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I was going to post asking for advice about "thank you notes" -- the twins are 12-1/2 weeks old, and we just got the "corrected" birth announcements late last week. (The first printing had a major error -- my daughter's weight! -- but it wasn't caught by us until almost too late!)
Anyway, the baby shower was never held because the babies arrived the day before, and I was in the hospital/on drugs at the time. Then I told my sisters I didn't want to even think about a shower until after they got out of the NICU, and then they did it one at a time, and there was this whole "feed babies every three hours thing" going on, with no sleep, etc. and to make a long story short, it doesn't look like its ever going to happen, and the gifts have been trickling in anyway, so whatever. Even though part of me had been looking forward to it during the EIGHT YEARS of infertility stuff we went through, another part of me just wanted to avoid the whole thing because of the "angst" associated with the situation with my mother-in-law's side of the family. (They weren't being invited because my husband hasn't been on speaking terms with his mother for eight years; we think she has an undiagnosed personality disorder...she's psycho!)
We are still working on painting the nursery, but I've been keeping track of the gifts, and I convinced myself that it was going to be okay to include the "thank you notes" in with the birth announcements along with "wallet pictures" of the babies.
My question was going to be "is it going to be okay if they are typed / printed in a nice font because my handwriting looks like crap, and if I have to handwrite them, I'm not EVER going to do it, even without the excuse of preemie newborn twins and no sleep?"
I was hoping you folks would say soothing things like "Twins AND Thank You Notes? Getting thank you notes done at all is going to be a miracle, and folks will understand if they aren't hand written!" but I also expected some of you to chastise me about it.
So, I'm making sure I have all of the addresses for the labels for the birth announcement/thank you notes all together when I SEE A NAME.
A NAME OF A PERSON WHO I SPECIFICALLY HAD TOLD MY MOTHER I DIDN'T WANT INVITED. REPEATEDLY.
Who was on the list of people my mother wanted invited that I had forwarded on to the sister doing the invitations without even looking at, because it hadn't even occurred to me that my mother would put *HER* on the list after our MULTIPLE discussions about it.
Of course she had received an invitation. Only I didn't know it.
I'm ready to strangle my mother. This happened in January, but I just found out about it, and this, along with a whole bunch of other things that she's been doing, has my head OFFICIALLY exploding. It feels like "the last straw" and I'm hitting DONE NOW.
"Done now" didn't happen when she tried to pick a fight with me while I was in the hospital admitting area over my inviting "ex nieces" and their mother to the shower (Tuesday before the babies were born).
"Done now" didn't happen when she DID pick a fight with me while I was *IN THE HOSPITAL* over her boyfriend (the jerk who likes my breasts, and kept commenting about it).
"Done now" didn't happen when she acted like a complete ASS when we were trying to decide what day the babies were going to come into the world: "Are you so afraid of being a mother that you're willing to kill your unborn children?" (used because we delayed the recommended C-Section by one day)
"Done now" didn't happen when she brought the boyfriend into my driveway because she "forgot" that I'd told her back in December that I didn't want him knowing where I lived. ("But I didn't bring him INTO the house!")
"Done now" didn't happen during the HOURS of discussions we've had about the boyfriend who we aren't supposed to be talking about. (We made the agreement at her counselor's office, btu for some reason, she keeps bringing him up: "He feels really bad about what he said, and he would love to meet the babies!")
No, I've hit "DONE NOW" over something that happened back in JANUARY. Just a small, insignificant HUMILIATION where someone I didn't want invited to a special event that was going to have ME as the "Guest of Honor" was invited anyway. The event didn't even happen, but damn! My mother STILL managed to ruin it for me.
I'm a pretty forgiving sort of person; it takes A LOT of work for me to "hold a grudge" and I have forgiven "unforgivable" crimes in the past. I'm sure I'll get over this, too, but for now, my mother needs to STAY AWAY FROM ME. I'm tired, I'm cranky, and the fact that I can't trust her to watch out for me when I'm vulnerable is REALLY getting to me.
I'm so MAD at her, my head literally exploded. I said some Not Nice Things, and we mutually hung up on each other.
:(
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