Man Says He Doesn't Have Sex With His Monkey

[matcom]

<snip>

The head of a Plano school district facility that houses exotic animals said Monday he fears for his professional future there after comments he made were reported in a local newspaper.

The Plano Star Courier quoted Jim Dunlap as saying a pet owner was having sexual relations with a rhesus macaque monkey seized last month by authorities. The head of Plano ISD's Living Materials Center said the pet owner, Bobby Crawford Jr., sent a box of toys for Darwin the monkey to play with while being held there. In that box was an audiotape.

“After listening to the tape, Dunlap said Crawford made references to Darwin and himself engaging in mutual stimulation,” the story read.

Mr. Crawford said there was nothing sexually suggestive on the tape, and called Mr. Dunlap's initial conclusion “ridiculous.”

“I don’t have sex with my monkey. That’s absolute crap,” Mr. Crawford said. “Why would I do that?"

In an interview Monday with The Dallas Morning News, Mr. Dunlap said he’s been going through “holy hell” over the story.

“I’ve been expecting any moment to get a phone call from my supervisor saying, 'You’ve been put on administrative leave,' or from somebody saying, 'I’m suing,'” Mr. Dunlap said.

Mr. Dunlap added he made a “gross error” and that his interpretation of the tape was just that - his and no one else’s.

http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/032707dnmetplanomonkey.25c130e.html

[rug]

1. Why would the monkey say it if it wasn't true?

[Blue-Jay]

2. Chapelle on fucking monkeys:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ETKhGGYSDZA

[Little Wing]

3. hhaha I came here just to post that

farker?

[Blue-Jay]

6. Of course!

Since 2002.

[Little Wing]

9. Totally?

:D

[Blue-Jay]

18. On & off.

[underpants]

4. Oh those cute little pet names love birds give each other

:loveya:

[racaulk]

5. Must... resist... making... joke... about... masturbation...

:evilgrin:

[Mad_Dem_X]

7. Well, as John Lennon once sang:

"Everybody's got something to hide, except for me and my monkey."

[Initech]

15. All together now!

"Everybody's got something to hide, except for me and my monkey..."

:rofl:

[AllegroRondo]

8. so what does he do when the monkey misbehaves?

:shrug:

[edbermac]

10. He just spanks his monkey.

:evilgrin:

[GoneOffShore]

11. May I touch the monkey?

:rofl:

:party:

[trof]

12. I'd say the same thing. Wouldn't you?

[matcom]

13. I have on many an occasion

:rofl:

[Initech]

14. I could probably make about 10,000 jokes relating to this post.

But in the interest of good taste, I will not.

:rofl:

[matcom]

16. c'mon!

you are using TASTE as your excuse? :7

[Shakespeare]

17. TOUCH MY MONKEY!

Touch him, LOVE him! Liebe meine abschmicke!

[RetroLounge]

19. They KNEW he didn't have sex with the monkey

They just wanted to hear him deny it... :rofl:

RL