A beatnik walks into a diner:

[BurtWorm]

Beatnik: Hey, lady, can I have a slice of apple pie?
Waitress: The apple pie is gone.
Beatnik: Dig it! Give me two slices!


:smoke:

[NightWatcher]

1. (snapping fingers in appreciation)

[BurtWorm]

2. A man who owned a hand-operated rotisserie was barbecuing a chicken when a beatnik walked by.

"I don't want to bug you, dude... but your music has stopped and your monkey is on fire."

:smoke:

[NightWatcher]

3. holy crap, that's a good one

it's going into my email lists

[BurtWorm]

9. I just invented a brand new beatnik joke.

You may need this site to get hep to it:

http://members.aol.com/gethep/jive.html

Beatnik goes into a fish store. “Mash me a fin, man”

Fish store clerk looks puzzled at first, then cuts off a Mako shark fin, purees it, puts it in a cup, hands it to the beatnik and says, “That’ll be five dollars.”

Beatnik walks out the door: “Solid, dad! Now I can grease my old lady for the smokes she collared.”

[Squatch]

17. Now I can eat my SO for the smokes she took?

[BurtWorm]

19. I didn't say it was a good joke.

:crazy:

[Lil Missy]

4. Exercise for seniors

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of
room at each side.

With a 5-lb potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out
from your sides and hold them there as long as you can.

Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.

Each day, you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit
longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato sacks. Then try 50-lb
potato sacks and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a
100-lb potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than
a full minute. (I'm at this level)

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.

[BurtWorm]

7. ....

:spray:

[Lil Missy]

8. I also do crunches every morning....

up, down, up down, ...

then I do the other eyelid

[Bunny]

5. HAHA!

:thumbsup:

:hi: BurtWorm!

[BurtWorm]

6. Did that send you, sister?

:hi:

You're hep to the lingo.

[trof]

10. Cool, daddyo.

Slip me some skin, man.
Those new vines yer wearin'?
Like yer shades, too.

[BurtWorm]

11. Kopasetic, Jackson.

I'd really be swingin' with a sky piece on my dome.

:smoke:

[Pierre.Suave]

12. I had to google

to figure out what the hell a Beatnik was.

[BurtWorm]

13. What a square!

;)

[trof]

21. That's SO Clyde.

[JitterbugPerfume]

14. I used to love my black leotards

made me look cool with my dads great big ole white shirt

[BurtWorm]

15. You must have been a righteous queen in those threads.

:hi:

[JitterbugPerfume]

16. yes I was

daddy-o:hi:

[AwakeAtLast]

18. "playing bongo drums very fast"

I'm imagining the Fonzie version of a Beatnik :D

[BurtWorm]

20. I always think of Ric Ocasek and Pia Zadora in Hairspray.