My dog has a penis but he still gets lost in the woods.

[undeterred]

Or maybe I'm the one who's lost. :shrug:

[Deja Q]

1. But if it falls, does it make a noise?

Uh, the tree that is - after the dog's done his business by it?

And why do dogs do those things near trees and objects that look like trees? Even if it's stout, short, and painted super bright red so it cannot be mistaken as any form of tree ever created?!

[undeterred]

2. My dog prefers peeing on political signs to fire hydrants

Of course I live in Madison, which is a political city, so all the dogs are very political and leave p-mail on the yard signs instead of on the fire hydrants.