How full of crap are you?

[TXlib]

Poll question: How full of crap are you?

1) You are pulled over for speeding. The cop asks you, “Where’s the fire, Buddy?” You reply:
a) I’m sorry, officer. I wasn’t been paying attention to my speed.
b) I’m sorry. Was I speeding?
c) Why are you pulling ME over? Didn’t you see that other maniac?
d) Officer, you’re not going to believe this, but…

2) You’ve gone in to work, and a friend calls to invite you fishing that afternoon. (Or golfing, or something else you’d really like to do…) You want to take the rest of the day off to go with your friend. You say to your boss:
a) I’d like to take the rest of the day as a vacation day.
b) I’m not feeling so well.
c) I need to get home to let the repair people in.
d) My wife just got taken to the hospital! I have to go!

3) A friend just got a slightly unflattering haircut. S/he asks you what you think. You say:
a) Did you go to a butcher for your haircut?!
b) Nice, but I liked your old style better.
c) Hey, it suits you!
d) Dahling, you look MAH-velous!

4) You are running for a local elected office. You are being interviewed by the local newspaper on your opinions. The reporter asks you about a very controversial, hot topic, where you hold the minority opinion. How do you answer?
a) Directly and honestly. You don’t want unwarranted support.
b) You say that you lean to the minority opinion, but your mind’s not set.
c) You waffle, so nobody can tell where you stand.
d) You lie through your teeth. Why torpedo yourself?

5) You spouse is away for the weekend. While you’re at the gym, you’re approached by somebody sexy who asks you to dinner. How do you respond?
a) Didn’t you see the wedding band? Take a hike, homewrecker!
b) Thanks. I’m flattered, but I’m also married.
c) Sure. I’ll have dinner with you. Just dinner.
d) Dinner? Sure! How ‘bout breakfast, too?

6) A white lie is:
a) Still a lie. Don’t ask me if you don’t want a brutally honest answer.
b) Useful if you want to spare somebody’s feelings.
c) Useful if you want to get out of trouble.
d) Hmmm… That depends on what the definition of “is” is.

7) How often do you exaggerate?
a) Never. Exaggeration is lying.
b) Sometimes, for comedic effect.
c) Sometimes, to make my argument stronger.
d) At least a million times a day!

8) When you hear the phrase “Fair and Balanced” your first thought is:
a) Bull Fucking Shit!
b) Karl Rove’s mouthpiece, more like.
c) Yes, they are.
d) Puh-lease! Liberal apologists, the lot of them!

9) When you were a child, you aspired to be:
a) A policeman
b) An astronaut
c) A lawyer
d) A politician

10) EULA (End User License Agreement) contracts:
a) Who the fuck can make heads or tails of them?!
b) If I read them several times, I think I understand them.
c) They’re written in plain English. What’s the big deal?
d) I write EULA contracts for a living!

---

Give yourself:
0 points for each 'a'
1 point for each 'b'
2 points for each 'c'
3 points for each 'd'

[GOPisEvil]

1. Call me Mr. Straight Shooter.

Say that with a smile, pardner!

[KCDem]

2. you're such a good boy, Mr. Evil!

We'll have to do something about that.

I, on the other hand, am moderately full of crap. That last question was unfair to those of us who have no idea what EULA is.

[GOPisEvil]

3. You get your next opportunity Feb 6th.

Do your worst! :evilgrin:

[KCDem]

4. I daresay you're flirting with me!

And in my husband's own thread, no less. A :spank: for you.

[GOPisEvil]

You know that only encourages me!

O8)

[TXlib]

5. I'm telling Skittles!

SHE'LL KICK YOUR ASS!

[GOPisEvil]

7. Yeah, I probably need a good ass kicking.

After she's done kicking your ass about your choice of language, send her on over.

[populistmom]

6. I got an 8, so I'm a "strait shooter"

(Not that I've ever shot anything out.)

1) You are pulled over for speeding. The cop asks you, “Where’s the fire, Buddy?” You reply:

a) I’m sorry, officer. I wasn’t been paying attention to my speed.

2) You’ve gone in to work, and a friend calls to invite you fishing that afternoon. (Or golfing, or something else you’d really like to do…) You want to take the rest of the day off to go with your friend. You say to your boss:

b) I’m not feeling so well.


3) A friend just got a slightly unflattering haircut. S/he asks you what you think. You say:

b) Nice, but I liked your old style better.


4) You are running for a local elected office. You are being interviewed by the local newspaper on your opinions. The reporter asks you about a very controversial, hot topic, where you hold the minority opinion. How do you answer?

a) Directly and honestly. You don’t want unwarranted support.

5) You spouse is away for the weekend. While you’re at the gym, you’re approached by somebody sexy who asks you to dinner. How do you respond?

b) Thanks. I’m flattered, but I’m also married.

6) A white lie is:

b) Useful if you want to spare somebody’s feelings.


7) How often do you exaggerate?

b) Sometimes, for comedic effect.


8) When you hear the phrase “Fair and Balanced” your first thought is:

a) Bull Fucking Shit!


9) When you were a child, you aspired to be:

c) A lawyer

10) EULA (End User License Agreement) contracts:

a) Who the fuck can make heads or tails of them?!

[TXlib]

8. kick!

[Selwynn]

9. This is an impossibly skewed poll

The answer to almost everyone of these questions depends on the nuances of context. For example, whether or not I would be "honest" with a friend about a bad haircut depends greatly on the context of my relationship with this person. I may no that my friend really wants a straight frank answer from me more than anything else. Or I may know that my friend really wants moral wants to feel support, or my acceptance more than anything else. Or maybe something else.

Quite a few of these questions, if not all of them, are completely contextual, and I would answer different to each depending on context.

[TXlib]

13. It was just supposed to be FUNNY

C'mon, I spent some time putting that together!

[trof]

10. Do the words "Christmas Turkey" mean anything to you?

My eyes are brown.
What does that tell you?
;-)

[YellowRubberDuckie]

11. Guys, life is too serious for me to NOT be full of crap.

They gave Karl Rove an enema, and guess where it ended up?! I freely admit it. I'm honest when it counts, usually after I tell a whopper, with a straight face. And sometimes the truth is so outrageous that I just tell the truth, and people are like, "you're so full of shit." It's common knowledge around here, that most of the time when I sound like I'm joking, I'm really not.
Duckie

[bubblesby2002]

12. Apparently I'm only half full of crap

I got 15 so what does that say about me? I guess I'm a little slippery but I usually tell the truth I think, at least as I know it.:freak:

[pocoloco]

14. gif

[pocoloco]

15. gif2

http://www.grovestreet.com/servlet/View?pid=343329&cd=552

[TXlib]

17. neither of the links work.

[MrScorpio]

16. This town needs an enema:

Shrubya's Washington D.C.

[Bertha Venation]

18. about 2-D... you mean someone would know that's a bogus excuse?

Uh-oh....

I scored a 6. All As and Bs. :shrug:

[Endangered Specie]

19. 10 points for me (but I should have 8)

Its true that sometimes I might stretch the truth... usually to make someone feel better or make a point.. You can be too honest. But usually, I tell it like it is.

I dont see why I got 2 points for an answer 'C' on '10'. Its the honest truth... EULA contracts ARE in English, if you actually sit down and read them they make some sense.

[rbnyc]

20. 6

Deception makes me very nervous and upset. I cried during A Fish Called Wanda because of all the lying.

[ElsewheresDaughter]

25. lol.... i understand rbnyc

[no name no slogan]

21. I have brown eyes....I must be fairly full o' crap, huh? (n/t)

[hunter]

22. I am pathologically honest.

I'll lie about haircuts, I'll exagerate some things for comedic effect, but I won't change the point of a story.

I'll often return small flirtations from people of any sex, but otherwise I'm extremely faithful.

Am I tactful? Often I am not, so if I claim to be telling "white lies" to avoid hurting someone else's feelings, maybe that is a "white lie" I'm telling myself.

I wonder if it is possible to be "pathologically honest" about lying?

[elfwitch]

23. No shock here

Truthfullness doesn't come easily to you, does it?

I know I'm full of crap.
I have to be.

[ElsewheresDaughter]

24. i'm pathologically honest ......scored a 5 with brown eyes

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