flops, and that is considered ok? :eyes: Oh, please.

I also read out dress code. It only said appropriate dress for the occasion. it never specified anything. And keep in mind, with both shirts shown above, I also had a sweater on that is loose and baggy.

*sigh* I can't stand manipulative people.

[Skittles]

62. no way in hell could I wear that first shirt to work

it is not professional; that being said, there is nothing "whorish" about the design of either shirt

[Kerrytravelers]

65. Depends on what your work is, I suppose. And with a sweater, it is fine for my profession.

I'm hardly working in the corporate world. I work from home and go to informal staff meetings once a month in the home of a co-worker. Everyone wears jeans and t-shirts. When we're in the home of families, we have a designated polo shirt to wear. The shirt is fine, the problem lies with my coworker and her need to play passive-aggressive games with me.

I didn't include a picture with the seater because it was in the wash at the time of this picture and, if truth be told, the shirt was in the top of my hamper. I threw it on for the picture.

[Guava Jelly]

63. Sounds like someone is jealous of you.

You dress fine.
You are very attractive and have a nice figure from what i can see.
It has to be jealousy.

[Kerrytravelers]

66. I think this co-worker is simply trying to be passive-aggressive and intimidating.

Next time, it will be something else.

[JNelson6563]

64. You know what you need?

A HAZMAT suit for when you meet with this jealous boss of yours.

You're young and beautiful, fressh-faced with gorgeous smile. I'd wager it's jealousy.

You go girl! :toast:

Julie

[Kerrytravelers]

67. Wouldn't that be funny? I can just picture her expression!

:wow:

[Redstone]

68. Somebody's jealous.

Redstone

[Kerrytravelers]

70. Somebody has been rude to me since day one. I'm thinking this is just one more instance of that.

And lucky her, I document everything. This weekend, Mr. kt and I took photos of everything I've worn to the staff meetings. (We didn't go too out of our way, just as we were folding the clothes from the laundry.) Anyway, it will be interesting to see if she continues this or if she finds something new to fuss about next month.

[Courtesy Flush]

69. I have a WD-40 shirt. Is that okay? n/t

[Kerrytravelers]

71. I don't know what a WD-40 shirt is?

It's not about any logos, since other people wear t-shirts with logos. It's apparently because I'm showing too much skin. Also note, the shirt comes below my belt, so no mid-riff is showing.

[Shell Beau]

72. If that is whorish, I must be really loose!

That is stupid! I wear low cut shirts from time to time and us big chested gals can't help how they fit us! You look perfectly cute and wholesome! :)

[Kerrytravelers]

73. Thank you! And what I wear to staff meetings isn't even that low cut!

Personally, upon reflection, I don't think anyone complained. I think this particular lady simply has an issue with me. I have always gotten that vibe, you know what I mean? And Since December, I'm been going to staff meetings and seeing what everyone else wore. Either she comments on me being too dressed up, and then when I dress down, I'm too "revealing." :eyes: It's always something. I'm just going to continue being me and acting in accordance to the guidelines and what I see everyone else doing. And documenting. Lots of documenting.

And thanks, by the way, to you and everyone who has reaffirmed my suspicions! I needed my DU pals!