spanish speakers, a question about etiquette ?

[pitohui]

you can PM me if this question is totally lame

i studied spanish in high school and have only used it since in tourist/travel situations

i am trying to brush up and notice that in the materials i've been using that there is a lot of use of the informal tu, the BBC web site even said that in some countries, i believe they mentioned uruguay, everyone used the informal

this is not what i was taught at all, my teacher was from honduras and quite formal, you used usted unless you knew the person well, but this was quite a long time ago now

is it really true that tu is pretty much indiscriminantly used with people of your own age even if you don't know them well? or what?

i don't want to offend!

thanks

[pitohui]

1. heh

at least i'm not the only person who doesn't know

[Rabrrrrrr]

2. You should use the more formal "Sie" form, or affix the honorable -san suffix.

:P

Sorry, I don't know shit about Mexican, Puerto Rican, Honduran, or any of that family of Spanish-derived languages. Nor do I know anything about Spanish, except that I like the sound of it so much more than the sound of Mexican.

[WindRavenX]

3. Im studying japanese right now-- specifically honorific forms

Nt

[Rabrrrrrr]

4. Good! Than you can be of no help to Pitohui, too!!

:P

[pitohui]

6. i have japanese speaking family members

so in an emergency i guess i have that one covered, although i can't do much more than mumble domo

[pitohui]

5. i figure the german or japanese speakers in south/central america will also know spanish

after a certain point i just have to rely on sign language i guess!

[Celeborn Skywalker]

20. I have one issue with your post.

What you call Mexican, Puerto Rican etc. is not different enough from Castilian to be considered even a different dialect much less a different language. It is simply regional variations and accents, much like UK English compared to American English. I do agree, though, that Castilian is the prettiest sounding.

[Kali]

7. I was taught the same. I probably use usted too long, but I don't think it

offends anyone (Mexico). You can also go by how the conversations you have flow, and if in real doubt USE the question to start a conversation.

[Common Sense Party]

8. I ALWAYS use Usted with someone I do not yet know, except

with children.

Not everyone follows the same rules, but they will respect you for it. Yeah, it's another conjugation to learn, but the respect it shows is priceless.

[slj0101]

9. My spanish prof in college,

said that almost no one in Latin America uses the formal "you" (usted), because it's considered rather stuffy to do so. Take that for what it's worth. I'm not sure personally, because I've never been south of the border.

[Common Sense Party]

10. Not in my experience. Usted was almost always used until trust or

familiarity was developed.

When there's a major age difference--a 60 year old speaking to a 19-year old, for example--the older person would tutear.

[slj0101]

11. I see. He may have meant among younger-aged folks.

I can see how it would be considered condescending.

[Common Sense Party]

13. Oh, I should have been more clear. Yes, among teens and

young adults, they'll usually use tu, even with someone they just met, if they're in approximately the same age range.

Among old fogies like me (30s and up), especially in professional settings, or if I meet someone at church, I'll default to Usted until I know the person better. I'm not a native Spanish speaker, but I believe it's pretty common throughout the Spanish-speaking world.

[pitohui]

15. that's what i'm encountering in some of the lesson plans

it is latin american spanish i'm talking about, however, it seemed to me on my previous visits that most people were still using "usted" -- i'm guessing it is because i'm older though

some of these online lesson plans may be aimed at the british or european "gap year" traveler and hence assumes a much younger traveler

[slj0101]

19. It's been many years, but if I recall,

I think he said it also depends on social class, but overall folks in Latin America are more open to strangers than other cultures are (including ours).

[idgiehkt]

12. typical

my first year teacher was from Majorca and my second year teacher was an American peace corps volunteer and there were significant differences in what they taught, and I vaguely remember that 2nd person was one of the differences, but it's been so long I have no idea who said what. If I remember right the American teacher wanted us to use usted. But that's been 20 years so I don't know the answer, even though I can empathize.

[Truthiness Inspector]

14. Hopefully this will help

but when I travel, I use the same rule I would in English. Would you address the person next to you as "sir" or "Mrs. Whatever"? If so, then use usted in espanol.

If you are shooting the shit with someone in a bar who is your age, then I'd say use "tu."

Using the more formal is show of respect, generally towards elders or those with whom you have a formal relationship (and always towards unfamiliar elders in my book).

If all else fails, use "usted" if you are in doubt, and the other person will either laugh and suggest you use "tu" or go along with "usted."

[pitohui]

16. yeah this is what i've been doing -- thanks to you and to all who replied

i just wondered if there was something more i was missing, since i'm not as socially adept as the average person


thanks

[malta blue]

17. Always use Usted if you are not on familiar terms with

the individual.

Native Spanish Speaker here...always use Usted.

[pitohui]

18. will do -- and thanks!

perhaps being from the south or just perhaps just being older i'm a little more comfortable using the formal when in any doubt at all

just checking to be sure that i wasn't way behind the times or something