What is your favorite euphemism?

[Bertha Venation]

Mine: for vomiting: Gotta go call Ralph on the big white telephone.

Another: vomiting cats hork. Hork is also a noun; it's what's left outside the cat when it's done horking.

Another: nah.... let's hear yours.

[GR]

1. Department of "Defense"....nfm

nfm

[WhoCountsTheVotes]

31. "Flexible Labor Market" n/t

[rfranklin]

2. The Chimp...

as a euphemism for a turd.

[Lizz612]

3. I'm a little crooked.

You know, not quite straight.

[GOPisEvil]

4. Heh...for vomiting...

"Talking to Ralph about Buicks."

Or "the technicolor yawn".

For, um, male self-love, "shining the rhino".

:D

[sendero]

9. for ...

... male self-love my favorite is "shellacing the galacnoid", from a great show that ran on MTV in the mid 90s called "Austin Stories".

It's early demise was total proof of the cultural ineptitude of the average American :)

[mac56]

12. There's also "waxing the dolphin"

and

"Shaking hands with Randy"

[ironflange]

13. Polishing the Flagpole

:evilgrin:

[regnaD kciN]

21. Pat the Robertson...

...originally from a song by the Foremen.

[regnaD kciN]

22. ...or the Japanese version...

...bushuruhu (coined after George Sr. puked on the Japanese Prime Minister on a trip to the Far East during his presidency).

;-)

[lovedems]

5. I have never used it but I laugh when I hear it

I have to go drop the kids off at the pool

[dolo amber]

7. Variations:

"Take the Browns to the Superbowl" or "Gotta release the brown hounds" :D

[lovedems]

8. or...

For the really "hurried" one's. I have the trots. When you have to run to the toilet.

[Lostmessage]

6. Your barn doors open and your horse is getting out

:evilgrin:

[greatauntoftriplets]

10. The "President of the United States"....

...when referring to the current occupant of the White House.

On edit: That really stretches one's credulity.

[gmoney]

11. Shaking hands with the unemployed...

As a euphemism for spanking the monkey.

or "laughing at the ground" for vomiting...

[Djinn]

15. girly spanking

to tip toe thru the two lips

[non sociopath skin]

30. A pal of mine ..

... describes anyone whose inebriation is affecting his motion as "walking with a stutter."

The Skin

[MiddleRiverRefugee]

14. Go urinate up a strand of hemp...

Self-translating.

[NightTrain]

16. I'd like to bring my Dodge dart into your service station for a...

...complete lube job. If you know what I mean!

[bleedingheart]

17. Loads of them..

vomiting: Calling Buicks....
fly open: Kennywood's open
stupid: Doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground
male behavior: A whiskey glass and a woman's ass will make a man go crazy...


too tired to write the rest..

[Mr. McD]

18. Driving the porcelain bus

:puke:

[Lostmessage]

19. Aunt Flow's in town

:shrug:

[hobbes159]

20. Acute rectal-cranial inversion....

aka "head up their ass"

[NoPasaran]

23. Economic with the truth

Also: Sanity-challenged

[fudge stripe cookays]

24. A "banana hammock"

for a Speedo.

[Anaxamander]

25. I love this one, used in ads for dick-stiffeners...

Instead of saying it will give you an 8-hour boner or an 8-hour erection, they say it will give you 8 hours of "readiness." LOL!

My respsonse: Now off to find a woman with 8 hours of willingness. <rimshot>

[arwalden]

26. If there's a euphemism for euphemism... then that's my favorite one.

[Bertha Venation]

32. How about this:

For excusing oneself to pee, "Pardon me, I have to go to the euphemism."

[trof]

27. "Comfort Station"

In John B. Foley Park, named for the founder of Foley, Alabama, the rest rooms are labeled "Comfort Station".
...and that's what I like about the south!

[Dogmudgeon]

28. to Discipline the Simian

a.k.a. "to Spank the Monkey".

Fitting for this year.

--bkl

[earthman dave]

29. I gotta go and tap a kidney

Where's Dave? He's in the bathroom with god and ralph.
<raalph> "ohhh god" <raalph>

Also, we had a really awful TV programme here in the UK which was kind of an in-joke with me and my mates, but for some reason, most people understand what you mean when you tell them you have to go for a "Shane Ritchie experience".

"The technicolour yawn" is also nicely evocative.