The High Colonic of all Captions

[cosmicdot]

{{President Bush, right, waves to reporters as he leaves the National Naval Medical Center followed by Dr. Kenneth Cooper, center, and Rear Adm. Don Arthur, commander of the medical center, in Bethesda, Md., Saturday, Aug. 2, 2003. President Bush had his annual medical checkup before heading to his ranch in Crawford, Texas. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)}}

Dr. Cooper: mmmm, I'd shake your hand, but where's it been? I mean, is that 'rear' admiral stuff, like, literal?

[Ilsa]

1. I had a friend who had a heart attack right after

Dr. Cooper pronounced him "fit". The guy took his ECG's to a new cardiologist who told him he should sue Cooper for missing such obvious signs of blockage in the test.

We can only hope Dr. Cooper is handling both Smirk's and Sneer's tests.

[skip fox]

2. Rear Adm. Don Arthur (center, white hair) is saying:

"Thanks, Doc. We can just forget those CAT-scans of the brain that
came out, mysteriously, pure black. Remember: 'The instrumentation
has been on the fritz for weeks now.' That's all you gotta do if anyone
asks. Otherwise, . . . well, hell, we don't want to bring any SEALs into
the equation, do we?"

[skip fox]

3. When morning's captions sound no more the vaulted blue,

And those of afternoon desert poor memory's que,
Then DU'ers of the evening will sharpen pens,
That they might have fresh captions once again.

:bounce:

[Elidor]

4. Dr. Cooper sez:

"Well, we finally found where Cheney's been hiding, but we can't get him to come out."

Rear Adm. Arthur: "Here, I'll give you a hand."

Dubya thinks: Must not look like I've just had a hand up my ass. Must look presidential. Doc said he found Colin in there, too. It's a party inside my ass, and I'm not invited.