Bush comes clean about the war in Iraq

[Itascapark]

In a bold effort to clear up errors of content and misstatements over the US’s invasion and occupation of Iraq, the President used his weekly Saturday morning radio address to articulate and expound on the reasons for going to war.

"My fellow Americans…it is with a proud, yet heavy heart, blessed by our Lord and savior Jesus Christ, that I address your growing concerns over the current situation in Iraq. I would like to make plain, as any Crawford and fellow American man should, our reasons for liberating Iraq from the brutal dictator Saddam Hussein, and his now two dead sons…whatever their names were…rhymes with soosay…(cough)…those guys. You see my fellow Americans, once weapons-of-mass-disruption—destruction--are found, and they will be found, bet your bottom dollar about that…Clifford May is my bitch…than our mission will not be in vain. We must remain strong…and Tony Blair, he’s a friend of mine, and let me tell you, the Brits, well they know a thing or two about a thing or two (cough). They’ve got this island up over a ways, in something called the North Atlantic, and that island, I’m not making this up, gives these people special powers of perception, you know what I mean, so I knew I was hitch’ my wagon to the right mule when Tony sighed to take a strong stand again Saddam and his Bath…room…party. I got a sawbuck here friend with your name on it…made you look… Matter of fact, Colin…Powell…my right man hand told me just a few days before this shin-dig started…Donald Rumsfeld is high in fiber…he said to me, Condi’s concerned about this CIA thing, what should we do..hire Jayson Blair? Man’s got some fortitude…well, (cough) Weapons-of-mass destruction go bye-bye. Poof! We must remain strong and ever doubtful. Thank you and have a pheasant weekend."

[Droopy]

1. Well that's good

I'm glad that Dubya took the time to clear that up for me. You know, I had this crazy idea that the war might have been about oil. Now I can sleep at night knowing it was all really about weapons of mass disruption. Or is it weapons of mass destruction? Oh well, it was weapons of some sort I'm sure. Nighty-night.

[Rabrrrrrr]

2. You got his speechifying pattern down well

Sure sounds like it could have been him, indeed.

"Bring 'em on!"