Okay, lounge. I really need some good advice here.

[Writer]

You may or may not have read some of my previous threads about my professor/writing partner. I've complained before about his lack of communication, but I have gotten to the point where I simply don't know how to proceed, and not only do I need some good lounge mojo, but I need some good advice (kindly now).

Background: After I graduated in May 2006, my professor proposed writing a book together on my thesis topic. He was (and is still) sincere about doing so. However, over last summer communication with him was exceedingly poor. I'd write and he wouldn't write back. I'd offer to meet him at his office and I wouldn't get a reply. You get the picture, I'm sure. We did manage to set up a couple of meetings over the summer and progressed somewhat on writing the proposal needed to shop the book to various academic/university publishing firms. Now last summer he was extremely distracted by a very serious matter that I will not get into here. After the fallout of that situation, I met again with him and his research assistant, who my prof. decided to employ to help us with the research. I took this as a sign of my professor's true sincerity to work on the project. Unfortunately the RA did not work out. Not only did he never complete any of the research we asked him to complete, but he also left the doctoral program at the end of the spring.

So now I'm back to just me and the professor. I wrote him before Memorial Day and asked if he wanted to meet sometime in June. He said it was a great idea but asked that I call him when I returned from my trip. I did call him after I returned, and he told me that he was on his way to California for the week, and that I should email him the next week. Not only did I email him the next week, but I also left him my phone number. It's been two weeks since we chatted and I have received no reply and no call from him.

So you can see where this is going: my professor is sincere but is a bad communicator.

Here are my goals:

1. Get this proposal completed WITH my professor this summer (I'm lead author, but it would be good to have his credentials, as well.)
2. Continue the relationship on a positive level, especially given that I need his help with resubmitting a new PhD application later this summer. I also really like the guy and wish he could serve as a mentor to me.

I don't know how to approach him on this, or if I should approach him at all. I'm simply at a loss here, and I'd appreciate any friendly advice that you may have.

Thanks!

Writer.

[philosophie_en_rose]

1. It looks like you're schedules don't match right now.

If I were in your position, I would tell him that you're really eager to produce the proposal, but that you can see that he's really busy. Maybe you could send him an outline of the proposal and then email comments/ edits/ drafts to each other until you can meet in person.

If you need a RA, then I might suggest having him hire one and letting you work directly with that person to get the ball moving.

[Writer]

2. Thanks, philosophie.

I sent him a sample chapter (for the proposal) back in late May. Not only did he not respond to that, but he didn't acknowledge until much later that he even received it.

I do wish he could find another RA, however. I don't think he teaches during the summer, but if there's another doc student who can help us, that would be so helpful to me.

Thanks, again! :hi:

[datasuspect]

3. sounds like he's blowing you off

[Writer]

4. I get the impression that he's sincere about working on this project. n/t

[Joe Fields]

5. Why not do your own research and quit fretting about an RA?

I have no idea what this book is about, but if a qualified and published professor is excited enough about the idea to encourage a book, and be a part of the production of it, then I would definitely proceed. I'm sure he is a very busy man, and your book, while it is extremely important to you, may be further down on his list of priorities.
So, I would go "full speed ahead," if I were you. Take the ball and run with it. This book is YOUR baby. Don't allow foot dragging on the part of other people to impede your progress.

[Writer]

7. It's not a book until the proposal gets accepted.

Also, the agent in question is also a friend of his. I don't think it would be wise to just push him out. I need to keep him on the project for his credentials and his contacts.

We also need to COORDINATE ourselves periodically. Hence a need to MEET.

FRETTING? And why do you think I merit that type of a personal characterization? Fuck that.

[Joe Fields]

10. Sounds like you've placed your faith in two leaky vessels...

Fretting? What else would you call it? You posted here asking for advice, didn't you? I would call that fretting. Hey, I was just trying to help....I think I'll just mind my own business...

[Writer]

12. I was looking for advice, not criticism.

And how typical is it that someone jumps on with the knives after I've explicitly asked for it to be friendly? And how typical is it for the person in question to claim that somehow I "asked for it." I didn't, and if you ever needed advice, I would attempt to be friendly.

[Joe Fields]

13. Whoah, back up there, lady...I can't understand how you could even suggest

I was criticizing you. I'm sorry you took it the wrong way. You did post this in the lounge, did you not? You did ask for advice, right? You are concerned that the two people you are counting on to help you are letting you down, right? I merely suggested that you take matters into your own hands. Is there any reason why you absolutely need the RA who won't research for you? Seems like he's holding you back. The bottom line is that it is YOUR project, not theirs. That means it's your responsibility to get the job done, with or without them. That is, of course if you want the book published. Not criticism, writer, just reality.

[Writer]

14. Okay, I will back off.

Thanks for the explanation, and I am sorry that I interpreted the "fretting" comment as a criticism.

The RA is gone, but he was just lagniappe - I was actually grateful that my prof. decided to use him for our project, because that was unexpected. My prof is the one I'm concerned about. As it now stands, I wonder if a good, thick email to him would be appropriate. You know, put the decision as to whether he wants to continue on this project with me in his hands. I really could use him... at least as a mentor, but not if coordinating our efforts would be this difficult. At that point, I then could operate on my own.

[Joe Fields]

17. I know he would be a most valuable asset, for a number of important reasons.

I think you should write him a lengthy e-mail and politely spell out how you are feeling about the situation, and ask him how you and he should proceed.

And again, sorry for any confusion. I have some experience in this matter.

[Writer]

21. Did something like this happen to you?

I'd be interested in hearing your story.

[Joe Fields]

23. I'll PM you. sorry for the delay...

[wildhorses]

6. writer,

i got a bad feeling about this man. i doubt his sincerity. i think you need to find help from another source. sorry, just my .02:shrug:

good luck with it. if i could have my way i woul be an english major and my thesis would be about a theory i have on hamlet. does that make me a geek:crazy:

:hi:

[Writer]

9. LOL... probably, but I think geeks rock.

Thanks for your .02. :hi:

[supernova]

8. Hrrmmm... this is a real quandary

FIrst of all, you have way more patience than I do. I'd have long ago started the project myself, and not relied on the professor. This even if I did like and admire him as a person.

The generous interpretation of this is it sounds like he might really want to be involved but, due to his own time constraints can't realistically be as involved as he would like. And he's not being honest with himself about it... therefore he's not able to be upfront with you about it.

I agree with the first poster who suggested sending him an outline of the project and see what he says. I would do as much work as I possibly could on my own (he may have another RA later, but he may not). I would also set up a kind of schedule, laying out your perception of timelines and deadlines. I think you two do need to have a discussion about that. Oh, and camp out at his office if need be. Sometimes the only way to resolve issues is face2face.

The bottom line is you can't hold up your working life for a book that he may not be able to co-author at this time, eventhough he might be enthusiastic about doing so. You need to find out what his expectations are about how much work he is able to contribute. Worse comes to worse, if this is something that you really need his expertise on, couldn't possibly do it without him, you might work it up to a specific point, then shelve it until he is ready to work on it.

[Writer]

11. This is all reasonable.

Last August I did cut it off with him, but literally two days later I discovered that he had been involved in a rather trying, difficult situation over the summer (through the news, of all places) so I gave him a pass. He even asked if we could regroup.

But I think you may have a point - he wants to do this, but he doesn't have the time.

So given that, I wonder if I should address him with a kind, semi-formal email. Let him make the decision if he wants to continue?

[supernova]

16. I would be

professional and diplomatic. Make it clear that you intend to do this project and that you understand he has other priorities. So you will work/are working on it and that you intend to finish it in (timeframe here). Then ask him if he is genuinely prepared to put serious effort into it during that time.

If he says he can't, then you are free to work on your own and ask him, as a professional courtesy, to write a preface before publication. So, as long as the book is your idea, make it clear that you will be working on it now, and he can either choose to join in, or accept a smaller role later. That way it's up to him.

[Heidi]

15. You're a fine writer. Why do you need a "writing partner"?

It sounds to me as though he isn't taking this collaboration as seriously as you are. If you want a mentor, please bear in mind the fact that he's not the only mentor in the world. Why not spread your wings?

[Writer]

19. Well he was my thesis advisor and he's the only real connection I have at the moment...

I'm sure I'll bump into someone later.

Thanks :hi:

[Dora]

18. Get used to it. If your proposal is accepted somewhere, this will continue.

Have patience. Don't worry.

Do send succinct e-mails.

Do stay on point. Don't burden communication processes by sharing personal conditions (especially states of worry) unless it is relevant to next steps. Gratitude is always acceptable.

Rely on what you know is true/real, and stick to facts.

Be clear with your self about your expectations.

Be clear with your colleague with what you are asking for.

Be willing to change your expectations and your goals.

Even if your colleague meets every one of your expectations, you will continue to run into issues of timing and communication as you proceed down the publishing path. That's just how it is, sometimes.

Remember - publishing with a university press means that it will likely take another 1.5 to 3 years to publish your book. We finally approved an ms that was first presented to us ELEVEN years ago. It was not a pretty process.

[Writer]

20. You are absolutely correct in how to approach him...

professional and to the point. Certainly.

Over the years I've known him, and certainly this last year, I thought we were striking up a friendship. He is an extremely informal person, but beyond that there's no use wasting time with someone who will not cooperate.

Thanks for your input. :hi:

[Writer]

22. Thanks everyone for your advice.

I have written a succinct letter to him. I am taking control of the entire situation. Let's see what happens.

Take care,

Writer. :hi:

[rug]

24. Dump him and write a romance novel.

[Writer]

25. (snort)

A romance novel about an idiot professor who is fucking up an extremely good project... for himself, that is.

Ha!