The 213 Things Skippy is No Longer Allowed to Do in the U.S. Army

[DarkPhenyx]

http://www.avalanchetankers.us/archives/000058.html

It's pretty self explanitory.

[jimbo fett]

1. Ow!!! My sides are hurting. I haven't laughed that much in a long time.

[DarkPhenyx]

8. I like that fact that...

...Skippy is supposed to be a real person. I can't vouche for all of the stories, but I know some of them are reportedly true, and I've met people who served with him. He avoided getting booted from the Army by being a borderline brilliant PsyOps tech.

[GOPisEvil]

2. When Bart Simpson joins the Army, he's writing those on the blackboard.

Funny stuff.

[VelmaD]

3. I love #44

I am not the atheist chaplain. *snort*

[YellowRubberDuckie]

4. That is the funniest shit ever...

They probably have way too much free time on their hands and are way too bored. I'm going to print that and spread that around at work.
Duckie

[Interrobang]

5. Some of this is probably good advice for the workplace, too...

#87. "If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it. "

Sounds like something they'd have to warn me about. :)

No, this Skippy is not my Skippy; there are lots of them, and they're always *someone*'s evil twin. I just haven't figured out who's my Skippy's *good* twin yet.

[underpants]

6. There are no evil clowns living under my bed

OH GOD those are hilarious.

The revolution is not now.

Not allowed to play 'Pulp Fiction' with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer.

I do not have super-powers.

There are no evil clowns living under my bed

I am not allowed to create new levels of security clearance.

My chain of command has neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Fruit Roll-Ups. ®

NEVER nail a stuffed bunny to a cross and put it up in front of the Battalion Headquarters sign as an "Easter Desecration

The Chicken and Rice MRE is *not* a personal lubricant. (Skippy wanted this noted for the record that this is not something he has ever attempted or considered! It was something we heard at dinner on 22 September 2001 and it was just so obscene it had to go here.)

[TrogL]

7. Is there a name for this particular style of humour?

[gator_in_Ontario]

9. LOL #29

The Irish MPs are not after "me frosted lucky charms"

[TXlib]

10. #74: Woad is not camouflage makeup

[jmowreader]

11. Item 152, "a box of grid squares does not exist," is false

In Berlin one of the standard wild goose chases was to send someone looking for a box of grid squares. It got so bad that the MPs we had guarding the site got a map, cut it up into grid squares and put the grid squares into a check box.

Item 182, "there is no FM for wall-to-wall counseling," is also false. I know it is false because I wrote the wall-to-wall counseling manual.

[supernova]

12. Hee Hee

It's a wonder this guy didn't get beat up everyday.

edit: Psyops? Makes me wonder just whom he was performing Psyops on. ;-)