Personal ads: The good, the bad and the hilarious

[Breeze54]

My friend posted this concerning her experience with personal ads.
I thought it was funny so I wanted to share.
If you have any that make you laugh, then post them too! ;)

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She said:

"I'm giving the online dating thing another try, and in the couple weeks I've been trying it,
I've noticed some things that make me giggle and shake my head.
This is in terms of men's profiles, mind you - I'm not checking out the ladies. Not my thing.

So if you are or have done the online dating site thing, what are some things you notice in people's
profiles (both photos and text) that make you giggle, turn you off, or make you shake your head?"

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My things:

Guys who post photos of them sitting in their car, or their car on its own.
Cool to see your car, but I'd be more interested in seeing what you look like. :)

20-somethings (young 20s) that try to talk me into chatting with them cause
I'm cute and don't look 35. ;) Not into being a cougar, thanks!

I have to admit that I can be very picky about spelling and punctuation...
I can handle some shortforms (like LOL or something) but messages like
"hi how r u qt?" doesn't do it for me.

Short profiles: "New here... will add to this shortly. If I am interested in you...
I will send you my profile & pics. Goodluck in your search & thanx for stopping by"

Guys who post things like this:
AND NOW..A quick summary of what I have learned thus far on (dating site).
WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
30-ish - 39+
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No Breasts
Average looking - Ugly
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free spirit - Junkie/Chronic
Friendship first - Former VERY *friendly* person
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - ****
Voluptuous - Fat
Large frame - Hugely Fat

Those who stress not wanting drama or anyone who brings drama into their life,
baggage (I'm not putting this to start that discussion again!!), or the like.

A short message sent to say hello, or not asking any questions.
"Hi if you think I sound interesting send me a message back. If you don't, that's ok."

There are some interesting guys out there, and I do give most of those that contact
me the benefit of the doubt and chat with them.
These are just little things that make me smile and giggle as I browse online.

How about a guy in a beat up old straw hat saying "You shore are purty"?
Then his profile says he has a master's in economics. :rofl:

[Digit]

1. I received a response one time that floored me....

This guy was into "high colonics" and was wondering if it was something we could share "together". Realize that this was the FIRST email that he sent!

It takes all kinds.....

:rofl:

[Breeze54]

3. OMG!

Now that's an invite I'd pass on asap! :rofl:

I've heard jokes about colonics from Hollywood people.
I wasn't sure if it was true. yuck!

;)

[idgiehkt]

2. this is hysterical:

30-ish - 39+
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No Breasts
Average looking - Ugly
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free spirit - Junkie/Chronic
Friendship first - Former VERY *friendly* person
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - ****
Voluptuous - Fat
Large frame - Hugely Fat


I wonder what the asterisks beside professional stand for....

:shrug:

:rofl:

[Breeze54]

4. lol!

I know! :) **** could mean anything!! Yikes!!

This one cracked me up!

Beautiful - Pathological liar :rofl:

The guy who wrote that list must be online dating forever
and is getting really good at "reading between the lines". :rofl:

I've thought the same things when reading some profiles at match.com. ;)
I haven't done that in quite awhile though.

[idgiehkt]

5. my favorites are

beautiful - pathological liar, and
outgoing - loud and embarassing.

[Breeze54]

6. Outgoing is a good one too!

:)