"It's turkey time. Gobble, gobble."

[NightTrain]

Just got home from work and found this rather amusing e-mail from my friends Steve and Helen. Hope you get a chuckle or two out of it as I did!

"Gigli."

Yes, Steve and I rented it. Why? We figured it would be a great unintentional comedy, Ed Wood-style. We love bad movies-- Swept Away was brilliant, so was Enough with J. Lo... But I digress...

This is a summary of our Gigli experience:

--- 3:30 pm-put Gigli in DVD player. All settled with snacks and drinks for a high quality bad movie viewing experience.

---- Ben Affleck's character shoves and pushes and yells obscenities at a developmentally disabled character. Not funny.

----- Ben says "fuck" a lot.

---- Christopher Walken has an embarrassing cameo. It made us cringe.

---- J. Lo gives a lecture on how to severely disable someone using Tai Chi (or some such bullshit) to some street thugs so that they will turn down their radio. She calls this "people skills." I'm not kidding, stay with me here...

At this point, Steve gets up to play with the cat. He is politely waiting for me to finish so that we can watch something else. I hit the skip button and pray that something interesting will happen... So I get this gem...

---- Ben gives a big LOOONNGGG and boring lecture to J. Lo on how men give better head than women. His speech is littered with "fucks" and "y'know"?

And J.Lo is acting all coy and clever as she does yoga stretches. She shows off her rear end in the "downward dog' position.

Hit skip again----

--- the disabled character tells Ben his "penis sneezes" after he sees a sexy woman on Baywatch. Hit rewind and subtitle function-- yes, he really said that....

Hit skip again---

---- J.Lo finally gives in to Ben's goomba charm and gives him the green light to go down on her. She says, "it's turkey time." "gobble gobble" and "show me what I've been missing all my life-- give me some of that heterolingus."

Hit skip twice-- get to end credits. The timer on the DVD reads 1 hour and 52 minutes.

I am in awe. "Gigli" wins.

--Helen

[Rowdyboy]

1. Gag! Though there was no chance I would ever rent this

ythere's even less now...Whew...that stank

[Deja Q]

2. I wonder how much the witless duo got for making that trash...

Total waste of materials involved.

And I know they're big names in this bizarroworld of a society we're in, so they probably got paid big $$$ for doing it.

I wonder how long they'll remain credible though...

[liberalmuse]

3. 'Gobble, gobble'?

'Ooh baby, talk turkey to me.' Well, it ain't 'Casablanca', that's for sure. LOL! The name of the movie itself should warn people away. I love bad movies too, but one with both JLo and Affleck would be too much for even the so-bad-it's-fun-to-watch movie lover to bear.