The Fine Print

[arwalden]

Not valid where prohibited by law.
Some restrictions may apply.

[arwalden]

1. Batteries Not Included

[Rowdyboy]

2. Do not use this hair dryer

under water

[felonious thunk]

3. Some assembly required

For more information, calls us between 9am and 1:47pm Mountain Time, M, Th, Sa and every other even numbered Tue.

[ProudGerman]

4. Robb is a dingbat

You'd be surprised where you'll find that one.

[twistedliberal]

5. Silica gel - DO NOT EAT

n/t

[Squeech]

6. Opening the shrinkwrap

constitutes acceptance of the licensing agreement, which is found on the inside of the package, so you can't read it until you tear open the shrinkwrap.

You now owe Bill Gates your first born male child.

[Jim Sagle]

7. Flaw

[jimbo fett]

8. If rash occurs, discontinue usage.

[Richardo]

9. The large print giveth and the small print taketh away....

"Step Right Up"
Tom Waits

<jazzy bass line>

...'Cause it's effective, it's defective, it creates household odors,
It disinfects, it sanitizes for your protection
It gives you an erection, it wins the election
Why put up with painful corns any longer?
It's a redeemable coupon, no obligation, no salesman will visit your home

We got a jackpot, jackpot, jackpot, prizes, prizes, prizes, all work guaranteed
How do we do it, how do we do it, how do we do it, how do we do it
We need your business, we're going out of business
We'll give you the business
Get on the business end of our going-out-of-business sale
Receive our free brochure, free brochure
Read the easy-to-follow assembly instructions, batteries not included
Send before midnight tomorrow, terms available,
Step right up, step right up, step right up
You got it buddy: the large print giveth, and the small print taketh away
Step right up, you can step right up, you can step right up
C'mon step right up
(Get away from me kid, you bother me...)
Step right up, step right up, step right up, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon
Step right up, you can step right up, c'mon and step right up,
C'mon and step right up ....

(+lots lots more) :-)

[arwalden]

10. Do not drive or operate heavy machinery.

[Rabrrrrrr]

11. Not to be used for the other use

[TXlib]

13. Damn, I was going to post that!

[Rabrrrrrr]

Caution: Blades MAY become detached

[Richardo]

12. "Please keep out of children"

[twistedliberal]

23. Hey, my Dad has one of those cutters!

Showed it to me a few years ago.

[TXlib]

14. Do not insert in mouth or anus

[TXlib]

15. May cause anal leakage

[Aristus]

16. Results not typical.

Void where prohibited.

[TXlib]

17. Part of this complete breakfast

[LiviaOlivia]

18. Intended for Home use only

[Rabrrrrrr]

19. May cause genital warts, palpitations, icthyosis, and/or gout

[Lars39]

20. Under penalty of law this tag not to be removed

except by the consumer.

[Rabrrrrrr]

21. Caution: Welder becomes extremely hot; do not touch

[trof]

22. Man, that is some FINE print.

Mighty fine.
Finest kinda print.
So fine.
Yeah.
purty

[catzies]

24. Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Ball.

Failure to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun Ball, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.

[arwalden]

25. Endorsing this check indicates approval to switch long distance carriers.