Friends with benefits, but what happens, I wonder, when one of the friends

[raccoon]

acquires an S-O?

NOTE: I don't have a friend with benefits, now, I'm just WONDERING, that's all.

[ThomCat]

1. My friend with benefits became my gf.

:shrug:

[raccoon]

2. That's the best possible scenario! nt

[La Lioness Priyanka]

3. well then your friend w.benefit becomes just a friend.

atleast thats what happened with my friends with benefits when i met rockit.

[hippiechick]

4. ... in my case, we reverted to being 'just friends' ...

... and still talk almost daily.

He flirts with me but my reply is always that he's chosen a girlfriend now and I want that to work out for him, so he needs to shup with the dirty stuff.

[Serendipitous]

5. Or...

The "friend" now turns into a raging jealous freak, trying to sabotage the newly found relationship and turn all friends of both against them.

Not that it's happened to me or anything...

[raccoon]

6. I would imagine that scenario happens a lot of the time. nt

[La Lioness Priyanka]

8. then they werent much of a friend to begin with.

[Serendipitous]

12. I agree

Sometimes the "friends with benefits" is more of a guise and is really one "friend" trying to convince the other that it's more.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

14. i dont know about that. i suppose it depends. my friends w.benefits are really my friends

and were very happy for me when i met rockit. even though i did tell them it mean i can no longer provide benefits.

[Serendipitous]

17. I am sure it's not the rule. But, sometimes it happens.

[BuelahWitch]

7. I was asked to be a "friend with benefits" by someone who had an SO

I told him I wasn't comfortable sneaking around behind his gf's back and didn't want her harassing me if she found out. He got mad, kicked me off his MySpace friends and blocked me. :shrug:

[raccoon]

9. Good for you. He sounds like a real dip. nt

[AllegroRondo]

11. thats not a friend, thats an asshole

you're much better off leaving him alone.

[Kat45]

27. And I was asked to be a "friend with benefits" by the man I recently broke up with.

I couldn't believe that one! I broke up with him when I confronted him on my feeling that he was holding back and I found out he was holding back from having stronger feelings for me (for a completely selfish reason). Then a couple of weeks later he emails me to ask if we can be friends with benefits. I did not dignify his email with a response.

[SteppingRazor]

10. Then you're just friends with that person and hook up with your other friends w/b more frequently

:shrug:

[xchrom]

13. well for me -- it doesn't HAVE to change anything.

i'm not out to break any body up from their main squeeze -- so they can continue or not -- up to them.

if i acquire an SO -- well i'm not monogamous -- so again it's not a worry.

it's up to every one's comfort level.

[Deep13]

15. Where the hell was this practice when I was single??

:shrug:

[BuelahWitch]

18. What are you, 90?

This has been around at least as long as I've been dating (the early '80s) and probably since the '60s. It just wasn't called the same thing...

[Deep13]

20. HS class of '86.

Jesus, maybe I'm just repressed and didn't see it.

[BuelahWitch]

22. Or maybe you're just nice

And never said, "Oh, by the way, we're just friends, aren't we?" after you've been having sex for x many months. :pals:

[Deep13]

23. I can guarantee that what you described never happened...

...and never came close to happening.

[Jimbo S]

19. Same here

First heard of this concept just ten years ago.

[skygazer]

16. Depends on the relationship between those friends

I've had a couple of those friends with benefits deals (back in my day, that term didn't exist - I jokingly referred to them as fuckbuddies). They were always very clearly based on the idea that we were both alone, both lonely and not interested in becoming a couple. So when one of us did find someone to be partnered with, it was pretty simple.

Sometimes those situations fall together and one of the friends is actually hoping for more. I've seen those end badly.

So in my opinion, it all depends on honesty and communication which is key to any relationship.

[Connonym]

21. revert back to friends only

That's how it has worked with my FWB. The friends part is more imporant than the benefits part. But don't we all love benefits when we can get them?

[WCGreen]

24. It's almost a given that whenever benifits are inroduced...

it can only lead to bad things...

BTW, in my day, we just called FWB a fuck buddy...

[Q3JR4]

25. My friend with benefit already

had an S-O. In fact she was the one who set the whole thing up. That, of course, happened after they were married.

So, uh, anyway....

Yeah.

:yoiks:

[treestar]

26. Just skip the benefits

So you can really be friends.

Friends of the opposite sex are wonderful to have. And it is possible.

the 'benefits' screw it all up.

[S n o w b a l l]

28. It so depends on the people involved....

I think there has to be just the right amount of chemistry...not too much is the important thing. I have a few that have remained good friends and so I won't ever regret those. But, I've had had some horrible experiences as well.

One fell in love. I broke his heart & it ended with an email disparaging me for all my evil,selfish, user ways. One ended up stalking me, showing up at my house morning and night when I had someone else over, calling me at work with the most foul, verbal abuse I've ever experienced. If you're female, you have to be way past & above the label of "slut".

It can be a very thin line. I tread it very carefully now.