Getting Married and Need Advice Re: Name Change

[cedahlia]

I'm getting married in March, and I always thought I would keep my own name, exactly as it is, but over the past few weeks, I've had second thoughts. I do feel strongly that I don't want to lose my own last name, and if I did take his last name it would be either like this: (for example)

"Hillary Rodham Clinton"

or

"Hillary Rodham-Clinton"

However, I don't know if doing the above is actually more trouble than it's worth, or what. For instance, in the first example, where no hyphen is used, what is actually your last name? When filling out forms, would you write Clinton as your last name, and then write Hillary Rodham as your first name, or would Rodham have to be considered only a middle name? Have you, or others you know, experienced lots of problems and annoyances with doing either of the above?

Maybe I'm just thinking this to death, but I'd like to hear some different opinions and experiences with changing/not changing one's name. Damn near all of my friends and family have gone the "traditional" route, so being the radical nonconformist that I apparently am, I don't have much to go by. Any thoughts on the matter would be appreciated!

[DuctapeFatwa]

1. It doesn't matter. Except on your tax return, passport, etc nobnody cares

You can use your original name for business purposes, if you don't want to confuse your clients, and your husband's name for social purposes, if you move in a conservative milieu who might care one way or the other, and you can always go to Latin America and be Hilary Rodham de Clinton.

[Kamika]

2. When I marry I'll take his

I'll go with my name then mylastname-hislastname

[beawr]

3. In our family

my wife uses her birth name except when dealing with issues that involve the family as a unit.

[NNadir]

4. We got married in Nevada, at one of those quickie chapels in Lake Tahoe.

My wife asked if whether she had to decide then and there whether to take my name. The clerk said she could use either name so long as she didn't do it for purposes of fraud. That's exactly what she did. She used my name for a time, but finally decided just to use her own. I'm glad. I love her name, which has a certain amount of character. So if Nevada is like everywhere else, you can do what you please.

Interestingly, when our first son was born we decided to give him my wife's last name. I had to sign a release (in New Jersey) saying that it was OK with me. If we had done the opposite ("normal") thing, and given the boys my name, no such release was required. More than a little sexist, I think.

What's most important is not the name. It's the marriage. Good luck and good love.

[northzax]

47. is it sexist, really?

after all, the mother is actually present during the birth (kinda by definition) and has to sign the birth certificate. The father does not.

[Ilsa]

5. My legal documents have

"Hilary Rodham Clinton" style on them. I skipped the hyphen business. What if we had a girl and she had our hyphened name and decided to hyphenate with her husband? Too confusing.

Most people know me as "Hilary Clinton" style. But I didn't want to hang on to my given middle name, either.

Good luck with your decision. And Best Wishes for your marriage! (The important part.)

[arwalden]

6. After My Mom's Third Marriage Ended...

she went back to her FIRST married last name rather than going back to her original last name. (Which is fine... because that's MY last name.)

I don't believe that my dad was too thrilled about it.

So... I'll step in to this thread and be the TOTALLY UNROMANTIC jerk and remind others (not you because I know you'll do fine) but OTHERS might consider that by not changing your name now, you won't have to change it back later.

-- Allen

[aquart]

30. My mother did that.

She's Nina (My Father's Last Name) (My Step-Father's Last Name)

[Liberal Christian]

7. So many options

My sister kept her own name, but gave his name to the kids.

My middle brother's wife kept her own name, but gave her last name to the kids as a second middle name and his as their last name.

My oldest and youngest brothers and their wives both hyphenated their names so they all use herlastname-hislastname. The oldest brother and his wife don't have kids and, now that they're both 50, probably won't. The youngest brother and his wife are expecting their first and will give the child the hyphenated name.

I stayed single and kept my name :)

I had friends from grad school that took part of hers and part of his and combined them to make a new name.

I had a professor in grad school who didn't take her husband's name the first time around, but in her second marriage decided to take his last name, using her family name as her middle name. She felt that this symbolized, for her, a greater willingness to bond. She always emphasized that she didn't want her choice and rationale to be somehow determinative for others.

[rfranklin]

8. How about having HIM change his name?

Just a thought.

[ScrewyRabbit]

9. My wife kept her name

for aesthetic reasons -- hers sounds better than mine!

BTW, even if you go that route you can always just use your husband's when it's convenient, eg, you're on vacation and your husband made the travel arrangements under his name...

[Missy Vixen]

10. I have two last names

with no hyphen. I got married in my early 30's; the thought of changing my name was fairly traumatic. DH told me that I was free to keep my name, add his name, or whatever I felt comfortable with.

My legal name is Julie (maiden name) (husband's surname). I write both names on every form that requires "last name". I spend a lot of time spelling both names, but that's okay. Most people know me as Julie (husband's surname,) that's fine.

You should take the name you feel most comfortable with.

Interestingly enough, we have met several young women fairly recently whose fiances have told them that if they don't take the new husband's surname, the wedding's off.

Julie

[blondeatlast]

11. I basically have two names--professionally I use my given surname

and socially I use his. It's a bit confusing though.

[Piperay]

12. I would just keep

my own name, such as Hillary Rodham if I got married (I'm not and I don't intend to marry). My aunt who was a liberated woman way back before anyone even knew what that was (in the 40's, 50's early 60's) was married three times (bad luck...one was killed, one was a bigamist and the last one she outlived) and kept her own name, she had her own business and property. Kind of ironic many people called her husband Mr. 'Rodham', he wasn't bothered he though it was funny. :-)

[Nikia]

13. Some people do things differently

A minister at the church I attended in college and his wife both took each others name and hyphenated it. They both had her last name-his last name as their last name. A professor and his wife had multisylable last names and combined the two.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

56. Just like John Ono Lennon

Yep, he had it changed to that when he married Yoko.

[MrsMatt]

14. I chose the option of keeping all my names

first name
middle name
original last name
married last name

no hyphens. That can be confusing, as some people will ADD a hyphen, and then it's difficult to remember which places have your information filed under "original last name" and which ones are under "married last name",

I did know of a couple who hyphenated their names but flipped them depending on the person - i.e. David Smith married Sally Jones. David became David Smith-Jones and Sally became Sally Jones-Smith)

[cedahlia]

18. I like that idea, too

It would be a long name, but that way I wouldn't be giving up anything, just adding something (which would be good for me since I don't want to give up my unusual middle name in the process either.) But what is considered to be your last name then? Are you commonly known as (for instance) "Sally Jones Smith" or just "Sally Smith." Because if people just disregard your original last name and refer to you only by your married last name, doesn't this defeat the purpose of keeping your original last name?

Is what I just asked thoroughly confusing???:crazy:

[northzax]

48. it is a nice idea

but if my gf and I did that, it would take my full name up to 37 letters, and hers up to 41...

[MrsMatt]

49. Professionally, I go by

Sally Jones Smith.

In my personal life I go by either Sally Jones Smith or Sally Smith. There's no hard and fast rule - sometimes I'm just too lazy to get into the whole "Jones Smith" no hyphen routine.

It seems to work and I always get my mail, which is the important thing.

good luck with the impending wedding!

[DemExpat]

15. I've kept my own name, and given his name to our kids....

For emotional reasons, I did not want to relinquish my name and take on another!

:hi:

Congratulations with your marriage...best of luck and happiness to you both!

:toast: :toast: :toast:

DemEx

[Ramsey]

16. I kept my last name

First, I already have four names, I just didn't need five. Secondly, I have a number of publications under my own name, so I figured I'd be better off to keep it.

I did once have to convince a car rental lady in Kentucky that we were indeed married even though we have different last names. :eyes:

[abrupt]

17. added his

I kept my name and added his . Do whatever you feel comfortable with.

[Robb]

19. Mrs. Robb did not take my last name

...and only partially because it would have sounded funny. :) Mostly, we talked about it and decided we didn't know who that person would be, exactly, whereas we knew who the person with her given name was -- and it could be argued I fell in love with that person.

A little weird, perhaps, but there were many advantages, in terms of all the name-change crap we didn't have to fill out.

Another couple we know contracted both their names, to the general dismay of most people (including their daughter), since the result was more obnoxious than imaginable (think "Rumplestilskinsteinmann", only even worse).

Whatever you decide, the joy is you can always refer to him here as "Mr. Cedahlia". ;)

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

57. Can't blame her. Who'd like to be Ms. Dingbat? (nt)

[Kathy in Cambridge]

20. Friends of Mine Chose a Completely Different last Name

That may be an option if you don't like one another's last names.

I kept my maiden name for business purposes. I also have lots of family in the area and people know me as "Jane Sullivan", so it can help when trying to get things done, get out of speeding tickets, etc.

[elfwitch]

21. I did....

I went from an easily pronounceable four letter last name to an impossible to pronounce eight letter last name.

I figured... What's in a name? (to quote a famous poet)
It is a pain in the butt to get all your id's and such done, but in the long run I think it works out better, especially if you ever want to have kids.

[silverlib]

22. I went back to my name...

seven years after a divorce and just prior to my second and current marriage.

My father had no sons, so it was a sentimental thing with me.

I carried the insurance in my family for a while and the cards came to my husband with my last name.

He simply asked me to call the insurance company and let them know that he decided not to change his name when he married.

Congratulations on your marriage! Be sure and do what makes you happy. Life is too short to have any regrets.

[cally]

23. I kept my own name

and my children have my last name as their middle name and my husband's last name. The only time I wish I had done it differently is dealing with my kid's schools. I always have to say that I am their mother. I had planned to merge our names and not hyphenate them. My husbands family were so dismayed that he caved and kept his own name. He regrets it now.

[ironflange]

24. Mrs. Ironflange took my last name

She didn't even consider keeping her old one, she didn't like it as it was hard to pronounce, and her first name went really well with the new surname. It doesn't really matter either way, my sister kept her surname, both times.

[TXDemGal]

25. I won't give advice

because only you can decide what's best for you. Instead, I'll just tell you what I did and why.

The hubby and I married in 1988 and are still going strong. We were both 24 and in graduate school at the time. I did not change my name, i.e., I didn't take some combo of my name-his name, I just kept calling myself by my birth name. This was fine with hubby. For some reason, my mother and brother (1 yr. younger) seemed to have a problem with my decision at the time. My brother, for reasons unfathomable to me, apparently still does. Last fall during a drunken rant, he threw in a comment about "When are you going to change your name to 'Mrs. His Name' already?!"

My reasons were: I didn't want to go through the hassle of changing my documents and establishing a credit history under a different name; I had published under my name and wanted continuity in that respect; and I wanted people to be able to find me under my given name down the line. I'd seen after my mother-in-law's death how old friends who never knew her married name lost contact and weren't able to get in touch again until they contacted the family after her death, when her maiden name was listed in a locally published obituary.

Only one female childhood friend did not change her name upon marriage, but her marriage didn't last long anyway, so she just stayed the same as she always was. All my other female friends from childhood and college took their husband's names. One friend wanted to keep just her name, but her husband told her he wouldn't marry her if she didn't at least hyphenate. (To me, that attitude would have been a big red flag, but they're still happily married 10 yrs. later.)

Best wishes with your decision and happiness to you and your husband-to-be on your upcoming marriage.

[bubblesby2002]

26. Kept my own name

My father died just before we got married, three girls in the family, the other two took their husbands' names, so I was the only one left with the family name. Also didn't want to go through the hassle of changing credit cards, business name etc etc. Thought about hyphenating both our names but when you said it out loud, it had an obscene ring to it.

I did a lot of travel and he used to come with me quite a bit - they always called him Mr. Bubblesby. He thought it was funny.

When he died I didn't have to change anything back.

However, it is a personal choice, and there have been times when people didn't believe we were married. I could have cared less.

Godd luck Good luck Good luck

[neebob]

27. If I had it to do over

I'd keep my name. When I got divorced, they asked me if I wanted to drop the married name, and I said no because my son was a baby and I did not yet know it makes no difference whatsoever if his last name is different from mine.

A couple years later, I decided I wanted my old name back, only I hadn't notified the Social Security Administration of the name change when I got married because I didn't know I was supposed to. So now I had two Social Security accounts, and to put them back together I had to go to the SSA and show my Social Security card and marriage certificate - neither of which I had in my possession. Little did I know the card my mother had given me was just a stub.

So I picked up my maiden name informally and became a person with two last names, no hyphen. Not only did it take years to stick; it resulted in yet another conversation piece - as if I didn't have enough of those, being a 6-foot woman with an unusual first name - and filing confusion. I always get to guess whether I'm filed under one letter or the other and sometimes get grief about it. This old granny at the eye doctor's said, "You girls with two last names!"

Then we have the people who insist on hyphenating me, including my ex. I think he does it just to bug me. And 14 years later, I still haven't gotten around to straightening out the Social Security thing. Once I do that, I'll have to pay to go back to my original name legally and change all my accounts and stuff. Not to mention the extra long signature.

Keep your name.

[Susang]

28. Why would you want to change it?

No flames, just curious.

I did not change my name when I married, since I just can't get past the fact that the name change originally meant ownership. I know it doesn't mean that anymore really, but I still can't see the point.

[Anwen]

29. I'm glad you posted this question...

I am getting married next year and I have also been trying to figure out what to do about the name situation. Hyphen or no hyphen? I am leaning towards the "Hillary Rhodam Clinton" choice..

[maggrwaggr]

31. Good lord, you're getting married, take his name

he will be flattered and grateful and your kids will thank you.

What's the point in keeping your old name. YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED. NOTHING WILL BE THE SAME.

Get used to it.

My wife took my name and I was very pleased. The fact that she's Mrs. (my last name) is a very big deal to me.

If she hadn't, I would have subconsciously questioned her commitment for the rest of my life.

If you're not ready to take his name, you're not ready to be married.

[kath]

33. Umm, if you're so committed to her, then why didn't you take HER name?

hmmmmm.

Cuz you're the boss of the house, and she's supposed to submit to you, etc,etc, etc.??

[dawn]

40. What?

My husband insisted that I keep my own name. He likes it, and would prefer me to do the "rodham clinton" thing if I was to take his. And we aren't having kids, so that's not an issue.

So I was not ready to be married unless I took his name? Eh? I'm glad I didn't marry someone with values like yours. I guess our marriage is a sham, then? Forget about love, it's taking a man's name that shows that you'd be a good wife! haha

And what do you need to get used to, then? Why must the woman give up her name because she wants to marry?

[rbnyc]

42. You really would have questioned her commitment...

...if she wanted to keep her own name, the name she's been pouring meaning into for her entire life?

And you REALLY think that if a woman is not willing to give up her own birth name, then she is not ready to get married?

I think your judgment is wrong and reflects very screwed up values I'm sorry to say. Also, I find it very personally insulting as I am part of a very happy and healthy marriage and never for one second considered giving up my own name.

It IS a sexist attitude because men are not asked to make the same decision. And it is a superficial attitude, because a shared name is the very least and most emblematic thing that makes a family.

I can understand if you have some sentimental feelings about your wife taking your name, but to measure other people's marriages by that is unfair. And to measure your wife's actual devotion to you by that gesture is probably inaccurate.

I'm a writer and a musician, so in my case especially my name reflects years of work and reputation building.

Anyway, I'm very lucky that my husband doesn't need that kind of surface token in order to have confidence in our partnership.

[cedahlia]

51. Good lord, back at ya!

I have to respectfully disagree with you that there is no point in keeping my "old name." It means a lot to me to keep my name, and my fiancee does not have a problem with this. He is comfortable with my keeping my name as it is, or adding his, in whatever way I might decide. Frankly, if he did have as much of a problem with the whole name thing as you have, then I don't think he'd be the right person for me anyway.

Changing one's name has nothing to do with commitment. We have already been solidly committed to each other for 8 years...that's actually years longer than the marriages of some of my friends have lasted (and in each of those cases, the women had changed their names, by the way!) If your idea about name changing being a sign of commitment were correct, then why do so many marriages where the woman has completely changed her name end in divorce?

Unfortunately, it's inevitable that whatever I decide, it's probably going to piss off people in both of our families. The reality is that a lot of people do think the way you do, but I can't worry about doing what's going to make you or anyone else most comfortable. It does not offend me personally when a woman chooses to change her name to her husbands...it's a personal choice, and I'm just happy that feminism has afforded women a choice as to what they would like to do with their names. But to those who would raise a huge fuss about my own personal decision somehow being wrong...I will use your quote and say: "Get used to it." ;-)

Just curious, how comfortable would you have been with completely changing your own name to that of your wife's upon marriage?

[kath]

32. Very few men would want to change THEIR name to hers, so why should

the woman be expected to give up HER identity??? The power politics of this deal just stink, IMHO.

I like the idea of a ceremonial coin toss at the wedding -- heads the couple take her name, tails they take his!

Or combine the two names -- a new name for a new family.

[Xithras]

34. Will you have kids? What will you give them?

Will they take your last name, his last name, or will they be hyphenated too (keep in mind that, with hyphenated names for kids, your children will probably be cursing you as they learn to write)?

Keep this in mind: If your name differs from the name of your child, people will ask you to prove your relationship to them for the rest of your life (at schools, hospitals, etc.) If you hypenate their name, you are simply sidestepping the issue and forcing your kids to deal with it (could you imagine a hypothetical "Barbara Smith-Jones" marrying a hypothetical "John Thomas-Williams"? Their children would get RSI from writing their names!)

My advice? Decide now, before you get married, whether or not you want children and what their names will be. Then change your name accordingly (or make him change his).

[cedahlia]

54. Kids

We don't plan on having any. At the moment, neither of us want any, but who knows what the future holds, so...

If by some chance later on we did have kids, what we would do is give the child my last name as a middle name, but have his last name be the child's last name. I wouldn't do the hyphen thing for the very reasons you mentioned.

[LWolf]

35. Wow.

Complicated questions.

I don't know about the legalities.

I've had 3 different last names in my lifetime, and would like to change it one more time to something not connected to any of those men; father or husbands.

[rbnyc]

36. My vote, keep your name as it is.

I'm so glad I kept my name. If I had changed my name, I would have had so much difficulty with my insurance and disability leave and everything else that I had to deal with because of the car accident a day and a half before my wedding.

But if you really want both names, hyphenate. Otherwise your name will end up getting lost. I know when entering donor names in our donor database at work, unless the last name is hyphenated, the second name almost always gets lost. There's no field for it, and the protocol is to enter the last name only in the last name field.

[NicoleM]

37. I changed my name because

I hated my maiden name and I don't speak to my father, so there was no need to keep it. Also, after my mom remarried, she had a different last name than my sister and I did, and it was kind of weird. But I suppose if she had started out with a different last name it wouldn't have been a big deal.

I have a cousin who is First Middle Maiden Hislast, and she considers her maiden name to be her second middle name. So she goes by First Hislast, but Maiden is still there.

[Solomon]

38. When in Rome, do as the romans do.

Me and my wife briefly considered what to do 22 years ago. I admit, I vetoed the hyphen thing because I can't stand it with other names. It's a pain in the ass. For people I didn't know growing up, I always get the damn hyphenated names mixed up, i.e. is it Dale-Jones, or Jones-Dale? My wife after thinking about it, agreed that the hyphen would be awkward. If you address somebody using only one name, are you insulting them or what? I just never liked it though I can clearly see the reasoning behind it.

My wife wound up using her maiden name as her middle name. No hyphen, and we didn't give the daughter a hyphenated last name. I think you should consider keeping your own name if you are professionally known by that name because of publications or something. Otherwise, even though it's not fair, a family should have one name to avoid confusion. If society dictated that men should take the wife's name, I would have no problem with that. To me it's a matter of convention.

[skippysmom]

39. took my husband's last name

But only because I hated my last name. It contained a pejorative term and when I was a kid I got made fund of a lot. And when I was an adult I kept having people ask me, "gee, you must have been made fun of a lot as a kid." Really? I never would have thought.

If I'd liked my name I would have kept it. I built up a 30 year identity with that name. And changing my name was a real hassle.

[Kamika]

41. omg

What was it? :D

[skippysmom]

43. dork (nm)

[LanternWaste]

44. Here's my take on it...

Here's my take on it...


If a person refuses to change their last name after marriage occurs citing concerns that she (or he) would lose a part of their identity, then that person really has a problem with their identity in the first place.

I've never know a person whose fundamental identity changed due to a name change. To me, it's as silly as the argument kids use (and I used it too) that "clothes are an extension of my personality". If that's the case, I must be a pretty insecure individual to allow myself to be identified by clothes (or a name).

I am who I am. Clothes don't change that. Names don't change that. And if I feel it neccesary to allow my clothes or name to even act as an example or an indicator of who I am, then I'd have to allow for the fact that I may have a somwhat low self-esteem problem.

Also, on another train of thought...to me, marriage becomes the defining role in your life after you get married. Two become one. And the sharing of the last name is an emphatic statement that says, "We are no longer soley identified as two people. We are also identified as one couple."

Now, before I get accused of sexism, let me also add that I was almost twice married. In both cases, the subject came up and in both cases, I entertained the idea of taking her last name if it became a subject of contention. As long as we shared the same name, the rest became almost moot.

To me, it was simply another instance that allowed me to proclaim to all the world, "We are married! We are one! We are more imporant than Me. We are more imporant than She. We are!" (although I eventually didn't marry either one, both instances got so close that announcment were being printed, etc...) Or, in other words, it's a de-facto statment that I (and she) prioritized the union of us more than we prioritized the individual natures of us.

But, on the other hand... I'm kinda sappy and traditional when it comes to marriages. I think the sum of the parts should be celebrated more than the parts themselves and sharing a name is simply another celebration of the sum. But, then again, I'm still single; so make of that what you wish.... :)

BTW: Good luck and you and your (future) husband have all my prayers for a long and blessed union. :toast:

[ScreamingMeemie]

45. Well, when my husband adopted our daughter we kept my

maiden name as part of her name. It's now part of her middle name on her birth certificate. On her SS card It's an initial after her given middle name. :hi:

[VOX]

46. My wife kept her name...

Second marriage for us both -- she want to keep her birth name for personal and professional reasons, and I understood completely.

I understand that her committment comes from her heart, not by what other people call her, or how her business card reads.

[commander bunnypants]

50. Do what is most comfortable for you

eom


DDQM

[JackDragna]

52. First bit of advice:

Don't get married.

[Lostmessage]

53. I would live in Sin

Of course I haven't sinned in a long time so my views might be a bit warped.

[Melsky]

55. I took hubby's name

I grew up with a hyphenated name (both parents names). It was confusing.

My husband told me he would accept whatever decision I made on the name. I can't imagine marrying someone who would try and make me take their name! My husband was very happy with the decision though.

I decided that way because to me it makes us feel like more of a family unit. I've never wished that I kept my name.

[jimbo fett]

58. How about going with one name? I suggest "Madonna."

[qb]

59. I took my wife's name

She liked her name, but would've taken mine. I didn't care about my name, so that's how it worked out. Unless your career is somehow dependent upon keeping your name, what's the big deal about changing it?

I think the hyphen thing got out of control. What is the next generation supposed to do with an already hyphenated name?

If you keep your original name as a middle name, that's cool. I would just use it as a middle name - include it on forms and in your signature if you want. Consider your last name to be your new last name, not a combination of the two.

Just for kicks, ask your fiance what he thinks about changing his name.

[MissMillie]

60. I'm never changing my name

Too much work.

And since my son has my last name, he will have a parent w/ the same last name.

[happyslug]

61. Legally

In most states, there is NO law requiring a woman to take her husband's name (and never has been, it was custom not law that had the woman taking her husband's last name).

In fact most states permit anyone to change their name for any reason or no reason as long as it is done for non-fraudulent reasons (i.e. you can change your name but not to George W. Bush so you can sell pardons). And the name change does NOT need court approval.

Now some states have restricted this right, for example my home state of Pennsylvania says that ex-felons can NOT change their names without court approval. Thu you may want to check with a lawyer for your state.

Now some practical advice, I had two sisters who married, both tried to keep their maiden name. The one ho was married to a Civilian has no problems, the other married to an navy enlisted personal had all types of problems. The US Navy (and I suspect the rest of the services) could not handle the idea that a wife would have a different name than her husband.

After a while she found it easier to change her name than to continue to fight the US Navy bureaucracy. She would point out she did not HAVE to adopt his last name, she would WIN at that fight, but she always had to fight. It was an on-going battle that she finally realized wearing her down and not worth the fight, she changed her name to his.

I would like to blame this on the Military bureaucracy being sexist, but I am reminded of the Story of how General (and later President) Grant became US Grant. When he was accepted into West Point his name was Samuel A. Grant, but somehow the Army had him down as U.S. Grant. Grant found it easier to change his name to Ulysses Simpson Grant (Thus having his name match what the U.S. the Army had as his initials) than to have the Army Bureaucracy change their paperwork. The same with my sister, it was easier for the Navy to accept all wives as using their Husband’s name than to set up a connection between the wives name and their husband’s names. Bureaucracy tend to be lazy, and the lazy way was to treat all wife’s as using their Husband’s name. This is what my sister had to fight and I believe the Military is still that way i.e. it assumes wives adopt their husband’s last name.

[Skittles]

62. WOMEN WILL NEVER ACHIEVE TRUE EQUALITY

IF THEY KEEP TAKING THEIR HUSBANDS' NAMES. *PERIOD*

[dpbrown]

63. My wife kept her own name

Most people in the world do.

The custom in Asia is for the woman to keep her own name, and the children, if any, to take the last name of the father.

Take that for what it's worth.

I don't think changing your name is worth it. It's your name. You don't become property by virtue of having become married, after all.

Dan Brown
Saint Paul, Minnesota

[CanuckAmok]

64. we took eachother's names...

so now we're both "first name his surname-her surname".

Talk about sexism, it was free for Mrs. Amok to add my surname to hers, but it cost me $230 to add hers to mine.