2010 - Ordering Pizza in a post-Bush administration world

[RebelOne]

This was posted by someone on the GAforDennisKucinich list.

2010 - Ordering Pizza in a post -Bush administration world

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut May I have your order.

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order."

Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's
6102049998-45-54610."

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland
Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at
Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which
number are you calling from, sir?"

Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your
All-Meat Special pizzas..."

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very
high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National
Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."

Customer: "What do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure
you'll like it"

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your
local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones,
then. What's the damage?"

Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four
kids, sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes $49.99."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.
Your credit card balance is too close to its limit."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your
driver gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account will be
overdrawn until after 2 AM when your deposit goes through."

Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash
ready. How long will it take?"

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 2 hours
and 45 minutes, sir due to the Orange alert roadblocks for commercial
vehicles. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while
you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can
be a little awkward."

Customer: "How do you know I'm riding a bike?"

Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so
your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed
that you'd be using it."

Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already
got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop. And a fine in
September 2009 for using bad grammer in public, violating the Bush
Moral Language Artificational Code."

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "No, nothing. oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of
Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents
us from offering free soda to households with any diabetics."

Customer: "Never mind then."

Operator: "You cannot stop an order once it has been entered into
the national economic recovery computer system without paying a
substantial penalty sir."

Customer: "Terrorist!"

[wtmusic]

1. Very funny

:-)

[Rabrrrrrr]

2. Hilarious!!

Thanks!

[tigereye]

3. clever, would make a good skit