Bagpipes

[arwalden]

Poll question: Bagpipes

[arwalden]

1. To me, they sometimes sound like a wild animal in pain

[alwynsw]

14. How do you make a chain saw sound like a bagpipe?

Add vibrato.

[BlueJazz]

18. What's the difference between a chainsaw and a bagpipe?

You can tune a chainsaw if you have to.

[BlueJazz]

20. What is the opposite of bagpipe players?

musicians.

How do you keep 2 bagpipers in tune?

shoot one of them.

[PittPoliSci]

2. bagpipes: quite possibly the most beautiful instrument ever

I really love bagpipes, something about them stirs up emotion inside of me. Like at a wedding I was at a few years ago, the bride was introduced by bagpipes, and I bawled my eyes out more than any other wedding without bagpipes. Also, my friend's father died, a year ago, and they sent him off to amazing grace with bagpipes, I couldn't stop crying for hours because of that.

[CrownPrinceBandar]

11. Same thing happened to me....

at my uncle's funeral. The WV Highlanders came to the funeral and played "Amazing Grace" on the pipes; cried like a baby. I'm not religious, but the combo of the pipes and that song brings tears to my eyes everytime. Its almost as if that song was written for the pipes. No other format brings up that much emotion in me. I love the pipes. Maybe its my Scotch heritage?

[Maeve]

3. You need a third choice

Sometimes you just have to be in the mood for them....other times, they're annoying as hell.

[arwalden]

7. Sorry... I Guess I'm Emulating CNN...

It's one or the other... black or white... good or evil... LOL.

(Isn't that annoying?)

-- Allen

[alwynsw]

4. The Irish gave the to the Scots - and the Scots still

haven't gotten the joke!

Why do (bag)pipers always march when they play? They're trying to get away form the noise!

[Maeve]

5. One more--how do you tune a set of bagpipes?

No one has ever found out.

[alwynsw]

6. You do know that Scots wear kilts because of bagpipes, don't you?

It's because the pipes scare the shit out of 'em. Saves on cleaning. (Or so I was told in Limerick.)

[PittPoliSci]

8. these jokes are great!

i love it, keep 'em comin'!

[alwynsw]

13. What's the difference between bagpipes and a lawnmower?

You can tune a lawnmower.

OR

Your neighbor complains when yoou borrow the lawnmower and don't return it.

[arwalden]

28. Funny!

-- Allen

[BlueJazz]

45. Kick

NT

[regularguy]

9. Not a big fan of bagpipes, and it's this guy's fault:

http://www.23cafe.com/rufus_harley.htm.

It seemed unique at first, playing jazz with bagpipes, but after hearing it few times..........OY!

[terrya]

10. The MOST annoying sounding musical instrument ever created

The sound coming out of bagpipes isn't music...just noise. And very unpleassant sounding noise, at that.

[ProudGerman]

24. Where does the accordian fall on that list?

I find the accordian is far worse in annoyance than the pipes.


BTW, I love bagpipes.

[terrya]

25. A VERY close second. :-)

But, IMO, bagpipes are worse. Particularly in the wrong hands. :-)

Terry

[EstimatedProphet]

43. Good question

Can ANY instrument be worse than an accordion, especially when it's being used to play "Lady of Spain" by a 12 year old?

I rest my case.

[RC]

12. I like Bagpipes

They sound cool. I'm thinking about having one or more bagpipers play Maria Elean at my furunal. :P

[BlueJazz]

23. I was thinking of having one play "Very, Very far away"

nt

[alwynsw]

15. What's the definition of a gentleman?

Someone who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn't.

[alwynsw]

16. How can you tell if a bagpipe is out of tune?

Someone is blowing into it.

[alwynsw]

17. What's the definition of "optimism"

A bagpiper with a beeper.

[NightTrain]

19. Can't stand bagpipes, unless I'm hearing that forgotten 45 from 1972...

..."Amazing Grace" by the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards. A #11 hit on the Billboard Hot 100 that summer, if you can believe that!

[Mr. McD]

21. I play in a pipe band.

When properly tuned it is a magnificent instrument. If not it can be a horrible experience. :hi:

on edit
Scotland's national instrument, the Bagpipe or in Gaelic "piob-mhor" (the great pipe) is not, contrary to popular belief, an instrument which has its origins in and has diffused from Scotland. The bagpipe is an instrument of great antiquity, an instrument which has its origins in the Middle East and traveled through and evolved in Europe alongside the diffusion of early civilization.

The bagpipe was the instrument of the Roman infantry while the trumpet was used by the cavalry.

Bagpipes existed in many forms in many places around the world. In each country the basic instrument was the same, a bag with a chanter and one or more drones. Some of these were mouth blown while others used a bellows attachment to supply the air. The bag provided a sustained tone while the musician took a breath and allowed several tones to be played at once.

The origins of the pipes in Scotland is uncertain. Some say it was a Roman import. Others believe that the instrument came from Ireland as the result of colonization. Another theory is that they were developed there independently. Historians can only speculate on the origins of the Scottish clans' piob mhor, or great Highland bagpipe, but the Highlanders were the ones to develop the instrument to its fullest extent and make it, both in peace and war, their national instrument.

The original pipes in Scotland probably had, at the most, a single drone. The second drone was added to the pipes in the mid to late 1500s. The first written mention of the "Great Pipes" was in 1623 when a piper from Perth was prosecuted for playing on the Sabbath. The third drone, or the great drone, came into use early in the 1700s.

In the Lowlands of Scotland, pipers occupied well-defined positions as town pipers, performers for weddings, feasts and fairs. There was no recorded "master piper" nor were there any pipe schools. Lowland pipers played songs and dance music, as was expected by their audience. Over the mountains and glens, however, Highland pipers were strongly influenced by their background of the Celtic legends and the wild nature of the Highlands. The Highland piper occupied a high and honored position within the Clan system. To be a piper was sufficient and, if he could play well, nothing else would be asked of him.

As bagpipe use faded throughout most of Europe, a new form of music was starting in the Highlands. Beginning with Iain Odhar, who lived in the mid-1500s, the MacCrimmon family was responsible for elevating Highland pipe music to a new level, according to historians. This music is called piobaireachd (pronounced piobroch). This classical music is an art form which can compare to the music of any other country and most of it was composed 100 years before the piano and without written notation.

Clan pipers titles were mostly hereditary and held in much esteem. The best known were the MacCrimmons, pipers to MacLeod of Dunvegan; the MacAuthurs, pipers to MacDonald of the Isles; the MacKays, pipers to the MacKenzie; the Rankins, pipers to MacLearn of Duart.

As a musical instrument of war, the Great Pipes of the Highlands were without equal, according to historians. The shrill and penetrating notes worked well in the roar and din of battle and pipes could be heard at distances up to 10 miles. Because of the importance of the bagpipes to any Highland army, they were classified as an instrument of war by the Loyalist government during the Highland uprising in the 1700s. After the defeat of Bonnie Prince Charlie in 1745, kilts and bagpipes were outlawed, the pipes being classified as instruments of war.

[Maeve]

29. One of my favorite stories is about the cow that ate the piper

You can find a great version in the song "Dinny the Piper" as sung by Andy M. Stewart.

Lyrics here:http://mysongbook.de/msb/songs/d/dinnythe.html

[jmowreader]

31. Have you piped at the Flora Macdonald Highland Games?

The Games are at the Flora Macdonald Academy in Red Springs, NC, every fall.

If you'll be piping at the Games, p-mail me and we'll hoist a cold one or two.

[Mr. McD]

41. No, we only make it to the games in California.

[Interrobang]

22. They're great, but only at a distance.

I went to the Fergus Highland Games (Fergus, Ontario -- one of the largest Highland Games in North America), and when the massed pipe bands are passing so close to your table that you could reach out and flick the pleats in the pipers' kilts, well, that's a little too close. On the other hand, when a friend of mine pipes the Ealdormerian troops up the hill at Pennsic (a big SCA event in PA), that sounds *great*!!

[TrogL]

26. I performed with a band

Bagpipes and african drums.

[kath]

27. Don't like the Scottish bagpipes much, but love the Irish (uillean) pipes.

[dmr]

30. I love the bagpipes

Of course, not all the time. But I find them soul moving.

My son, in fact, wants to learn to play.

[alwynsw]

32. What's one thing you never hear people say?

Oh, that's the bagpipe player's Porsche.

[alwynsw]

33. How do you get two bagpipes to play a perfect unison?

Shoot one.

[alwynsw]

34. Bagpipes (noun)

I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made object never equalled the purity of sound achieved by the pig. -Alfred Hitchcock

[alwynsw]

35. How do you know if a bagpipe band is at your front door?

No one knows when to come in.

[alwynsw]

36. SOMEBODY STOP ME! PLEASE!

I can't help myself!

[arwalden]

46. And I've Wet Myself...

lol

[alwynsw]

37. Why is a bagpipe like a Scud missile?

Both are offensive and inaccurate.

[alwynsw]

38. What is the difference between bagpipes and an anchor?

You tie a rope to an anchor before you throw it overboard.

[alwynsw]

39. I oughta kill you for starting this thread, Allen.

It's like a multi-car pileup. I can't tear my eyes away from it.

[arwalden]

47. Sorry... I Cannot Be Held Responsible For The Actions Of Others

It's in my contract.

-- Allen

[ElsewheresDaughter]

40. I use to love the pipes ..but after attending 30 firefigfhters memorials

I hope i never hear them again

[BlueJazz]

42. More BagPipe Jokes....

Q: Why do BagPipers hang their BagPipes over the rear view mirror in their car?
A: So they can park in handicapped spaces.

Q: What is the difference between a BagPipe and an onion?
A: No one cries when you chop a BagPipe into little pieces.

Q: Why do loud, noisy, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?
A: To give us some sort of appreciation for BagPipes.

Q. What do you call a BagPipe player who just broke up with his girlfriend?
A. Homeless.

Q: What does a BagPiper say when he gets to his gig?
A: Would you like fries with that?

Q: Why don't Crocodiles play BagPipes?
A: Because they're usually too sensitive.

[Mass_Liberal]

44. ye canna doo wi'oot tha' pipes!

ye canna nae!!!