So, this "real world" thing kinda sucks ass. And I feel guilty for even feeling stressed.

[WindRavenX]

I loved college--I developed tremendously and feel like I'm an overall better person because of my educational experience. I loved the independence, my friends, my professors...I felt tremendous anxiety when I graduated because I knew I was leaving that safe place I felt. Even though I loathed many aspects of the particular college I went to (institutionalized homophobia, classism, elitism, etc), I still felt it was the best choice in my life to go there.

So now here I am, trying to find a job, worrying about bills, what to eat because our budget is shit--and I feel guilty because even though I know this is a rough spot anxiety wise, I still lead a life of luxury compared to most people. I have a fridge with food, I sleep on a nice bed, I'm not in an abusive relationship...but I still feel beyond stressed that I'm no longer in college. It's been only 2 weeks since graduating (!!!) and I miss my friends and our hours of smoking weed and playing mario kart and bashing neocons. I miss my college routines.

I worry about finding a job to the point I can't sleep :(

I feel restless and extremely anxious (and I can't smoke to alievate that because most places do require piss tests) because until I have a set schedule, I feel like I'm dolly-dallying and wasting my time.

Any advice on how to adjust to this new lifestyle?

[Danger Mouse]

1. I had a complete fucking collapse after college...

went into severe suicidal depression and all.
it was lots of fun.
Good luck finding a job.

[WindRavenX]

2. yeah I had a really really bad bipolar episode a week ago

Woke up in the morning and I couldn't stop crying. I wanted to go to my friends' apartment where I used to go if I was stressed--and realized I never would again :(

:hug: to you dude.

[Danger Mouse]

4. just hang in there. it's hard, it's really hard.

i was too afraid to ask for help when i was going through my own issues...almost got evicted, ended up in serious debt, and ruined my relationship with my girl at the time.
it was brutal, and mostly of my making.
this was in 2004.
I've gotten my life back in order and am rebuilding my life, but i'll never forget how foolish and week i felt
...
well, i've been there before.
drop me a line if you ever want to talk about it.

[pitohui]

3. isn't some of this caused by getting away from the wacky weed?

people accustomed to spending "hours" smoking are going to have sleepless nights and feel restless and anxious for awhile -- some people do, anyway

you'll be fine, just be patient w. yourself

have a glass of wine, it's the weekend, yellow tail merlot is cheap and drinkable

hell maybe i'm a weirdo, i was thrilled to finish college and move on to the next new thing

[WindRavenX]

6. naw, I've been off it for over 2 months

I am, however, tremendously anxious when I have a lot of time on my hands--which is what I have now :(

[pitohui]

13. ok, that's good, anyway

i probably can't suggest anything real useful then, as i am the opposite, i find having time (slack) is the best part of life and it is when i'm pressured and time-limited that i feel more anxious

i live for those days when i have time on my hands

isn's there something special you could be doing w. this time, honestly, it might not come again for many years once you are employed -- many jobs now only offer 1 to 2 weeks vacation in an entire year, v. v. different from school

[Redstone]

5. Relax. You'll survive. Millions of us have done just that. And some, even without the college

interlude to postpone the trauma.

You just do what has to be done. Maybe not easy, but at least simple.

Redstone

[WindRavenX]

7. dude, what up?

Haven't been around much!

[Redstone]

16. Been busy. Mrs R had some minor surgery, so I've been busy taking care of her.

(She's doing fine, so don't worry.) Lots of work too, which is a good thing when you own a business; you don't make any money if you're not working.

And my health has been OK, since I'm sure you're wondering.

You know, kiddo, you're one of my favorites around here, and I want you to do well and be happy. The advice I gave you was what I think is the best way for you to handle things. Change is indeed traumatic, but life is indeed change.

I was talking with my neighbor tonight, and he asked me how I managed to be so successful with my business, that I can work within my physical limitations and still manage to make enough bux to support the family / house / kid in college, etc. The answer that I gave him might be useful for you:

I told him (and this is the stone truth) that I've been successful by being too goddamn DUMB to understand that there was anything I couldn't do. When I started my business, I was too oblivious to know that you couldn't go into business with $700 in the bank and a Sears credit card, especially when you'd just bought a house.

And in the early years of my business, when one of my customers asked me to do something that I had NO idea how to do (creating websites in the early days of the Internet for example), I'd just say "Yeah, sure. I'll go ahead and do that" even though I didn't' have the first clue as to how to create a website.

But fear (or failure) and poverty (which would result from not getting the job done) are powerful motivators.

I'll tell you again: Just do what needs to be done. You'll find a way.

Redstone

[WindRavenX]

18. what you said is mos def true

Many people can think themselves into ruts because they think too goddamn much--I wish I had the ability to shut the brain off, roll up my sleeves, and just kick ass without having to analyze every last thing, you know? I wish I could do what you do--owning a business must be so empowering because you're in control--feeling powerless is probably the worst feeling ever!

I'll keep Mrs.R in my thoughts--surgery is never fun and I know she's been through a lot.

peace my friend :)

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

8. Yup, the real world sucks ass.

38 years out of college and it still sucks ass.

But you get used to it.

[fizzgig]

9. it's tough, i know

try to set a routine as best you can. focus on getting the place together right now, maybe volunteer at the animal shelter or something.

i went through the same thing after i graduated. wound up having to go back to my college job for over a year and got really down, but it got a lot easier once i got some traction.

:hug:

[WindRavenX]

11. thanks for the advice

I'm looking into volunteering at the local gay pride center until I find a job :hi:

[fizzgig]

14. that's a great idea

i'm sure they need the help :hi:

[Lethe]

10. i felt the exact same way

it's like, you spend so many years in college aspiring to get the diploma and going on to be something else. Then when it happens you can kind of feel a little lost for a while. For me it was pretty bad, because even when i found a job i slowly discovered that i did not like the field in which i had got a degree. So it felt like i had spend 5 years for training in a job field that i didn't want to make a career out of, and it really left me with a lot of questions to ask.

You will get through it and figure it out. Or you can go to grad school. :)

ps. smoking weed and playing mario kart is one of the most entertaining activities known to mankind.

[WindRavenX]

12. the fiance and I just dl'd Mario Kart 64

Goddamn is that game awesome :)

[Lethe]

17. fuckin-a

we have passed so many hours playing that game, and i still suck at it lol! :P

[WindRavenX]

19. heh. I totally whip my SO's ass at Mario Kart and Star Fox.

He can't beat me at Star Fox, even if I have the highest handicap on ! :rofl:

[Kali]

15. get some exercise

it will kill some time and burn some anxiety - are you in SLC? I understand there are some fabulous trails in the hills - go check some out. (and this is coming from a total slob who hates "intentional" exercise except for riding or swimming)

[Generic Brad]

20. I used to be told that college wasn't the real world

Guess what? Things were just as real as when I graduated as they had been before. You have just lost the structure in your life for the past few years. Now the road is wide open and it is up to you to decide which direction you are going to go. It took me about 15 years to settle in after college and finally feel like I had found my niche. I sincerely hope you can accomplish that sooner than I did.

I realize that my current comfort zone could be destroyed in a second if something horrible were to happen to my wife or daughter. We decide moment by moment the kind of person we are and what we will do next. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Life will always have its periods of anxiety - even for old farts like me. We do not have control of everything that happens to us. We are only responsible for our reactions.