Tell your tale of disgusting co-workers

[prolesunited]

My cubicle is next to the foulest, grossest man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.

He literally brings in BAGS of groceries each day and eats his way through his shift. And needless to say, he does it quite loudly, crunching and slurping in my ear all night long. And he must drink at least three or four Pepsis a shift, burping constantly with the occasional fart.

And his personal hygiene is even worse. He has a long, beard and mustache, in which food is constantly getting caught. He wears pants with holes in them and sweatshirts that look like he just wiped his hands on his big round belly. There's so much oil in his uncombed hair that he often looks like a troll doll.

And, I'm sorry, my bleeding heart only goes so far. He's single and makes as much (or more) than I do, so poverty can't be a reason. He owns his own house so he has access to facilities and he has a college degree, so he has the education level to know better.

I work in a professional office environment, so his behavior is completely unacceptable. Management refuses to address the situation and if you think I'm mean for complaining about this, you're welcome to sit in my seat for a week and see how nice you'll remain.

[EstimatedProphet]

1. I thought it was me until you talked about the beard :)

[prolesunited]

6. Well, sorry if you were insulted

But if that is your description, have you had a blood workup lately? I can't imagine what his sugar and cholesterol levels are eating all that garbage.

[EstimatedProphet]

13. I wasn't insulted. I was joking.

[AggieGal]

2. Do like my husband

did in high school to a smelly classmate. When the smeller was away, they put 10 sticks of deodorant on his desk and left a note saying he needed shower power and wonder stick.

[idgiehkt]

3. my boss that used to get worked up all the time and yell

and he would always spit when he yelled. But luckily we were required to wear saftey glasses so when I would see him coming I would put mine on.

[SPKrazy]

4. A doctor I work with asked me to "come here"

and he was asking me directions (new) to get from parking lot to someplace else. He said "oh, wait", and then he farted, and went "ahhh", "oh don't worry, my farts don't smell" i looked at him and kinda chuckled (what else do you do?) and tried not to breathe, and pointed the directions for him and walked out. I reported this to my supervisor who then had me report it to the chief medical officer who sat there with jaw dropped and stared at me. I mean, hey, we weren't frat brothers, I'm 45, he's I dunno, and in some other situation it might have been funny in a very juvenile way. It wasn't. He wasn't funny in his actions and how he seemed to be making it out, it was a 'power play', as in 'look at me, i can do what i want to'. Guess what? He fucked himself up by doing many other very unprofessional things, and he is no longer employed there.


I've never seen anything a doctor did taken seriously, i think he pissed off some other doctors and won't think i am responsible for his termination.

:hi:

[Connonym]

5. I have had so many

One female coworker dropped her bowl of stew on the filthy workroom floor and proceeded to scoop it back into the bowl and eat it. I still shudder when I think about it. 10 second rules are great but not with something wet and sticky, that's just disgusting.

[prolesunited]

9. That is beyond gross

She might as well of lapped it up from the floor.

Our communal refrigerator is so disgusting, I won't even put my food in there. I have a small thermal bag and an ice pack and just keep it at my desk.

[dropkickpa]

7. Fun-sucker

She farts CONSTANTLY, but never ever says excuse me (that's all we ask, we're a pretty crude bunch). And she likes to eat lunch meat all throughout the day, so the office smells like a deli most of the time.

Had an employee once when I worked retail and he refused to bathe regularly or wear deodorant until we brought out the company hand-book and highlighted the passage on appearance. Smelled like old rancid onions (a joy to deal with when I was pregnant, I assure you).

Two of the vets I work with have breath that smells like their daily lunch is a shit-sandwich, AND, they are "close-talkers". :puke: I make a point of limiting our contact to email and phone whenever possible.

[baldguy]

8. I worked with a guy moved from his desk after about five years

As he was cleaning it out, he pulled a jug of red fruit juice from the bottom of one of the drawers that had turned green & had brown chunks floating in it.

[Starbucks Anarchist]

10. My dieting co-worker.

It didn't help that I never liked her, but this girl was morbidly obese and was trying to lose weight, which I do give her credit for.

She would always end her shift by going for a run, which is fine, but then she would come back to the office and stay for an hour afterwards, reeking and sweaty.

I wanted to tell her to just head straight home and shower, but I know she wouldn't listen, anyway.

[Guava Jelly]

11. I have two

The first one I nicknamed Bigot.
He has such a hatred for people of color and isn't afraid to use the N word.
The owner knows this because I informed him of it and how repulsive it is..Here are a few lovely edited statements that rolled off his troglodyte tounge..N_____tape,N_____rich add any word before the N word and i am sure he used it followed by an ignorant laugh...On another note He parks his extra large extended cab pick up truck in the handicap spot because he is affraid of door dings.
When a sign was posted by the time clock to not park in handicap parking spots he took the sign down(the handicap parking sign where he parks his truck)...Management won't do anything about it either...

Than there is his friend another Co-worker I call him lil-bigot he told me once that in a certain part of the south black people know the deal. "bag those groceries boy" a direct quote and told me how he wishes it was like that everywhere.btw he knows i hate that kind of bullshit talk but still spews it from his F_king mouth..He is also one of those people who will stop you when you are trying to work and tell you tid bits from his life that you could care less about in full detail.
I need a new job !!:mad:

[1monster]

18. It is illegal to park in a handicapped parking spot without a handicapped

permit.

Maybe a word to the wise of a person who can write a parking ticket? I don't know what the fine is in your area, but here it is $250.00 per ticket for parking in a handicapped spot without a permit.

[datasuspect]

12. sounds like "office hacking"

i salute this man.

i'd probably ask for some of his food though.

[mike_c]

14. prolesunited? Is that YOU in the next cubicle...?

:rofl:

Kidding aside, I feel your disgust. People need to understand that work in an office environment-- and most other work, for that matter-- is a social activity.

[Turbineguy]

15. On a ship

we had a rather grotty waiter who to make matters worse would put food in front of you and tell how much you could expect to pay in a restaurant.

One day one guy looked up at him and said: "Yeah, but the waiter shaves and showers regularly!"

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

16. Years ago (my first "real" job) I had to sit next to

a woman who had the most spectacular body odor you could imagine. Of course, nobody felt like they could say anything, so she just sat there and stunk. The smell was absolutely foul; you'd almost get nauseated from this almost visible miasma of stale sweat and who knows what else. She smelled like she had never, ever washed any of her clothes. Finally some of the other employees went to the supervisor and complained because she was making the whole office kind of sick. Then she was gone -- they might have fired her; I'm not sure. I suspect she had some kind of physical problem that caused this (she was also very overweight), but this was in the early '70s when they could pretty much fire you for anything.

[prolesunited]

27. I don't think anyone should be fired for that

unless given the opportunity and advice needed to improve. At one job, we had a teen who was part of a mentor program for impoverished youth. We just gave her the proper supplies and some advice and set expectations for working in an office. And the problem was resolved. It was uncomfortable for everyone, but it worked.

Speaking of uncomfortable, I once had to counsel a woman on the inappropriate shortness of her skirts -- and she was older than 50! Granted, she had nice legs, but...

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

32. I don't either; there was probably something wrong with her.

But that was in the bad old days.

[nickgutierrez]

17. Oh, there was one woman I used to work with...

Where do I even begin?

Let's start with the fact that when she wanted something done, she wanted it right then and there. No thought put into anything that anybody else might need to do in order to get to what she needed, no thought as to how she might anger or frustrate other people, and no consideration for anybody but herself. And if it wasn't done? She'd march down there and berate the person that didn't get it done. Or, on a good day, she would stand there and wait, no doubt sighing and checking her watch and all sorts of "I'm more important than you" nonsense until it got done.

She was taking diet pills, at the time I worked with her, which caused her to pace around the very small area from the beginning of her shift until the end. Non-stop.

She had one of those ear-piercing voices, so you could hear everything she talked about with everybody. I know, you can't help that, but when she's always talking to her friends about how she got drunk and picked up this guy and that one, you get tired of it after a (very short) while. Not only that, but she talked endlessly about how she only wanted black men, ogled every black guy that came by (not an exaggeration), and referred to them, rather loudly, as "hot chocolate". :puke:

And she was one of those "I tell it like it is" types, too. And she would, no matter who it was, constantly. But if you told her "like it is", she got very, very angry. Threatened to hit me one time, said "you're lucky we're at work", for what I thought was a pretty tame joke.

Pleasant woman. :eyes:

[Downtown Hound]

20. Yeah, I love the dish it out but can't take it types.

I've encountered more than a few of them in my time at work.

[Downtown Hound]

19. I used to have a MANAGER that smelled really bad

To this day I'm not sure what it was. It wasn't your standard B.O. but more of a musty kind of scent. He was pretty overweight so I don't know, maybe it was a medical thing. His hygiene wasn't the greatest but I've seen worse.

At times he could be a pretty cool guy though so it kind of made up for it.

[UTUSN]

21. A married (to others) couple, having an affair at work, pounding it out on the desk

They were both supervisors. Their subordinates HAD to consult with them, but often had to stand lined up outside the locked door. Some jokesters LEANED IN to the door to listen.

I'm not a prude, but people carrying on affairs, who draw other people into the knowledge of it are making everybody co-conspirators. It feels really dirty when you see the OTHER wife or husband.

[prolesunited]

29. That's just soooo wrong

I would bring a bottle of 409 into the next meeting a clean the desk (and chair) before I sat down. Eeeewwww!

[EstimatedProphet]

22. The worst

We had a receptionist when I worked for the government. She was from Lebanon (only reason I mention this is because of the accent) and literally thought every word that came from her mouth was a gift to humanity. She would order people around in the office in this heavily accented 5 pack a day cigarette voice - even the boss, WHO LET HER ACT LIKE THIS. Her nickname became Cruella DeVille - she literally looked and acted the part. Any time there was any kind of disagreement she would publicly start yelling as loudly as possible and insult whoever was involved. she wanted to throw a party for one of the people in the office, then started collecting money, but insisted on the most expensive cake from the most expensive bakery in town, and when we decided on the grocery, she actually had the nerve to get a cake on her own from the most expensive place and then try to bill us all after the fact. Eventually, she was fired, and she then tried to sue.

[suzbaby]

23. The office glutton

Once a week, a box of doughnuts are brought into the breakroom as a treat. There are 60(ish) people in the company and only 12 doughnuts. This, of course, means that most people do not partake in eating of these tasty treats. But there are clearly enough people who do, as all the doughnuts are eaten every week.

Most people have the propriety to only take one doughnut or less. I think the norm is to take half of one and go about your merry way. Not the office glutton!!! I personally watched him clear out three doughnuts by himself. There weren't enough to go around in the first place! Why the hell would he eat 3?

He invites himself to lunches he has no place in attending. Like a lunch just for my department. He does not work in my department. Yet, he'll show up and just take food and then stand in the back, listening to our meeting as though he has a reason for being there.

From now on, I will call him "Where ever there is food, I shall be there!" man.

As a side note, he also has a history of making inappropriate comments. Like bringing up porn during an interview lunch.

[Lindsey]

24. The bigoted, pompous, Republican who used to be the Campus Pres.

at the college where I work. It's a small campus, pop. about 500. He LOVED harrassing me about political issues. He'd come in my office and give me shit. After the Academy Awards (the one that Chris Rock hosted) in which Chris Rock was sayin' things like why is Jude Law in all these movies and was kinda cuttin' him down. When Sean Penn was at the mic. (I don't remember if he was accepting his award or giving one) he made the comment that Jude Law is a really good actor and deserves to be in the films (or something like that). The next day at work, my boss told another co-worker about how Sean Penn never misses an opportunity to make a political statement! Sean wasn't even making a political statement. This boss was such a dumb ass. Thank God he's gone.

[Lil Missy]

25. I sat next to an older guy that used to clean his dentures at his desk.

It was always worse on taco day. He'd rake all the food particles and slime off of them and then put them in a clear glass on his desk for everyone to see. Absolutely repulsive.

[XemaSab]

26. Simple advice: don't eat the cookies.

The woman who bakes them is a cat lady and doesn't wash her hands after using the bathroom.

:barf:

[Darth_Kitten]

28. Hide strategic bits of tuna around his desk......

and let that fester for a few days and see if that changes management's tune.

(yes, I'm evil)

[prolesunited]

30. Umm... I sit next to him

Why would I torture myself like that.

But, GOOD news! They've come up with a new seating chart. Bad part, I have to share a desk with someone on another shift. Good part, he's two rows away. YEAH!

[Darth_Kitten]

31. Then how much worse can it be?

;)

Seriously, sometimes short-termed sacrifices have to be made for the greater, long-time good. :)

Keep us posted how the new seating arrangement works out.