Hubby is drafting a will, he says, cuz he's having a colonoscopy this Friday.

[CTyankee]

I mean, the man is freaking out. First, he wouldn't read the info packet that come from the dr.'s office ("I was hoping you'd read it and tell me what it says."). Then, when I refuse to read it for him he says he'll have to read it after a couple of glasses of wine. OK. So this morning he announces the will thing. Geez.

So I got him his chicken broth, lime jello, apple juice and his phospho stuff. He says he is steeling himself. I try a little joke about how his doc only sees him as an a_hole. That didn't get a laugh.

Anybody got any one liners for the poor guy? I'm driving him to and from his appointment and will try to jolly him up a little bit...

[rug]

1. Tell him to eat his jello and be a big boy.

[Kutjara]

2. Tell him that, for all the good colonoscopes do,...

...you might as well shove them up your ass. <ba-bish>

Seriously, though, having a colonoscopy is a very sensible health precaution. The vast majority turn out fine. The rest usually find some benign, easily treatable condition like polyps. Only a tiny proportion find the Big C, and most of these are cureable if found early enough (my mother in law is a case in point).

[GoneOffShore]

3. They'll give him pictures afterward.

The worst of the procedure is the prep for it. I never want to drink ginger ale again.

[CTyankee]

4. Well, my colonoscopy was for diagnostic purposes as I was having lots of discomfort.

Turned out I had severe diverticulitis. But his is just a screening. I told him he would have no pain but he knew I did so he thinks that will happen to him. I explained that I had pain because the scope was being dragged over inflamed tissue, fer chrissake, which is not the case with him.

[CTyankee]

9. I think the pictures would freak him out again! I never saw mine but

I have this thing about seeing the inside of my body: I think it is amazing! I just love those doc's illustrations of the human body on posters on the walls in their offices. I always ask where my particular problem is so I can find the part.

Maybe I'm nuts but it just fascinates me...

[GoneOffShore]

10. They put me out for mine.

Little anesthetic, counted to 2 and the next thing I knew they were telling me to wake up.

When I met Sammy the Sigmodoscope it was different.

[philosophie_en_rose]

5. I don't blame him for freaking out.

It's an uncomfortable process all around.

A will might be a little unnecessary for a colonoscopy, but it's never a bad idea to have a current will.

[CTyankee]

7. I have been after him for AGES to do his will! and now this...

I tell ya, it frustrates me. When I did my will, I told him how wonderful the process was, not frightening at all, and that he will feel so much better getting it done.

Same thing with the colonoscopy. He won't have the discomfort I had and I think he knows that in his mind. But his fear is just kinda overcoming that knowledge...

[idgiehkt]

6. !!!!

"the doc only sees him as an asshole"

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[SPKrazy]

8. Let Him Do It...

he should have a will anyhow, and maybe it will ease his anxiety to have it.

No procedure is 100% safe, but the likelihood of the colonoscopy killing him is pretty low.

Humor his anxiety...

:shrug:

[CTyankee]

11. You know, you are right. Maybe it will get him to start the process.

I didn't do my will until a good friend's husband had a serious illness diagnosed, was sent to the hospital and had complete organ failure and died 3 weeks later after being on life support. I also had another friend who got hit by a car and sustained horrible head injuries but didn't die and was in a nursing home until the effect of all his injuries caused an infection, and he died (this was 2 years after his accident). Those two incidents made me realize that life is fragile indeed and we all need to get our affairs in order...

[SPKrazy]

12. Yeah, and he may be worried about the outcome of the procedure

but before that happens he will be worried about the PREP for the procedure... he needs to read that shit (no pun intended) because he is the one that will have to do the bowel prep and he will be praying for the end if he's like me before that is all done!

:hi:

[CTyankee]

15. I tried not to alarm him about the prep. Mine went well, actually, so

I tried to let him know it was something he could survive.

But I will fill him in on some of the finer points of the prep so he knows what to expect.

As I said, I think he was so freaked by my experience (which was specific to my own problem) that he sees his experience as being that way. I have tried to calm him down about that, though...

[SPKrazy]

17. I've Had To Have A Couple Of Them

in fact it is time prolly for another one.

the prep for me is like the end of it all... I think my vasovagal response is so strong that the prep leaves me feeling like passing out every time I've done it.

sorry, probably TMI there :rofl:


good luck for him and you

:hi:

[trof]

13. I chickened out. And don't let him read this.

I was scheduled for one several months ago.
Why?
I'm 65 and have never had one.
That's it.
No symptoms or other indications.

I took a quiz at RealAge.
http://www.realage.com/health_guides/Checkup_Checklist/fs_cc.asp?topic=14
The results said the ONLY reason to get a colonoscopy was my age.
And that I should REALLY consider the risks involved.

The doc explained the risks involved.
Perforated bowel being the main one.
"But this VERY rarely happens."
OK.

Then we heard about a young woman we know.
Her intestine was punctured by the colonoscope.
Evidently unbeknown by the doc.
A few hours after getting home from the hospital she felt "rotten".
Got the standard "take 2 aspirin and call us in the morning".
The next morning she's in shock.
Taken to hospital by ambulance.
Massive infection.
She's in a wheelchair. Can't walk. Undergoing 'therapy'.
That was 6 MONTHS AGO.

I did the fecal occult 'smear-your-poop-on-the-cardboard' thingy and there was nothing out of the ordinary.
No indication of blood in my poop.

Screw it. I figure that's good enough.
I don't like the odds.
See below:

Bowel Perforation During Colonoscopy
Bowel perforation injuries during a colonoscopy result in a hole in the bowel. On average, this colonoscopy complication occurs in 1 in 1,700 procedures. If procedures are performed during the colonoscopy to treat any problems, or if you already have significant colon or rectal disease, this risk is increased. For example, if a polyp is removed, the rate of perforation complications is about 1 in 700-800 procedures.

The size, location, and seriousness of the hole can vary, and each colonoscopy perforation has different treatment options. Small perforations often seal themselves off, so they may only require a few days in the hospital with close observation. More serious bowel perforations may require a surgery and possible repair or removal of the damaged area. Rarely, a colostomy bag may need to be placed temporarily or permanently after the damaged bowel is removed. Loss of life is also a possible complication of serious bowel perforations, but this is very rare.
http://digestive-system.emedtv.com/colonoscopy/bowel-perforation-during-colonoscopy.html

[CTyankee]

18. Well, reading that I realized that I was in that category of more risk!

I was having the procedure as a diagnostic for a problem. It turned out I had severe diverticulitis. That made the procedure itself very uncomfortable for me, despite the increase of drugs during the procedure. However, they did find 2 polyps and removed them. They were benign but I get the feeling that they think they might become malignant. I was told to have a follow up after 3 years. This was when I was 65 years old (your age).

Since I would rather experience the rather unpleasant prep than experience a death by colon cancer, I will have the follow up test. I urge you to rethink your decision. The treatment for colon cancer has to be worse than the colonoscopy, right?

[trof]

21. 1. I don't have a problem*. 2. I still don't like the odds. 3...

Did you do the fecal occult test beforehand and if so, did that indicate any problems?
Thanks.

* This probably comes under the category of Too Much Information, but my bowels are tip-top and as regular as clockwork.
I eat plenty of roughage and just never have a problem with constipation or anything GI related.

[CTyankee]

30. What you said is what hubby said, almost exactly....

Sorry to say, but what you said is not proof positive that you won't have a problem. I said the same thing as I thought I was superior to my mother. She was a couch potato and I ate a great diet and exercised regularly, so I thought I would NEVER get what she got (diverticulitis). When I did I was surprised. I am humbled now.

Please don't get complacent. It is not a big deal to have the test. Knowledge is power, remember. You can do more with knowledge than you can with ignorance, any day.

Please try...

[Midlodemocrat]

14. My husband had one. It's really a big nothing.

They will get him in the room, undress and give him some Versed so that he won't remember a thing.

He won't feel any pain at all and he won't be uncomfortable after the procedure.

The whole idea of it sounds so awful, people do freak out about it, but reassure him, it will be no worse than an x-ray.

And, you will be able to have a ton of fun with him on the ride home if the Versed hasn't totally worn off.

My husband got in the car and said "Whose car is this?" :rofl:

[CTyankee]

20. I will keep reinforcing this idea. No pain, nice drugs, little sleepypoo time.

I guess this is not the time to treat him as an adult...

It's ok. I get it. And it's fine.

[Kali]

24. nooooo

don't say ....... sleepyPOO!!!! :rofl:

[CTyankee]

36. Okay "sleepy, doo" like the commercial for the volunteer guy who is Asian.

YOu know, the one where he brings his wife breakfast in bed and calls her "sleepydoo" and she discovers that his double is in bed with her and freaks out. I LOVE that commercial!

[JohnnyLib2]

16. Best little drug induced sleep I've had for decades.

The rest is someone else's problem. Just do it.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

19. I agree with Southpawkicker...

And you might want to do the same thing, just to make it a shared project. Don't wait until things are scary to take care of business like that. :hug:

[hedgehog]

22. He's not going to die.

It's just that the prep will make him wish he were dead!

[crim son]

23. Been there, done that.

As long as he has fluid in his stomach before he drinks the prep liquid, he'll be fine. The worst part is when the nurses etc. show up wearing space suits to protect themselves from gawd knows what. I actually laughed out loud when I saw that (before the drugs were injected).

[trof]

25. A general observation on medical screening:

Part of this VERY personal opinion is based on personal observations and part on conversations with physician friends.

There are MANY more screening/testing processes in existence than in our parents' generation.
And that's mostly good.

But, unhappily, many are now 'recommended' as a 'CYA' procedure for physicians and medical facilities.

Of course health insurance companies and MediCare are also in the act. Usually on the other side. Trying to either add to the bottom line (insurance companies) or cut costs (MediCare).
And many are done just because they're there.
Like Clinton's impeachment, "Why? Because we COULD."

Two examples:
1. I smoke cigarettes. Shame on me. OK.
But I make sure a chest X-ray is part of my annual physical exam.
My doc says "MediCare won't pay for this unless you have symptoms."
She's a sweetie. I can take a hint.
"I've had a persistent cough for a few days."
(Not true)
"OK, I'll schedule you for a chest X-ray."
Yes, I guess I'm 'gaming' the system.
MediCare does that to you.

2. My daughter is pregnant.
She's 35.
That's the age when amniocentisis is recommended.
She says if she'd only gotten pregnant a few months earlier, she'd have 'made the cut' and not have to do it.
She took a blood test to see if she should have the amniocentisis procedure done. Nope.
Also, the test indicated that she had the physiognomy of a 20 year old.
The girl is IN SHAPE!
Amniocentisis carries a 1 in 200 chance of spontaneous abortion.
Just from having the test.
Not good odds.
She elected not to have it done.
We concur absolutely.

I'm just saying, take a long hard look at why you want to have a certain medical procedure done and what the risk factor is.
Peace.

[CTyankee]

27. Thanks for that! Good to know.

He has excellent health coverage because he is a city worker covered by a union in New Haven, a very liberal city. He knows his health coverage is excellent, it is just that this thing has him freaked out. I'm listening to his problems with it and trying to calmly answer each one. One day at a time...

[CTyankee]

34. Of course, risk is a big factor to be taken not lightly.

But with colonoscopy, I just ask myself, "Do I Want to be fighting the colonoscopy or colon cancer?" AFter all, when the colonoscopy is over, it is over. You get your life back real quick. Colon cancer, on the other hand, is a whole diffent situation.

I think I know the answer...

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

26. Don't rent the movie "Sublime" right before a colonoscopy...n/t

[Skittles]

28. you want I should give him a solid ass-kicking, CTyankee?

it might induce some needed numbness

[CTyankee]

29. Sometimes I feel like it! But no, I love him too much.

He's a good guy. I try to get him better and sometimes I succeed!

Thanks for the offer!

[LynneSin]

31. A will is definately a good thing to have

My father died without a will (and from Lung Cancer, so he was pretty young in life).

A will makes sure the right people gets the money and less ends up in Uncle Sam's pockets

[petronius]

32. I had one a year ago - I've had haircuts that were more painful

Seriously, the procedure is nothing; good luck to both of you...

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

33. What I said to the doctor when they were ready fo start mine:

"I'm ready for my closeup."

Yeah, they've NEVER heard THAT one before! :rofl:

[MnFats]

35. demand fentanyl and versid

you won't mind a bit.
i speak from experience.
when i saw that garden hose (sorry but that's what it looks like) i just about freaked and ran down the hall naked.
but then they administered these potent (wAY) potent drugs and it was like:
"oh, hell, do whatever you like."

[CTyankee]

38. Thanks. I won't tell him about the "garden hose" deal.

As I've said, the anesthesia was not effective enough for me as I had an underying condition but I have told him that my experience is DIFFERENT. Nevertheless, he is freaked.

I will keep reinforcing what you said. DRUGS, man.

[graywarrior]

37. I feel his pain.

He should join in on my and bi_baby's hypochondriac threads.

tell him he just inspired me to get a mammogram.

[CTyankee]

39. Hey, great! Can I come onyour hypochondriac thread for my upcoming diverticulitis surgery?

It's laparoscopic, tho. Does that count? I am hoping to get SOME sympathy for it!!!

[graywarrior]

40. Sure. We're pathetic, though. We've discussed coffin make-up, etc.

[CTyankee]

41. Haven't given that one any thought. However, I am into all sorts of

funny stuff about surgeries (nothing tragic tho). I just think my surgery is a big joke, altho perfectly justified. I love the idea of them cutting out an inch of my offending colon and resecting it immediately. I call it snip and tuck. Love it...

[Texasgal]

42. Tell him he will be the

cleanest asshole you know!! :)