What do you do when you start to feel that someone's untrustworthy?

[bicentennial_baby]

Acting shady? Suspicious?

What do you do?

:hi:

[av8rdave]

1. Stop trusting them.

[Book Lover]

2. What the man said to a "T"

Remove anything from their grasp that you have placed in their trust. Nothing is worth the nagging worry inside yourself that you have entrusted somthing (of value or not - principle is the thing) to the nontrustworthy.

[bicentennial_baby]

3. Yeah, that's pretty much what I thought

:)

:hi:

[trof]

8. Yep. Don't EVER lie to me.

And I don't mean little kid, hand-in-the-cookie-jar stuff.
A former friend lied to me about money belonging to a group that I had control of/responsibility for.
I will never trust her again and I avoid her when at all possible.

[u4ic]

4. Is it someone who you previously trusted?

Or someone you just met?

Is it a feeling, or a feeling with proof? (not that a feeling doesn't count)


Either way, I'd back off from them. I had a case of the former recently - someone I trusted as a friend. They are no longer.

[bicentennial_baby]

5. Previously....

A little of both? :shrug:

Yeah, I'm working on it...Just like to hear other people's thoughts :)

:hi:

[AlCzervik]

6. like doing shady stuff or talking shit about you or someone you know?

i have trust issues, i trust my husband and 2 other people so i tend to withold information or anything that could be used against me later.

[bicentennial_baby]

7. Shady stuff

[AlCzervik]

9. i would give them the same trust level i would give a total stranger.

if it's your gut feeling then you should go with it.

[bicentennial_baby]

10. Gotcha, thanks

:pals:

[femmocrat]

11. Call HSA or the FBI?

:shrug:

[Gormy Cuss]

12. Do not ignore your Spidey sense.

We have instincts for a reason.
Sometimes the feeling is unfounded but it's always best to insulate yourself a bit until you figure it out.

[bicentennial_baby]

13. My thoughts exactly...

:pals:

[LostinVA]

28. "The Gift of Fear" -- by Gavin de Becker

He says this very thing, and says HE believes women have a very, very instinct about people -- they just feel like they shouldn't use it (ie societal reasons).

[Gormy Cuss]

33. I believe that too.

My mother had a keen ability to size up people and situations quickly and I learned to do the same (never as good as she was, but better than some.) I've backed out of buildings and turned to different streets just because something felt off. I'm not as intuitive about people, but I have steered clear of some people when I just couldn't shake a bad feeling. Having said that, I don't put all my faith in it either. Sometimes it doesn't turn out to be correct. :shrug:

[idgiehkt]

38. I went and found that on amazon.com

and read the first few pages and it sounds amazing. I really need to learn how to listen more to my gut instinct. I grew up in one of those situations where you have to learn not to listen and now I need to learn to heed it better. Thanks for mentioning that book, I'm going to order it.

[LostinVA]

41. I saw him on Oprah right after the book came out

And some of his stories were fascinating.

[undeterred]

14. Turn and run.

And if its your manager, start looking.

[SPKrazy]

15. I revise my assessment of them

and check my reality maybe too :crazy:

:hi:

[bicentennial_baby]

17. Ugh, 'check my reality'

I try to avoid that, thank you :P

:hi:

ps E Coli hurts!

[SPKrazy]

19. well i mean

check reality by asking others for input, am i being too suspicious etc.

or not..:P

yes, e-coli hurts and it hurts and it keeps mutating too...

:puke:

[bicentennial_baby]

20. tell me about it!

Speaking of which, I spoke to the Mr Coli man the other night....He was so annoying, it hurt! :o

:rofl:

Ps- I filled out yr MySpace survey :D

[SPKrazy]

22. I'll have to check it out!

mr. coli is painful too?

:rofl:

[bicentennial_baby]

23. Ridiculously so!

1.5 years after I dumped him...Still resentful and dramatic...Oy vey. Yes, Coli of any kind hurts! :P

:rofl:

[SPKrazy]

24. oy vey, you nut

i read yer myspace thingy

congrats

:rofl:

on your keeping your priorities straight when you got up :P

[bicentennial_baby]

26. Hardly!

It wasn't by choice, y'know.... x(

:rofl:

[SPKrazy]

32. He he he

well d'oh

I know that :P



:rofl:

[Little Wing]

16. bucket. cement. boat. feet.

[bicentennial_baby]

18. A tad extreme, no?

:P

[Little Wing]

25. me?

[Forkboy]

21. Be like me and don't trust anyone in the first place.

Seriously.

Now that you already have trusted someone :spank: I'd try to see if said suspicions are true or not,and act accordingly from there.

[belladonna]

27. I generally confront them

Life's too short to go around wondering who you can trust. Of course, it depends on how well you know them or have interacted with them in the past. A casual acquaintance might not take it as well as someone you've known for awhile. Still, I'd confront them if I were you. Just my two cents... back to the grindstone.

[bicentennial_baby]

29. I should, this is true....

I miss you, y'know... :hug:

[belladonna]

30. E-mail me anytime

I'll probably be back soon. I just got so overloaded with things to do, especially with school, that I had to force myself away from the net for awhile. Thursday I wrote FIVE freaking position papers for my business class, just to get a little bit ahead, then I went and took my midterm Thursday night for the evil coding class. God, I hate that class, yet I continue with an A. Go figure :shrug:

Today, I'm cleaning like a demon, getting all the stuff done that I've neglected for too long. That and cleaning my living room carpet where, unfortunately, either my dog or cat had an unfortunate accident the other night. :puke:

I'll catch up everything soon and be back, pissing people off left and right :P

[bicentennial_baby]

31. Baby, take it easy....

Take care of you , too.... :hug:

and as always... :loveya:

And I will email you, soon... :)

[GirlinContempt]

35. I agree.

Just ask/confront them about whatever and see where that goes.

[crispini]

34. I put my guard up, but I don't write them off for good yet.

I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. Some would say for too long. Nevertheless, I think that giving people the benefit of the doubt is better than a rush to judgment. But when I say "benefit of the doubt," I will, certainly, remember my reservations.

I guess what I'm staying is there is an intermediate stage between "my friend" and "totally not to be trusted." Call it On Probation? :shrug:

[Skittles]

36. kick their ass

no other options

[Generic Brad]

37. Just what are you implying?

Who specifically are you referring to? I swear I had nothing to do with it.

[madeline_con]

39. Watch them closely

Then act according to their relationship to me.

[Ms_Dem_Meanor]

40. Cut them off and then move on.

It's way to much wasted energy to worry about them stressing you out. I can say this 'cause I'm going through it now. :hi:

[SPKrazy]

42. Me too

good advice

:hi:

[idgiehkt]

44. me three

although up to the 'cutting off' point my answer to this question would be to completely ignore any and all red flags and then when the inevitable melodrama ensues, sublimate all the angst and pain of betrayal into one's art. It's a very inspired way to live.

:rofl:

[SPKrazy]

51. Just Ask Van Gogh

of whom there was also a thread about earlier... I think he did the same thing, although he eventually went a little farther than that eh? :D

I'm at the cutting off point myself with someone that I have known, loved, and thought I trusted for 20 years and am feeling very violated by at the moment.

So the cutting off is not a simple whack whack thing... but it does indeed mean that I have to guard my flank a little better than I have been to protect myself from this person...

:hi:

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

50. Me four .

Sometimes people just suck. I was born alone, I breathe alone and I will die alone. Its all truth.

[SPKrazy]

52. That is true

for all of us... ultimately no matter what, we die alone, and people sometimes do indeed suck.

No one breathes for us either.

:hug:

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

53. Throughout everything I still believe in a God or something to that nature ...

and even though I walk in pain of being hurt by someone who I thought was my friend , I hear a voice telling me that everything will be alright and everything that person did will come back to them. Some people have been able to walk through life hurting people without feeling the repercussions of their actions and as unjustifiable as it seems , I want to hurt this person back , but I don't want blood on my hands. So the only thing I can do is listen to the rest of what the voice tells me :walk on ... some day they will hurt and tomorrow I will smile ...

I hate being in my own world but sometimes I feel thats the only way for me to survive. And its stupid of me wanting to hurt myself because I would be only finishing what the other person started. I will make it through this, this is nothing. Fuck them.

[SPKrazy]

54. Fuck them! I agree!

for your situation and mine, fuck them!

no, you are right, it is not worth hurting myself, nor you yourself, over someone else, and something they may have started.

I hope you are better friend, I remember talking to you the other night on here, and you are just so right Fuck Them!

I am taking your words to heart here as well, Fuck them... I will move on with what I need to do to guard my backside, and make my life feel like it is my life once again.

Peace friend

:hug:

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

56. Peace Southpawkicker

:) :hug:

[crim son]

43. With such people I watch what I say until I know for sure

my feelings are justified. I hate discovering that somebody is not who he represents himself to be but OTOH I have mistrusted and misjudged before, and been mistaken. If it is very important for me to find out whether or not somebody is being deceptive then I will make a point of finding out. Usually I just ask.

[bridgit]

45. i start to view them askance...

[rug]

47. .

[bridgit]

49. correct...

:thumbsup:

[eppur_se_muova]

46. Begin impeachment proceedings. nt

[bigwillq]

48. When they hate Rachael Ray.

:rofl:


:P


:)



;)



:hi:

[jpgray]

55. I laser off one "F" from any corresponding "BFF" tattoo.