What's your "buffet buffoon" nightmare?

[KansDem]

This thread was inspired by Matcom's Sat Through A 1 Hour Lunch - Staring At A Guy Who CHEWED WITH OPEN MOUTH! thread.

Do you have a "buffet buffoon nightmare?" You know, you're at a buffet and someone displays the most egregious manners ever? (using fingers, dragging sleeves through the food, sneezing/coughing on the buffet, etc.)

My story:

I've seen my share of "buffet buffoons," but this one takes the cake, or in this case, pizza.

I was at a pizza buffet when I noticed a customer approach the buffet. She took a couple slices of pepperoni pizza, then, apparently wanting more pepperoni on the slices she took, began using her fingers to pick additional pepperoni slices OFF THE REST OF THE PIZZA on the buffet. Talk about low rent! :grr:

What's your story???

[bif]

1. I saw a guy at a Chinese buffet

touch all the pieces of Almond Boneless Chicken to see which was hot before putting in on his plate.

[BigMcLargehuge]

2. Went to a buffet at a relatives house

and some of my neices SAT DOWN at the buffet table to eat. Aside from the fact that it rendered the food unapetizing, it also made it nearly impossible to actually GET to the food.

Then, they left their dirty plates there AMONG the serving dishes!!!!!!


:wtf:

[Nikia]

3. My friend was at a buffet

One of the items was crab legs. An obese woman evidently loved crab legs and loaded up her plate three times in succession when the crab legs came out, leaving none for anyone else.
This annoyed my friend and everyone else who wanted some crab legs too.

[TXlib]

5. I'd have told her she was obviously overserved

And had been so for quite some time.

[BigMcLargehuge]

6. sounds like something from the Simpsons

"That man ate all our shrimp, and two plastic lobsters..."

[Philostopher]

8. Does your friend live in Terre Haute, Nikia?

We stopped at a restaurant with a buffet in Terre Haute, IN once when we were on the road, and had this exact thing happen -- only the woman who was dominating the crab legs there had a pre-pubescent son she sent running for them. I don't think a single other person in the restaurant got one the whole time we were there.

[Edge]

9. I would've said...

"Excuse me. Look at yourself. I don't think you need anymore crab legs."

Then I would've shoved my way in front of her.

[Edge]

4. I hate it when people sneeze in the restaurant...

and don't cover his/her mouth...thus food flies everywhere.

[kmla]

7. Not me, but my Mom was at a lunch buffet once...

... and some well meaning (but stoooooopid) person dished out some bean salad onto her plate, and while still standing at the buffet, changed her mind, and scooped it BACK INTO the dish (this from a dirty plate!). My mom silently told the server, and the bean salad was replaced promptly...

[radwriter0555]

10. The cashier/food prep girl with a RUNNY NOSE who kept blowing it while she

was wrapping up my FOOD.

I told her manager to send her home. She was sick as a dog.

[eek]

11. NYers may recall this one (beat's ya all's piddly stories)

This was in early 2001 I think.

Remember the guy that was caught spraying a salad bar in a Penn Station deli? Bottle was filledc with "unitentified liquid".


That liquid turned out to be urine and human foeces.


:puke:

[put out]

12. I worked at a very very nice restaurant.

We had a salad bar during the day meal. All the traditional green salad fixings, and then several other chilled salads. One of them included escargot (with sun-dried tomato, fresh basil, fettuccine, olive oil, you get it, yummy). After finishing her plate of salad, she asked what was the meat in the fettuccine salad. When I told her, she SCREAMED, several times, tried to puke into her cloth napkin, and generally acted like an idiot, berated me, and when I offered to call the manager, meekly declined. And then proceeded to stiff me on the tip.

[geniph]

13. Mine is little kids at buffets

I mean ones too small to actually decide what to eat for themselves, ones whose parents apparently don't want to go to the trouble of filling Junior's plate for him. So you get rugrats standing in the way, suddenly darting in and out of the middle of lines, snatching randomly at pieces of chicken or rolls, putting things back in different dishes, wiping their noses on the backs of their hands and then grabbing more food with their hands, touching all the silverware, etc.

Please. If your kids are too young to order at a regular restaurant, they're too young to fill their own plates at a buffet. Please, please, fill their plates for them. All they're gonna eat is yogurt and chicken nuggets anyway, you know that.

[LynneSin]

14. I have no nightmares since I do not do "Bacteria Buffetts"

My intentions are to not die of an intestinal parasite.

I will occasionally do a breakfast buffet, but only those that come complimentary with a hotel room I might have.

[DiverDave]

15. After reading

these storys, you gotta check out this site:

http://www.stainedapron.com/

I tip REALLY well and never send food back.

[WWW]

16. Burnt pig run thru the Hobart

I was working the Sunday buffet brunch at a very elegant restaurant. The cook decided he was going to serve a roasted pig as one of the entrees.

He really slathered the thing with butter and then popped it into the oven. Only during the cooking process, the pig inflated because it was so tightly seared, and got stuck, and then....caught on fire.

The chef hit the pig with the fire extinguisher. And not wanting to lose his job because he wasted the pig, he ran it thru the Hobart, (dishwasher) to wash off the chemicals from the fire extinguisher.

And then served it...
And people ate it...
And raved about it...

[SoCalDem]

17. An octopus sucker in the chocolate pudding

There it was just laying there.. It must have fallen from someone's plate....G R O S S

It was a Chinese buffet, and we only ate there the one time...

[Awsi Dooger]

18. My friend Montana Mel is amazing at Las Vegas buffets

He is wonderfully liberal and ran for congress in Montana during the '60s, barely losing to someone who is now a high profile judge. Mel is a true Vegas character and legend, never without his trademark Budweiser (probably 12 per day) or the accompanying glazed look.

At buffets, Montana Mel will order a half bowl of soup. Then he fills it to the brim with tobasco sauce, stirring furiously. This is repeated at least three times.

His plate of food is quickly unrecognizeable as anything other than a mass of salt. Mel takes several minutes to carefully coat every square inch with salt, then goes back over the disturbed area whenever he takes a bite!

Everyone who knows him marvels that Montana Mel is still alive.