Is it okay to use material from someone's MySpace page to chat them up?

[Bryan]

I was going to make a move on a friend of a friend at a bar last weekend, but it occurred to me that gleaning common interests from someone's webpage might give an unsavory impression. How much-and what kind of-"research" is appropriate? Thoughts?

[Maddy McCall]

1. None, until you get to know the person.

I'd be kinda grossed out by someone who I met the first time, who pretended to know a lot about me from a website.

It'd be different if y'all had been talking and developing some kind of relationship, but what you describe is that you were going to try to "make a move" on this person, and it might seem kinda stalkerish if you start talking about stuff like you've "researched" the person.

JMHO.

[Bryan]

3. Thank you, that's what I thought

I don't believe I have especially good radar about this sort of thing, so I try to rely on thinking things through.

[jpgray]

2. If you wouldn't mind telling her where you got the info, sure

If you would mind, or if you are trying to fake interest in things she likes, then it's probably not a good idea. Starting on a dishonest foot can ruin a lot of relationships.

[VenusRising]

4. I think it's ok to use it for

finding out what things you might have in common. Just mention said commonalities (movies, music, causes) in passing and build from there. Just don't mention that you found it on her MySpace page right away.

[Oeditpus Rex]

5. If you're clever about it

For example, if you learn from his/her page that he/she likes Band A, you might do well to casually work that into conversation. Ideally, if a song by Band A comes on, you might say, "I listened to this CD last night. It blew me away."

Note that you should actually know something about Band A before trying this.

Do not say, "I see that we both like Band A. That's really amazing. Would you care to blow me now?"

:D

[jpgray]

6. Do't do any of the above if you think Band A is horrible

Girls are usually pretty apt at telling whether someone is bullshitting about common interests. It's hard to do without sounding and feeling like a jackass anyway.

[Hippo_Tron]

7. I look at facebook/myspace before I know people but I never remember stuff like that

For example I may see that a certain person likes a band that I do. However, I rarely remember what that specific band is and therefore it never comes up in conversation.

I find that the old fashioned way works much better to find common interests.