Has anyone here ever been found by relatives that you didn't know about?

[Blue Diadem]

It's a long story and I'll try to make it brief.

This morning I received a call from two first cousins who I had no idea existed. My Mom was an only child born in 1918, raised by my grandmother. My Mom never knew her father. She was told he died in WWI and was told at some point in her life by one of her cousins that she was born out of wedlock.

I've looked for a very long time online..always wondering who my grandfather was, what he was like, if he had other relatives.

I received a call this morning from a lady telling me that they finally found us and quite by accident. They were searching a 1920 census and found their grandfather listed with my grandmother as his wife and my mother as their child. They did some more searching and sent away for her death certificate and that's how they got my brother's name and my name.

My grandfather apparently didn't die in WWI. He was actually married to my grandmother and they divorced. He also had 4 more children. I can't believe that my Mom had siblings..and one is still alive..and I have cousins! OMG..I'm still in a state of shock!

Has anyone here ever had this type of experience. We're going to plan to meet..probably here and I'm just so nervous I don't know what stuff to gather up. I know to get the old pictures out..but I don't know what else.

I'm in shock, I still can't believe I have an entire side to my family I didn't know about.

[skygazer]

1. Families are strange

Family dynamics are strange. I'd be willing to bet that almost everyone has strange events in their family that they may never know about.

My oldest sister passed away last year. She was my half-sister actually or that's what I'd been told. She was from my father's first marriage, a short-lived union during WWII. Her mother was somewhat unstable and when they divorced, my dad kept her. He re-married my mom, they had 5 kids, I always thought of my older sister as my sister, not my half-sister.

Turns out she wasn't even that. When she was dying, it somehow came out that she was not my dad's kid! His wife had gotten pregnant by his best friend (some friend!) and my dad married her. I'm not sure of the whole story but I got the idea that he did that because the friend abdicated. Anyhow, it didn't work, he took my sister and raised her as his own.

I never would have expected anything quite so honorable from my father and of course it didn't make a bit of difference to how I felt about my sister who as far as any of us are concerned was always our sister. But it was a shock and I'll bet there are things like that in most families.

Hope your meeting goes well. :hi:

[Blue Diadem]

9. Yes Skygazer, families can be strange. I think back in that time

people kept things private and just never thought to share those private things with anyone else in the family.

Your Dad was an honorable man and it sounds like your sister was lucky to have him in her life.

I think I understand how you feel about your sister. My oldest brother is actually 1/2 sibling and I've never once thought of him that way..he's always been my big brother.

[hfojvt]

2. usually I find them

but they are more distant, like 3rd or 4th or 6th cousins, and they do not really care. Although I visited some in Deutschland and Switzerland and that was definitely neat. Stayed with a 4th cousin for 3 days in Switzerland. There was a younger brother of my great-great grandfather whose son was not heard from and I found his widow through the internet and then called his kids and sent them a copy of a picture of their grandfather (who they never knew because he died in a plane crash when their father was about 3. Plus I sent them the pedigree back to 1705.

I have alot of messages out there on genealogy sites and there are half-siblings of my grandfather that I would like to find, but it's kinda tough in California.

[Blue Diadem]

10. That's cool!

I haven't had much luck with finding my side of the family..due to extremely common names except for my Mother's. The maternal side of her family as well as my Dad have extremely common names.

My DH's family came over in the early 1900's. I've always thought how neat it would be to find some of his relatives in Austria.

[hfojvt]

16. it's not that hard if you know what town they came from

at least as long as it is a small town. Then I googled the town and the surname and looked for an email address. Chances are good too, that the Mormon library has a microfilm copy of the church records for that town.

[Blue Diadem]

21. I will check into that Mormon library.

Is that information on microfilm available online or do copies have to be ordered?

[hfojvt]

26. The library catalog is at

www.familysearch.org but you have to order films to a branch library. It costs $3.25 for 60 days and can be renewed twice (and after that it is there permanently). I think the website may tell you where your nearest branch library is too. There are quite a few of them.

[femmocrat]

3. Yes, following the decline of the USSR ....

We had relatives from what is now the Slovak Republic. They are the grandchildren of my dad's cousin. We kept in touch for awhile, but then lost track of them again.

Also when my uncle died, we found out that he had a daughter that we never knew about. She never contacted us, though. I'm not even sure why her name was listed in the obit since no one knew her.

[Blue Diadem]

15. I bet that was a surprise.

Was the girl adopted or just lived with her Mom maybe?

It's difficult and kinda scary(maybe fear of rejection) for some people to contact relatives that you've never met. I'm still trying to get up my courage to contact an Aunt on my Dad's side.

[femmocrat]

31. Well.....

we think she was (shhhh!) "illegitimate."! My uncle married late in life, so we think she was from his days as a sailor! Shocking!

[Skittles]

4. I found a half brother

product of an affair my dad had

[Blue Diadem]

17. If I may ask..do you keep in contact?

Were you able to meet face to face?

[Skittles]

34. yes and yes

he is British - my dad told me about him when I was 19 and he was 16.......31 years ago. We write, email; he has stopped to see me twice while on business in America and I have seen him twice in England :)

[Phentex]

5. I think that's so cool!

I agree, I'd be shocked!

We don't have anything close to your story in my family. I do have a niece "out there" somewhere who doesn't realize she's got a huge family on her birth mom's side.

I hope you have a great time getting to know your family.

[Blue Diadem]

11. Thanks Phentex

I'm still all hyped up from this morning's shock. I just can't wait to meet someone from my Grandfather's family.

[Coventina]

6. A few years ago, I received an inheritance from a relative I didn't know existed!

That was pretty amazing!

And a nice little windfall, better than a poke in the eye, for sure!

[Blue Diadem]

18. How neat..and what a surprise!

A former neighbor of mine had that happen. I don't remember how close the relative was..but she lived in another state and left my neighbor a small inheritance through life insurance or something along that line. She didn't find out about it until somebody called her trying to get a fee for unclaimed funds.

[LaurenG]

7. Yes but it wasn't on purpose

Several years ago when I loved in Texas, I had a friend who was stationed at the Army base there. We had invited him for a barbecue and he asked if he could bring his buddy who had been stationed there just recently and of course we said yes. They were both from Minnesota and Texas was a long way from home so they became good friends. During the course of the evening the fiend's friend started talking about a relative that lived somewhere in the city but he had lost the address and would have to call his folks to get the address again.

I casually asked the name of the person he was related to and offered to look in the phone book to see if the person was listed. I was shocked when he gave my fathers name to look up and gave the part of the city he lived in. I asked how he knew him and what the relationship was. After he told me who he was and how he was related to my dad I held out my hand and said nice to meet you, I'm your cousin and the relative you are looking for is my dad, I'll give you his address and phone number myself.

I know this wasn't the kind of story you were asking about but close as the guy was trying to meet my dad, whom he had never met.

[Blue Diadem]

19. Wow..that's like it was meant to happen.

Right place and the right time, what are the chances of that happening twice!

[Bzzzz]

8. My Dad...

has been trying to get me to find his youngest brother who doesn't want to be found. He left over 30 years ago and has not wanted contact since. During a trip to Arizona a few years back to visit my Mom's sister, my Aunt mentioned that she thought my Uncle lived in the same town. Dad located him and went to visit him...it was cordial, but then he moved again not wanting any contact. I want to respect his (my Uncles) wishes, but my Dad is 83 and really wants to make contact again before anything happens to him. No one really knows why my Uncle decided to be estranged from his brothers and sisters. He's lost 3 brothers and 1 sister and didn't bother to come to their funerals. Sad...

[Blue Diadem]

13. Oh Bzzzz, that's sad. I hope you're able to somehow help

your Dad locate him once again.

My cousins tell me that my Mom's surviving 1/2 brother is a very quiet private man..so I'm not sure I'll ever be able to meet my uncle.

[China_cat]

12. No, but I found out long after my grandfather died

that he was a twin. His sister is listed up until the 1910 census and then she just disappears and nobody in the family even knew she existed.

[Blue Diadem]

14. Does it give her age? Maybe she was married by the next census

Sometimes though illness took people and then family found it too painful to talk about.

[China_cat]

28. No, it's part of a really strange mystery.

The twins were 6 years old in the 1910 census but in 1908, their mother had died. Less than a year later their father was re-married and had another daughter. The weird part comes in when you realize that the first wife, mother of 4, was not buried in the family plot. She was buried in her birth family plot and there are no other graves close to her, even though the cemetery is otherwise full...2 plots on either side, to the foot and to the head with no graves.

After 1910 there is no trace of Leona whatever and no family left to ask, unfortunately. The second wife is buried in the family plot...the sons from the 1st marriage despised her, btw and no one knows the real reason why. (They were young when their mother died so it can't just be the normal resentment of a stepmother...not to mention that she is the ONLY person I ever heard my grandfather say a bad word about before Nixon) It's like Leona was abducted by aliens and everybody's memories wiped of her.

[likesmountains 52]

20. I found out in my 30s that I had a half sister...my mom had given her up in 1948..

mom was single and was sent off to a "home" for unwed mothers...

[Blue Diadem]

23. Have you ever met her?

If not, does she know about you? I hope that's not too personal to ask.

[likesmountains 52]

25. She does...she ended up meeting my mom when she was about 40..

but my mom still wanted to keep her a "secret" from the rest of us..My aunt had my 1/2 sister write me a letter and then my aunt mailed it to me...that's how I found out! That caused some real hard feelings for my mom and I sadly never wrote her back. Your thread has given me the idea to look her up now though..both my mom and aunt have died.

[Raven]

22. YES!!! At first I didn't relate to this thread but I suddenly realized

that I have a wonderful story.

I have a black sheep brother who left his first family of 3 kids and never had any contact with them again. Started a second family (two girls), left them the same way, and went on to a third. My family was always very close to the first family and didn't know that the second existed. When my father died, the two girls from the second family came to funeral. Now, imagine, you are a young kid and you go to a funeral where you know no one! They had great courage to do that. What was even better was that at the lunch after the Mass the kids from the first family took the two girls from the second family under their wing...there has been a wonderful relationship between them ever since.

I can only wonder about what my brother missed when he blew off all of these wonderful children.

[Blue Diadem]

24. That's a wonderful story. I'm glad the two girls were welcomed and

everyone was able to form a lasting relationship.

One of my brothers was sorta like yours. He had two children with his first wife..then he had his wife and his mistress both pregnant at the same time. He married his mistress after divorcing his 1st wife and together they had 5 more children. His first wife called my Mom saying their third child, a baby boy, had died during childbirth. They lived so far away our only contact was occasional phone calls..hearing that my brother was not paying child support etc.

My brother, in later years, looked high and low for a death certificate or some hospital record for that baby boy and never found one. He believed that child was probably put up for adoption. He did, before his death, get reunited with his two sons from his first marriage.

[RedG1]

27. I expect to hear from 'long lost' relatives...

after I win the Powerball

[jobycom]

30. If you do...

I'm the brother they never told you about.

[jobycom]

29. No... maybe... I don't know.

Had a weird experience. Background. I'm adopted, never gave a flying flip about finding the "birth" parents--I figure they made a good decision, and I've never felt any of those vague yearnings other adoptees sometimes feel. I rarely think about it, and sometimes forget I'm not genetically connected to my parents.

I was born in Baton Rouge, grew up on the Coast in Mississippi. Last year, on a trip back to the Coast to see my parents, I had a flat, so I stopped at a tire store somewhere around Covington or Abita Springs. This is about an hour from Baton Rouge. When I walked to the counter, the guy said "Hey, Mr. (something--didn't catch it), back again?" I looked behind me, thinking he was talking to someone else, then looked at him again. "Excuse me?"

"You were just in last week. Did you have a flat?" I shrugged, and told him I'd never been in the store before in my life, and he laughed, like I was joking. Then he realized I wasn't, and looked closer at me, and got confused. "YOu're not Mr. X?" I shrugged and shook my head. He didn't look convinced at first, but played along, took my car, and by the time I had given him all my information, he knew I wasn't him. "You look just like a regular customer of ours," he said. "Even sound like him."

I didn't think about it until later. If my "birth" relatives stayed in the area, it's possible some of them look like me. It's made me mildly curious, for the first time. Though not curious enough to do anything about it.

[Gormy Cuss]

35. Quite possible that Mr. X is a relative.

I had a friend who had a similar experience in the town where he was born. He told his mother about it and based on the surname she confirmed that because the surname was unusual all of the X's in that town were probably related.

[elehhhhna]

32. Yes. My sister tracked down our family in Holland...

met them, and got us (she, me, and our 2 brothers) invitations to the 100th Anniversary Party of the company our Great-Great Grandfather started. It was in '98 and we all went to Arnhem for the blowout.

Best. Party. Ever.

Here's one weird thing: the Dutch side of the fam did not have any info on our ancestry--while we had posession of a family tree that went back to the 1700's and includes the Family Crest. They were THRILLED to have it -- and since then we've tracked it back to exactly 1600, and found that we are actually related to the Dutch & British royals (super-distantly) as well as the Bourbons. KEWL for us.

[seemunkee]

33. Got a call from a half sister that I had never met

I found out about her when I was probably ~35-40 while going through family photos. When my mother died she saw the obituary in the paper from my home town and got in touch. We met a few times and I thought developed a good rapport but then she stopped calling. I guess I wasn't the family she was looking for.