Should Be a 10th Circle of Hell for Spammers

[Loonman]

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

1. Punishment

There are a trillion nanodemons eating your flesh from the inside (they like nerve endings best). They will vanish if you pronounce the magic word. There's a computer in the room. The magic word will be sent to you via e-mail, but your inbox has a 1 MB limit and you get 100 spams per second, so the message keeps bouncing.

[TXlib]

2. Punishment: To the Pain!

To the pain means the first thing you lose will be your feet, below the ankles, then your hands at the wrists, next your nose.

The next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by your right.

Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why:

So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish -- every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain" means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

3. No genital torture? Wimpy. (nt)

[Rabbit of Caerbannog]

4. ATTN:Sir.Ma

I am barrister Steven James, a solicitor at law. I am the personal
attorney to Mr. RAY MOCK.A national of your country, who works with
Nigeria national petroleum company (N.N.P.C) in Nigeria. Here in after
shall be referred to as my client.

On the 6th of June in the year 2000 my client, his wife and their four
lovely children were involved in a car accident along Ibadan express
road.

All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost their lives including
the driver who drove the car. Since then I have made several enquiries
to your embassy to locate any of my client extended relative/family this
has also prove unsuccefull.

After these several unsuccefull attempts, to locate any member of his
family hence I contact you. You may be wondering while I contact you, I
did so because I am about to disclose to you an utmost confidentiality.

I am contacting you to assist in repatriating the money and property
left behind by my client before they get confiscated or declared
unserviceable by the bank where this huge deposit were lodged.
Particularly, the finance company where the deceased had an account
value at about $10,000.000.00 (Ten million u.s dollar) has issued me a
notice to provide the next of kin or have the account confiscated within
the next 4 months.

Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relative for over THREE
good years now I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of
my client since you have the same last name so that we can achieve the
goal we want to achieve of this account valued at $10,MILDOLLASLION ,
will surely be paid to you, and the sum will be shared between the both
part/partner which is (you and l). 60% to me and 40% to you.

I will send all necessary legal documents that can be used to back up
any claim we may make. All I require of you is your honest co-operation
to enable us conclude this deal.

And this transaction is not for now only but for good friendship and
partnership on more business to come.

I guarantee you that this will be executed under a legitimate
arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.


Contact me immediately you receive this message so that we can discuss
further about this issue.


N.B- I WILL BE EXPECTING YOUR UGENT AND POSITIVE RESPOSE.


BEST REGARD.

BARRISTER STEVE JAMES

[Loonman]

5. I got 4 of those in a row, one day

Called the State Department.

They told me to call Treasury, and they said just delete 'em.

[Rabbit of Caerbannog]

6. THE FIRST ALL-IN-ONE

Male Performance Enhancer AND Penis Enlargement
WITH THE TRADEMARKED SWEDISH INGREDIENT CRETIN-MAKER

ORDER NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[waterman]

7. Note to self: Never ever piss off the first 2 respondants to this thread

[TXlib]

8. My reply was from The Princess Bride.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

9. My reply was an original creation of mine.

I'm a bigger psycho than you are. Nyah nyah nyah! :evilgrin:

[TXlib]

10. Note to self: Never ever piss off JCCyC!