DU Late Night...Confessions

[Itascapark]

(smooth bass voice)" From atop some building off Times Square, this is DU Late Night Confffffessssions. Every feel like openning that...special, little place...that place nobody knows about...that place where you keep all your secrets?...well, give Dr. Itasca a call and confess...it's just the two of us...nobody else will know...just...our...little...secret...;) :smoke:

the lines are open...and you're on the air...

[short bus president]

1. one time, at band camp,

I killed a feller just to watch him die.

[Lady Freedom]

2. Al gore is...

A REP. Now that beach front that I want sale off in OK. is going cheap!

[Itascapark]

7. No shame in that my child...

:evilgrin:

[Itascapark]

9. Did you stick your

sax up his ass?

[ForrestGump]

73. I thought that was in Reno?

[SOteric]

3. A serious flaw in my knowledge base....

I don't know how to swim.

[Lady Freedom]

4. Me too...

WATER scares the H-E-double hocky sticks out of me!

[GOPisEvil]

6. Really you two?

I used to teach swimming as well as being a lifeguard. :-)

[Itascapark]

8. This is what it's all about my children...

Gittin' people together...on Conffffessions...

[SOteric]

10. A lifeguard

[GOPisEvil]

13. LOL!!! I know how to toss that ring!!

I used to have quite the tan back then, too. :D

[SOteric]

17. Like you weren't enough

of a doll already, you have to go and plant lifeguard phantasies in my head.

[GOPisEvil]

22. Hmmm...then I will have the companion dreams of...

...a lovely damsel in distress. :7

[Itascapark]

24. Ahhhhhh, yes

That's what I'm talkin' about...share the memories...on Confessssionnnsssssss...

[Lady Freedom]

11. I HATE water!!!

I can take showers and shallow baths but thats it! Water is scarey! If God wanted me in it he would have gave me gills!

[Itascapark]

12. It's just WATER, my sweet

it's not TNT.

[GOPisEvil]

14. Exactly...

...I always started lessons in water the student could stand in.

[Lady Freedom]

16. So you would...

start me at an inch huh?

[GOPisEvil]

20. lol...er...if you can find a pool that shallow...

Although, swimming might be a little tough.

I think the shallowest pool I ever taught in was 2'4".

[Lady Freedom]

27. AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Too deep! Too Deep! I'll stay here!

[GOPisEvil]

29. I'd be right there...nothing will happen - promise.

I've never lost a student yet! :D

[Lady Freedom]

32. Thats what my Dad said...

Before I ended up caughing half the river out of my lungs!

[GOPisEvil]

34. Well, no offense to dad, but...

I'm a formerly trained semi-professional! :D

[SOteric]

35. And a Boy Scout.

I mean...if you can't trust a Boy Scout... :shrug:

[GOPisEvil]

38. It was they who trained me!

I taught nervous 11 year-old boys how to swim...if I can teach them, I can teach anyone! :D

[Lady Freedom]

40. He was a...

Navy Seal!!!!!! And looked what happend! No thanks! I'll just stay here in this tree.

[GOPisEvil]

43. Seriously...I can teach anyone to swim...

One step at a time. :-) First, get in the water...floating...then swimming...it takes time, but it can be done.

[Lady Freedom]

44. As long as swiming...

means getting into water, its not for me.

[GOPisEvil]

45. Sigh...

...that just means one less person in the crowd at the lake/beach/river. :P

[Itascapark]

30. No fear...no fear

the lady like it swallow, we're going to keep it swallow

[ForrestGump]

74. We could team teach

As long as I get to hold them while they practice flutter kick :D

[SOteric]

75. I believe your other potential student

has stated categorically she will not go near the water. You may have to confine yourself to applying tanning oil to her on the safety of the shore.

[ForrestGump]

88. Okay, I could handle that

Sunny side up

[Lady Freedom]

113. would you still do it if...

I wanted to suntan in the nude?

[Lady Freedom]

81. where have you been?

There's alot of fun lower down on this post and your not there!

[ForrestGump]

89. I'm too young to see that!

Or too old to handle it - one of the two.....

[short bus president]

5. It's incredibly easy

You just pucker your legs, and blow.

;-)

[MaryBear]

15. I sleep with my dog.

My mother would be shocked.

[ScreamingMeemie]

18. I sleep with my dog too. How can you not with those adorable little

fuzzy, Sheltie faces. :)

[short bus president]

23. mine snores too loud

when she's on the bed. On the floor, the snoring can be mostly masked by the air cleaner white noise. But on a soft surface like the bed, there's no taming the violent rumble this dog emits. It shakes the walls.

[ScreamingMeemie]

26. Mine does more of a groany, sighing thing...

It is very funny. She sounds like a little old lady when she rolls over.

[Itascapark]

19. No judgement here my pretty one

We're all just hangin' on...Confessssionnnnns.

[ornotna]

37. In one of the introduction posts

Skittles said "I want to kick your ass" (not to me personally).
But when I read that I got all "tingly" down there. Am I normal?



crap- one of these days I'll get it right

[Itascapark]

41. Perfectly

That's what's know as a "Welcome to DU" come on.

[SOteric]

21. Dogs are fine companions

and excellent foot warmers. :hi:

[nuxvomica]

25. I am unusually repulsed by two things

1) the inside of a pomegranate.

2) spore sacs on the back of a fern.

[Itascapark]

I know it took a lot

for you to share that...but that's the MO on...Confessions!

[ScreamingMeemie]

31. Pomegranate juice= grossness

looks like blood with the same consistency...:puke:

[Lizz612]

28. Right now I'm

Listening to the Clash WAY too loud for my own good.
Nite.

[cherryperry]

33. Well, Dr., I really need to get this said,

I feel really horny tonight and I like it doggy style.

Oh, I am so ashamed :spank:

:hi:

[Itascapark]

36. No shame here my randy caller

We're all about the LOVE on...Confessions...who can help them out? Anybody?

[short bus president]

39. DU really needs

a way to find out how many people are rushing to check out your profile after you say something like that. Looks like you live too far from me...

;-)

[cherryperry]

42. Damn! n/t

[Lady Freedom]

46. Hear I'm thinking...

that I was the only naughty she-Dem! ( at least one to voice it so loud! hehe!)

[Itascapark]

48. You can tell the Doctor anything

on Confessions...:evilgrin:

[Lady Freedom]

50. With the stuff I say...

about this topic mose needs to be PMed! hehe:evilgrin:

[Itascapark]

51. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

:smoke:

[SOteric]

54. Well, I guess that explains where Forrest disappeared to...

[Lady Freedom]

56. Don't look at me!

I haven't heard from him since this morning!

[ForrestGump]

78. I'm like that

I leave 'em to wake up alone....with just the scent of whipped cream and hummus to remind them of the night's passion.

What a cad.

[Lady Freedom]

102. you are soooo bad

Lady Freedom will have to spank you! :spank:

[short bus president]

59. Forrest is no doubt busy

making the sound of one hand clapping, after his heavy keyboard petting session last night.

[Lady Freedom]

62. are we saying That...

I might be to blame for him not being on!O8)

[short bus president]

66. "Forrest! Are you jacking on in there?!?"

Nobody here would hold it against you if you caused Forrest a little torment. Except me. If you lived any closer to me, I'd be very happy to hold it against you. :evilgrin:

[ForrestGump]

82. Jeez, do you people ALWAYS act like this when I turn my back?

You'd think I'd developed some kind of bad reputation, or something....

[SOteric]

85. It's true.

Forrest Gump is a tart.

[Lady Freedom]

87. GOOD!

:evilgrin:

[ForrestGump]

92. Not just good, but

oooooo....wouldn't you like to know.... :D

[ForrestGump]

91. yeah, but I'm a

pop tart.

In and out in a minute and filled with nutritional goodness.

Well, maybe a bit longer than a minute. Actually, forget I said anything...... (you know, like usual) :P

[Lady Freedom]

96. I hope your ...

in way longer than a minute!

[ForrestGump]

80. Broke my keyboard, dammit

And, of course, my expansion slot is screwed.....

[Lady Freedom]

90. Glad I was soooo...

good for you!

[ForrestGump]

76. Hey!

I had an emergency call - several of the Swedish bikini team spontaneously demanded that they be the mothers of my......

oh......who'm I kidding....sadly, this is not true.... :-(

[SOteric]

83. I'm sorry, Forrest.

I'm sure your visualisation of the Swedish Bikini team will put you on the top of their list should an actual emergency arise.

One that involves Alan Ladd and a classic western movie, perhaps. :evilgrin:

[ForrestGump]

93. Put that Guns of Diabolical grin away!

I'm still waiting for me to call them, though. Maybe they lost the used Kleenex that I sent them the number on.....

[SOteric]

98. Maybe they're occupied with important work.

[Lady Freedom]

84. Whew!

For a minute I though I had a rival!

[ForrestGump]

94. Really? You thought you'd already 'arrived'?

But I didn't even twiddle anything yet!

Damn, I'm almost terrifyingly good....

[Lady Freedom]

Prrrrrrrrrrrr

I can be soooo horny!

[MaryBear]

47. Does that mean you sleep with your dog, too, cherryperry,

or, er, what does that mean? Could you tell us more about that?

[Itascapark]

49. Yes...open up

let your words be our guide my troubled on...

[cherryperry]

53. I'm not troubled, I'm just

horney and I'm ready to open up, darlin'!

[Lady Freedom]

55. I feel for you!

It is horried to be on fire and there's no fireman!

[short bus president]

57. Gee, um, uh...

would ya' settle for a waterboy?

;-)

[Lady Freedom]

60. are you a good water boy?

[Itascapark]

61. I'm a Bad Waterman

Very...very...bad O8)

Now bad...I mean BACK to the show.

[Lady Freedom]

64. Oh?

do you need a spanking?O8) If so I'm really good at it!

[Itascapark]

67. Hummmmmmm

The Doctor is tempted....

[Lady Freedom]

99. how...

tempted are you!

[Itascapark]

100. The Doctor is ALWAYS tempted

to satisfy...

[Lady Freedom]

105. Mmmmmmmm

think you can satisfy me? I have a healthy hunger!

[Itascapark]

106. Let's find out...shall we

[short bus president]

63. as opposed to

a malevolent waterboy? The mind boggles at precisely what that might mean...

[Lady Freedom]

65. Would you...

do what ever I want?

[short bus president]

68. That depends on what exactly you want

and whether my insurance covers acts of OH MY GOD!!!

[Lady Freedom]

70. Look in..

your inbox sweetheart!:evilgrin:

[Itascapark]

58. For God's sake woman...

It's early out there...surely an attactive woman, such as yourself, might be able to satisfy her desire...

[cherryperry]

52. GrandmaBear, you're joshing me, right?

I don't think I'd better explain doggy style to anyone who doesn't know what it is, with all due respect! ahem

[SOteric]

69. Not to worry.

GrandmaBear is pretty hip.

[MaryBear]

126. Would I josh you?

Looks like you'll have to take things in hand, cherryperry.

[leftist_rebel1569]

71. umm...my confession

is that i'm too afraid to confess something...

[SOteric]

72. Fear is the mind-killer, leftist reb,

just close your eyes and go for it.

[short bus president]

77. yeah, it's like

diving into unknown waters, right Esso?

:P

[SOteric]

86. Sure thing EssBee.

I'm not the one that's terrified of the water, of course. But if I were, it would be just like that.

[leftist_rebel1569]

107. well...I'm not afraid to confess this...

but I LOVE DONUTS!

:donut: :donut: :donut:

edit: I'm in DESPERATE NEED OF SLEEP also...(I can't even spell my fave word! Donut...Donut...Donut)

[cherryperry]

95. I love Wellstone, too, and always will!

so I looked up your profile and found that you live in MN...what incredible memories you must have!

I was going to offer that I feed you donuts, one piece at a time, (if you get my drift), but then became morose about Wellstone's untimely demise. I am ready to say G'night now.

May whatever/whomever you have faith in bless you...g'night!

[leftist_rebel1569]

104. aww...thanks. I'm flattered,

honestly, but you might find me a bit too...young for your likings...

Edit: Okay...this thread's even turnin me on! :spank:

Edit (Again...I have no life, sue me): yup.

[BigMcLargehuge]

79. I'm Batman

.

[Aristus]

97. My confession:

Threads like these make it difficult to be a happily married man! Whew! Lady Freedom, you are BAD!

:spank:

[Lady Freedom]

101. Thank you!

I willing to give advice to her! I love shareing ways to make men happy!

[Aristus]

103. Oh, my wife keeps me happy, you bet.

:evilgrin:

She's astonishing sometimes.

Still, these threads ARE steamy!

[Lady Freedom]

108. If you think this is hot...

ask some of the guys how have talk to me by PM!

[Aristus]

109. Oh Lady, I shouldn't.

I'm sure it violates my vows somehow!

[Lady Freedom]

110. Thats why...

My middle name is satan!:evilgrin:

[Aristus]

111. Lady Satan.

That should have been your user name. ;-)

[Lady Freedom]

112. but that...

would have gave me away! hehe!
But if you ever want to talk dirty, just PM me. I'll show you how to really use a keyboard!

[Aristus]

114. Oh mercy!

That does it! I gotta say 'good-night'. I'm taking my wife to bed. 'Night! ;-)

[Lady Freedom]

116. Have Fun!!!!

I know what their goin to do! muhaaaaaaa!:evilgrin:

[Aristus]

119. You'd better believe it, Lady Satan!

Gotta wait, though. She's watching "Gay Eye for the Sraight Guy" or whatever it's called.

[Lady Freedom]

121. If...

you want a little fun, you know where to go.

[Aristus]

122. You are EVIL.

I love it!

[Lady Freedom]

123. Thank you!

I do try! Like when I give a guy a blowjob, I keep at it till he's happy!

[leftist_rebel1569]

115. umm....question?

I shouldn't be asking this, but since everything's been thrown to the wind...here goes

would you talk dirty to a 15-year old (such as...myself?)

(NOT....IMPLYING....ANYTHING....honest! :P)

[Lady Freedom]

117. sorry only 18 and above!

See if you didn't tell me you could have had some fun! hehe!

[leftist_rebel1569]

118. oh, you can tell,

I look like i'm only 16 or 17...

But...i'm cute, I guess...

[Lady Freedom]

120. well then...

if you over 18 just PM me!:evilsmile:

That goes for all you cute guys!

[leftist_rebel1569]

124. (sigh)

stupid laws!

(taps foot)...must...age...faster...

[Lady Freedom]

125. why can I not find posts#125 &126?

[Lady Freedom]

127. never mind! wrong post!

[proud patriot]

128. please continue discussion here

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=67384&mesg_id=67384