Hank Scorpio is now available to answer your most perplexing questions

[MrScorpio]

Employing the skills and knowledge of his vast staff, he will do his darnedest to assist you in your hour of need.

Please put him at your disposal, as he takes a well earned break from his quest of world domination.

[Colin Ex]

1. What is Hank Scorpio's corporation called?

-C

[BigMcLargehuge]

3. Globex, of course...

Seize him you fool!!!!

[MrScorpio]

4. Be gentle with him

I need healthy workers for my slave labor subsidiary

[BigMcLargehuge]

2. where can I get a hammock?

I was thinking it might improve productivity in the nuclear program.

[MrScorpio]

5. Be on the lookout for my newly acquired franchise:

Hammocks-r-US

One should be opening in a Globex controlled strip-mall near you very soon.

[Pobeka]

6. How should I organize my new bookshelf?

I have:

Vinyl albums.
CD's (The music kind, not Certificates of Deposits)
Actual books.
Wires and stuff related to music.
Wires and stuff related to shortwave radio.
Computer Manuals.
Jaz cartridges for a Jaz drive.

Thanks for your help. I'm completely stumped.

[MrScorpio]

7. Put the things you use most at the very top

and the things you use least at the very bottom

This will keep the top of your shelf from gettting cluttered with useless crap and will cause you to get up every once in a while to get something.

I would also get a CD caddy and move the CDs to it.

I see that you have not been buying any Noam Chomsky books.

I trust that you will rectify this situation now that you have plenty of room in your fancy new bookcase.

[Pobeka]

9. Noam Chomsky, now why does that name sound familiar?

Oooh, she's the Russian dancer who defected, right? Married Barishnikov?

[MrScorpio]

15. Please report to the nearest Globex Reeducation Facility immediately

I will have technicians on hand to help you.

[Pobeka]

18. I don't know where that facility is.

... but I suppose you knew that already. For reference, I live here. where is the facility?

[MrScorpio]

19. You need our help more than ever

Don't worry.

I will personally dispatch a crack team of Globex Reeducation technicians to you.

My super computer has traced your IP address and you should hear them knocking on your door very soon... with a gift basket.

[Pobeka]

20. Oh, goody! I love Apples. How about Oranges, they in the gift basket too?

And a pineapple would be nice. I like pineapples, especially at night.

I had a kumquat once. I didn't like that.

Oh, I'm running on now. I will tell you when the technicians get here.

Hey, who the heck is knocking on my door, interrupting my DU lounge experience? Wait until they find out about Tiger.

[CanuckAmok]

25. Valencia?! These are juice oranges! n/t

[CanuckAmok]

8. Which coast sould I obliterate on your behalf, Mr. Scorpion?

n/t

[MrScorpio]

11. Thanks for the generous offer

But actual destruction will not be beneficial.

I only need the mere threat of destruction of achieve my goals.

But as a demonstration of my power, you may incinerate a small farmhouse complex in Crawford TX, using my Globex Doomsday Device (TM)



Have fun

[Fenris]

10. Could you hang my jacket on the coathook there?

;)

[MrScorpio]

12. That's not a good idea

Since, very soon, you'll be driving a Globex Sno-Remover (TM) from my three acre driveway.

[Fenris]

14. WRONG! There are no walls at the Globex Corporation!

:D

[MrScorpio]

16. I saw through your ploy

Why else would it be a bad idea?

[KG]

13. what do you know about the JS/Psyme.C virus?

[MrScorpio]

17. All I know is that it would be good time to uninstall Kazaa

And run a Globex virus filter

You should do this right away

[ALago1]

21. Did you ever find that shoe you threw?

n/t

[MrScorpio]

22. Yes I did.

But you'll be amazed at the effort of what I had to go through to get it back.

[CanuckAmok]

24. Gotcha! It wasn't a shoe, it was a moccasin!

n/t

[MrScorpio]

29. James Bont didn't know that

It's amazing what you can find when someone threatens to shoot a laser beam up your ass.

[populistmom]

23. Why do little boys want to beat each other all the time?

:grr:

[MrScorpio]

26. For the same reason two dogs pull on the same bone. Bragging rights

Uhmm, "Boys", "Beat" and "Bone"... Not good.

Not liking the mental picture that we're invisioning here.

[populistmom]

28. It can be a good vision

When it's the big boys you're talking about.

[Lostmessage]

27. What causes Charlie Horses?

:shrug:

[MrScorpio]

30. Chronic Masterbation

Sorry, Lost

[Lostmessage]

31. Aw shucks that's what did it

Two in one day and I was wondering what happened to my legs.

:loveya: