If U say, " I can forgive but I can't forget"

[angee_is_mad]

are you lying?

Isn't true forgiveness is forgetting that it ever happened? Because if you don't forget wouldn't you always be suspicious of the actions of the guilty party?

Excuse me, I am little tipsy right now and I am thinking bad thoughts.

[sleipnir]

1. I Forget and I Forgive, but only with a bottle of Stoli....

I see you're point, interesting....I'll have to think much more about that saying in the future.

Note, I'm always suspicious of everyone's actions. There's no such thing as truly honest response.

Question all motives and all actions, that's my slogan.

[angee_is_mad]

4. so there are no honest people?

and why are you so suspicious?

[sleipnir]

8. Everyone is suspect

It's true. I've found it to be true of everyone, even the guy trying to get on the Bus. Mistrust is the root of success and only those who trust without question are removed.

I refuse to trust anyone, it has to be earned, and even then, it's still questionable to some degree.

[MsUnderstood]

2. If you have forgotten, why do you need to forgive?

For your statement to be true the the opposite has to be true as well. So if forgiveness is forgetting then forgetting would be forgiving and I forget things all the time, but don't necessaryilly need to forgive anyone.

Forgiveness is about remembering that something happened, but allow the transgression that occurred to pass without retaliation, don't you think?

[angee_is_mad]

3. but wouldn't you

be overly suspicious and cautious. Wouldn't you just be waiting for the person 2 make one false move?

And about you forgetfulness, that can get you in trouble also.

[forgethell]

15. I think you have the right idea

You might allow the wrong to pass without retaliation. You might revive your affection, friendship, or whatever, for the person. But trust is like pottery, once broken, it may be repaired, but there is always going to be an ugly line where the breakoccurred. It is probably a lot easier to 'forget' if a betrayal of trust was not involved.

And always remeber, some things can be forgiven with a simple, 'I'm sorry' from the offender. Others require some true atonement (Sory to inflict a religious term here, but face it, religions know more about forgiveness than anybody)

[wtmusic]

5. Nah, you never forget

but you can forgive.

Acceptance.

[Nikia]

6. I refer to it as a divided opinion

There are some things that I feel opposite ways about and sometimes forgiving someone is one of them. Yes, sometimes I forgive them in that I don't hold it against them and I don't bring it up but I remember. I may or may not think about it often or at all, actively.
I believe in forgiveness but we are human and people have different motives for their actions or are just prone to certain mistakes. I suppose that after I have forgiven someone but still remember, I am more suspicious of them than if the incident had never happened at all and I watch for certain things. This is self preservation. In time, I can better evaluate whether the person has changed enough so that the transgression is unlikely to happen again and doesn't have to be an issue at all.

[LiviaOlivia]

7. The secret to a happy life is a bad memory..Ingrid Bergman

n/t

[sweetheart]

9. if you can't forget, you're a woman

men forget... That said, i mean both masculine and feminine are in men and women, and forgetting is a masculine attribute, remembering a feminine one... sometimes bodies are opposite of their ascendent quality. i'm tipsy too, i hope that made sense. :)

[angee_is_mad]

10. lol

I think men use forgetfulness as an excuse for their actions and women use forgiveness to keep their men!

Damn that was deep!

[gator_in_Ontario]

12. dang that is deep and probably true n/t

[AlFrankenFan]

11. I can't forgive or forget...

...I can thank my father for it being like that, too. :nopity:

[rasputin1952]

13. Forgiveness is total...

if you cannot forget, you cannot forgive.

This is not necessarily a bad thing, but it is impossble to forgive, and then bring up the situation in the future. Tis better not to feign forgiveness, than to give the illusion that all is forgiven, when it is not.

O8)

[Nikia]

16. I think partial forgiveness is a good first step

When I say partial, I mean letting go of the anger, renewing your relationship with the person and telling them that you don't hold it against them. You may remember it and be suspicious for a while, which is self preservation. You feel better and the forgiven person feel better. Your relationship feels right again. In time, you may forget for most practical purposes.
I don't necessarily think that remembering the incident has to be a bad thing. In some cases, it can be used as a source of strength in the relationship. We can be proud of our friend/SO for being able to overcome a weakness that they have for our sakes. We can know that we can have conflict and still be friends. We can know that we forgive each other. We can understand each other better. We can know that we really do care enough to be sorry and be able to forgive. This doesn't have to be a negative thing.

[Spirochete]

14. I can forget but not forgive...

so I go around all mad at people, but don't remember who or why. hehe

[angee_is_mad]

17. so you are the angry DUer!

I hope I never cross you. Oops I forgot, if I did you wouldn't remember anyway. hahahahaahahahaah

[Cuban_Liberal]

18. In forgiving we enrich our souls; in remembering, our minds.

Forgiveness is an act one does to help one's own soul, and is not for the benefit of the forgiven; but remembering what it was that we forgive is a lesson to ourselves regarding why it may have been wrong to become angry in the first place. I see nothing neccessarily inconsistent in forgiving but not forgetting. :)

[Bertha Venation]

19. No.

"Isn't true forgiveness is forgetting that it ever happened?"

No. How I have been able to forgive harm done to me is beyond my comprehension, but I have. But honestly, how could I ever forget?

Forgetting would mean shoving the memory so far away that it would fester and just cause more problems -- problems that the forgiveness dissolved, problems that the forgiveness made impossible.