My 400th post - what's a guy gotta do to get flamed?

[Bundbuster]

More than half of my posts have been in GD, even a few in "GD Primaries", and I remain unscathed and feel somewhat inadequate. Perhaps if I told you that...

- I often go 6 days without shaving.

- My father actually belonged to the John Birch Society and owned all of William F. Buckley's books.

- I'm not crazy about cats, even though they all LOVE me.

- My favorite state to visit is Montana.

- I can't stand the Grateful Dead (hello Zomby?)

- I'd rather watch TV golf than football.

- I've been known to eat an 18 ounce package of Oreos in one sitting.

- I've worn the same sweatpants for 20 straight days.

- Although it's for comic relief, I sometimes watch multiple late-night televangelists (Robert Tilton reruns are my fave.)

- I'm not wearing underwear as I type this.

C'mon now - what's a guy gotta do?

[dudeness]

1. for a start put on some underwear.

jeeeezus..

[BeatleBoot]

2. Watching Golf over Football?

My word!

I'll play golf over playing football, but watching?

My word!

[Bundbuster]

3. Tiger rules!

[Catshrink]

4. Well, you don't like to watch football and you don't like cats...

but, I can't flame you because .... you (presumably) believe as I do: Oreos are a food group unto themselves. Damn I love 'em. Which are your favorite? The original? Peanut butter? Mint?

I'm gonna make a DU poll on this.....

[Bundbuster]

5. Actually, Oreos only by default

I cannot describe my sorrow when I tried to buy my beloved HYDROX about 4 years ago and saw that they were no longer made. The horror!

[Catshrink]

7. Gee, no kidding?

Oreos are too awesome anyway....

[Bundbuster]

14. Catshrink - did you ever

get to try Hydrox (made by Sunshine)? They were truly heaven.

[xcentrik]

6. Well, if you insist...

F*** you, you anal wart! After the revolution, people like you are gonna be down in the coal mines, holding candle stumps and diggin' with yer bare hands! You are personally responsible for the deaths of millions of proletarian souls! My astrologer said so, just before he psychically surgically removed by evil gall bladder!

Glad I could help.

[Bundbuster]

12. I am the reincarnation of

Joseph Stalin! In my previous life I put those millions of proles down the coal mines, worked their bare hands into bloody stumps, and fed their gall bladders to my Russian wolfhounds.

There will be no next revolution - in this life I am KKKarl Rove's double.

[Paragon]

8. Flamed?

Just a joke, folks.

[Bundbuster]

15. Bring 'em on - I need a makeover

They'd stay a week with my routine, might even teach me how to cook.

But they'll have to tear the sweatpants from my cold, lifeless hands.

[Fenris]

9. a package of Oreos in one sitting? Fat-ass.

Consider yourself flamed! Happy 400 posts!

[Bundbuster]

17. How about 32 ounces of prime rib endcuts...

while standing in the kitchen carving? Never even made it to the dining room table.

[Vote2004]

10. TV Golf over football?

Geesh...... I am new here and haven't yet made 400+ posts, but I am gonna "flame" you now!

How could you watch TV golf over football? When you are watching golf, you have to whisper whisper and hold your breath while he/she putts, but with football game, you can raise your fists about and shout as loud as you want, like, RUN, BABY, RUN, GO GO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and such.

Hence, I now flame you, you golf watcher!
:evilgrin:

[Bundbuster]

13. This sunday I will make an exception

and watch the mighty Patriots roll on to the Super Bowl. Peyton Manning will crystalize in the 10-degree cold. However, I'll be taping the Sony Open for later viewing - best of both worlds.

[Vote2004]

18. Flame war! (PANTHERS WILL CRUSH YOUR PATRIOTS!)

Colts or your Patriots, come face the mighty Panthers on Superbowl Sunday! (flame, flame flame!)

K, now I confess, I do watch Ice skating sometimes..... Pull for Michell Kwan always, so it's your turn to flame me now, I guess? ;)

[Bundbuster]

20. Ice skating? Figure skating?

Do you sleep with the Russian judges?

Do you wear pink tutus while watching?

Do you triple sowcow on the couch?

[Vote2004]

23. Hush, I am about to putt!

You funny. hehehe...

[Bundbuster]

26. If you watch golf with the volume off...

You can shout or even fart while they stalk that crucial 4-foot putt.

[Vote2004]

27. Greg Norman.......

I saw him playing in person a few times way back when, and he played to the crowd as well, but choked at the last crusial moments! ARGH! Now I know what was wrong with him. (He should've farted.......)

Thanks for the banter, 400+ poster!

[Bundbuster]

29. It's now a well-known fact that Greg Norman's

repetitive choking was due to wearing very tight underwear.

[ScholarSeeker]

11. Well for starters, change out of those rotten sweat pants

and put some underwear on. Christ! Maybe that's why you are not even flame worthy

[Bundbuster]

16. Underwear saps the precious bodily fluids (Dr. Strangelove)

and restricts a man's groinal freedom. The Libertarian and swinger within me cannot cannot condone this.

[ScholarSeeker]

28. okay, it's disgusting, but the same sweatpants for 20 days??

C'mon!!!

[Bundbuster]

30. ssshhh (I washed 'em once)

after the first 10 days. There's an old blues song by Taj Mahal called "I'm built for comfort, not for speed". When I find a comfortable piece of cotton clothing, I just wear it out. Not one to think alot about style or "this year's fashion".

[Insider]

19. two words

GAIL O'GRADY.

there. now you can flame ME. i needed to get that out of my system before bed without starting another thread.

[Bundbuster]

21. Gail O'Grady will be

my new avitar!

[Insider]

24. she made the nypd blue

donna...

i have taken to watching those reruns in the afternoon. what did the inspector say today? "well, she is quite striking"

[Endangered Specie]

22. HEY.. YOU MR. Thread Starter

I FUCKING HATE YOUR GUTS!!!... BURN YOU SORRY SOB!!!... YOU ARE A LOUSY SACK OF SHIT!!! YOU EAT CATS FOR BREAKFAST YOU BASTARD!!!

lol

feel better? I hope i did my part, making your DU experience whole.

PS John Hagee is another good televangalist... good entertainment at 5am.

[Bundbuster]

25. I eat endangered species for breakfast

This morning it was cheetah triple souflee.



and Benny Hinn is a piece of work.

[BigDaddyLove]

31. Mention Walmart in an even remotely positive light....

That should do it.

[Bundbuster]

32. Walmart & Sam Walton are

bastions of this great land of opportunity, providing competitive pricing and compassionate employment, while adding valuable property, payroll, and sales tax dollars to your local municipality.

(edited to delete: "offerring 3rd-world sweatshop products whenever possible...coercing managers to delete legally due overtime hours...donating maximum allowed dollars to GOP...lobbying to fight mimimum wage increases...monopolizing small businesses into oblivion...offering either no, or substandard employee health coverage...")

[Bundbuster]

33. Thank you all for the warm flames of love

I've shaved, changed into new sweats, put on underwear, hugged a kitty, forsworn TV golf and Benny Hinn, put on a Grateful Dead CD, programmed "Queer Eye" to record, and dug out my 2002 Patriots Super Bowl tape.

Can you ever forgive me?

[Kamika]

34. Just post something in my name

You'll get flamed for anything basicly

[Bundbuster]

36. OK Kamika - I'm sending

the "Queer Eye" crew over to your place to dress you in Rainbow colors, paint your bedroom lavendar, fill your house with the sounds of Melissa Ethridge & ABBA, get those Abercrombie & Fitch clothes out of your closet, and force-feed you sushi 'till you come to your senses.

[Kamika]

39. Lol

I don't get it but I wouldn't mind spending some time with those guys

[TOhioLiberal]

35. A little flame for ya...

Re: no undies and 20 day sweatpants...
Gee TMI..and not a nice mental image either, dude

congrats on 400 posts.
Trekkerlass

[Jeff in Cincinnati]

37. Not much...

...asshole!

[Bundbuster]

42. How about them Packers, ritc?

Have they left the frozen tundra for the white sand beaches yet?

Wait...there's always next year!

[LynneSin]

38. Insult my football team and I'll bring out the econosize flamethrower

Other than that I'm a kindhearted soul

[Bundbuster]

41. That's one thing I cannot/will not do

The image of OxyRush eating Donovan McNabb's shit is just too tantalizing. For that, I might even root for your eaglets over my Pats in the Big Dance.

[geniph]

40. If you actually want to be flamed,

mention your views on the following, excoriating those with whom you disagree:

Gun rights
Abortion
Religion
Civil unions vs. marriage
Spanking children
Capital punishment

I pretty much guarantee whatever your views are, SOMEONE will flame you for them on one of those topics.

[Bundbuster]

45. All of the above

- Gun rights? If it's good by Charlton Heston and Ollie North, it's good by me. Damn pigeons shitting on my car - I could use an AK47.

- Abortion? I'm waiting for God to talk to me on that one, but a seance with Pat Robertson might work in a pinch.

- Religion? If 300 different religions all claim to be praying to the only true God, it's just a matter of finding the RIGHT one, no?

- Civil unions vs. marriage? After AWOL's $1.5 billion "Strengthening (hetero) Marriage" proposal yesterday, I'm not sure there's enough room in the GOP Big Tent for that gay thang anymore.

- Spanking children? My dad spanked the snot out of me, and look how I turned out. Spare the rod and spoil the child.

- Capital punishment? We've overtaken those damn Ruskies on imprisoned citizens, why stop there? We cannot allow an execution gap!

[recidivist]

43. There's one surefire formula.

Be rude to others. You'll be flamed right back. Stay civil, and even the nutcases will be relatively polite in return.

[nickgutierrez]

44. YOU SUCK!!!

For no apparent reason.