The 485,460-Calorie Messiah (Milk Chocolate Jesus)

[bicentennial_baby]

Man cannot live on bread alone, but if he were to consume Cosimo Cavallaro's newest creation he could live off of Jesus -- for approximately eight months. An oddball artist known for his "eclectic" forms of expression, Cavallaro's latest contribution to culture is a six-foot tall, anatomically-correct milk-chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ. His confectionary Christ is made with more than 200 pounds of chocolate, containing approximately 480,000 calories. (The artistic endeavor titled, "My Sweet Lord," can also give you 3,240 percent of the Vitamin A you need each day.)

Cavallaro is an artist fond of working with food; his most infamous installation up until now was his exhibition in 1999, which involved covering Room 114 of New York City's Washington Jefferson Hotel in melted mozzarella cheese. If consumed, the junk food Jesus would fill you with 32,000 grams of fat, which is enough to insulate you for well over a year. This Jesus is sure to pack on the pounds, but is this art really food for thought...or just a publicity stunt passing as art?

Just in time for Easter, the high-calorie Heavenly Father will exhibit on April 1st at The Lab gallery at the Roger Smith Hotel in New York. Creative Director Matt Semler says, ''The sign of any great artist is how their work affects the observer." Looking at the Lord, viewers may be moved to muse about their own mortality: Death by chocolate? Hypertension? Or atherosclerosis? Perhaps Cavallaro's intention is to warn the overzealous that when it comes to faith or food -- be it Christ or Cadbury -- indulgence should be avoided at all costs. Or maybe it's simply for shock value -- he wants us to stand there and salivate while suppressing the temptation to nibble on Christ's toes.

http://www.esquire.com/the-side/opinion/chocolatejesus032807

:crazy:

[Fenris]

1. Don't go to church on Sunday

Don't get on my knees to pray
Don't memorize the books of the Bible
I got my own special way
But I know Jesus loves me
Maybe just a little bit more

I fall on my knees every Sunday
At Zerelda Lee's candy store

Well it's got to be a chocolate Jesus
Make me feel good inside
Got to be a chocolate Jesus
Keep me satisfied

Well I don't want no Abba Zabba
Don't want no Almond Joy
There ain't nothing better
Suitable for this boy
Well it's the only thing
That can pick me up
Better than a cup of gold
See only a chocolate Jesus
Can satisfy my soul

When the weather gets rough
And it's whiskey in the shade
It's best to wrap your savior
Up in cellophane
He flows like the big muddy
But that's ok
Pour him over ice cream
For a nice parfait

Well it's got to be a chocolate Jesus
Good enough for me
Got to be a chocolate Jesus
Good enough for me

Well it's got to be a chocolate Jesus
Make me feel good inside
Got to be a chocolate Jesus
Keep me satisfied

[GOPisEvil]

2. Anatomically correct?

There are certain body parts I will not eat.

[bicentennial_baby]

3. Did you click for the pic?

:rofl:

[GOPisEvil]

5. Oh dear...

:scared::rofl:

[bicentennial_baby]

6. I"m glad to have enlightened you!

:rofl:

[BurtWorm]

42. Like "David," I hear, the sculptor forgot Jesus was Jewish.

But that can be fixed with a little nibbling.

[crim son]

4. Where's our Lord's loincloth?

:eyes:

[SPKrazy]

14. Hmmmm

No, you're right, there is NO LOINCLOTH

:wtf:

did they crucify people nekkid?

save money on loincloths

:rofl:

[Nicole]

20. Thanks for the visual.

NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SPKrazy]

29. Just Helping Out Nicole

figured everyone needed to see the loinclothless ChocoJesus

[Nicole]

33. I appreciate that.

You're so helpful. :P

[SPKrazy]

40. I am that and more...

:rofl:

[KitchenWitch]

7. That is (7 x the seven circles of hell) levels of wrong.

x(

[bicentennial_baby]

8. I hope I didn't offend you!

:o

:hi:

[KitchenWitch]

23. Oh hell no!

Takes a helluvalot to offend me!

:rofl:

[ghostsofgiants]

9. Mmm, sacrelicious.

[bicentennial_baby]

10. I knew you'd appreciate this!

:D

:hi:

[AlCzervik]

11. "Servings per container 1"?

[Rabrrrrrr]

12. I'd think the Son of God would have a bigger schwanstucker.

[SPKrazy]

15. Why? He don't even have to use it!

or maybe it miraculously GROWWWWWWWS!




:yoiks:

[Mad_Dem_X]

43. !

:spank: :spank: :spank:

[SPKrazy]

13. Hurl Hurl Hurl...All Hurl The Chocolate Jesus!

:puke: :puke: :puke:


IT HURTS BIBIBABY

[LynneSin]

36. Wait - serving side per container is '1 serving'

holy mother of god that's alot of chocolate for one serving

[idgiehkt]

16. Jesus is hung.

Wow.

[SeattleGirl]

17. I went into sugar shock just reading that...and the picture sent me

over the edge! :wow:

[WhollyHeretic]

18. Is it me or does jesus have a ponytail in that pic

kind of looks a bit like this guy

[NightWatcher]

19. Where's Jesus on a trailer hitch when you need him?

this is just a tad much, no

[WhollyHeretic]

21. .

[NightWatcher]

22. Excellent, Now it's an official picture thread

It's never complete until I see Jesus on a trailer hitch.
Thanks

[emad]

24. My Sweet Lord rumpus

Manhattan, NY - (Ass Mess): "Maybe they shoulda used carob!Helluva lot cheaper. No lacto-allergens, calorie-friendly, rich in organic nutrients. And unlikely to deprave.

"Just cos there's no loincloth don't mean nothin'. Some perv gonna break off the phallus? Gobble it up infront of six year olds? Says who? The Pope? He sure knows all about that!"
http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s2i16789

[Beer Snob-50]

25. All thils talk of Jesus being "hung"

reminds me of the comedian who talked about going to the gym so he could be ripped liked Jesus on the cross. I cannot look at a cross in church now without thinking about that. (I wish I could remember his name)

btw, it is lent people. three our fathers and three hail marys each of you or at least go and gargle with holy water!

[MissMillie]

26. I love that he called it "My Sweet Lord"

that's just perfect.

[RedStateShame]

35. I really want to see him, Lord, but it takes so long....

I posted the same thing in GD, but what the hell. Like there are enough George Harrison references...

[Beer Snob-50]

37. there are never enough george harrison references nt

[AwakeAtLast]

27. Ok, you just know someone's going to eat the ears first

:hide:

:evilgrin:

[Little Wing]

28. Chocolate Mohammed, of course, being the low-calorie option

:eyes:

[LynneSin]

30. Is that the Penis of Christ hanging there

oh my!

[Kutjara]

31. What the sweet chocolate Christ is that!?!?!

To paraphrase a character on "Rescue Me."

Still, this beats those tasteless communion wafers any day.

[Blue-Jay]

32. The power of Hershey compels you! The power of Hershey compels you!

[Mad_Dem_X]

44. LMAO!

:rofl: :headbang:

[Deep13]

34. Sweet Jesus!

Will he change water to hot cocoa?

Body of Christ, snack of heaven.

[BuelahWitch]

38. I've heard of Jesus Christ on a Cracker, but this is...

:freak: :wow: :scared: :yoiks:

[AllegroRondo]

39. Bet you cant eat just one!

[BarenakedLady]

41. Oh sweet Jesus

That's just so so so....

dunno.:shrug:

[Deep13]

45. Fundies are probably annoyed because it is not white chocolate. nt