OWWW! My braces freakin' hurt!!, and other tales from the CanuckAmok Files

[CanuckAmok]

That's right, I'm in the home stretch of massive clnical allignment before I move on to the kinder, gentler "invisalign" process: ( which you can see here, and is pretty cool: http://www.invisalign.com/US/index.html ), and it hurts like all get out! The final tooth to be pre-alligned is so far out of whack, it might as well be in someone else's mouth, and it took TWO Certified Orthodontic Technicians to reef on the wire enough to tie it down. I'm surprised one of them didn't put one of her feet on my forehard for leverage! OWWW!! The tooth has seriously moved a quarter inch since 11:00am this morning, and I swear I can hear it move, as it rubs against the teeth beside it. And I'm all out of Advil!

FUCK!

And, as some of you know, Mrs. Amok and I are in the middle of a trial separation. And, although it seems to be civil, who knows what'll happen?

FUCK!

And someone backed into my truck today.

FUCK!

I'm cleaning out my stuff from our Vancouver apartment, and, out of spite for Mrs. Amok, I drank a whole bottle (one of the last two from the case we bought) of a fairly rare Bonny Doon 2001 Cardinal Zin zinfandel. I then, in the drunken stupor which persists as I write this, dropped the other, unopened and earmarked for some very special occasion, bottle on the hardwood, smashing it.

FUCK!


But...out of nowhere, a very kind woman in my Union office called me today and said she had two tickets to the gala opening of the Victoria Film Festival, including the completely comped VIP party, and she couldn't go, so would I like them?

"Hell, yes, I'd like them! Hand 'em over!!"

So, she did, and the even better news is I'm taking a very busty and attractive, newly divorced, woman who's new in town to the gala. The bad news is, she's my new boss!

Damn you, Certified Orthodontic Technicians!
Damn you, Mrs. Amok!
Damn you, careless driver!
Damn you, gravity!
Damn you, awkward sexual tension!

I'll outlive you all, fuckers, and chow down on free prawn rings, suggestive ice sculptures, and beluga caviar in the process!!

Stay tuned for more, from the CanuckAmok Files....


On edit: I just noticed on the Invisalign site, there's an orthodontist named "Dr. Knuckles"! HAHAHAHA! I guess orthodontics is more lucrative than collecting protection money on behalf of the tall-fedora'ed gangster Bugs Bunny hid in that stove...

[dolo amber]

1. Dude...

You are the most fun, ever. :D

[mmm]

2. You had more activity today than some folks have in six months

Keep your eye on the sparrow.
All these problems will be overcome:
You will get over your wife, find someone new, buy more wine and
(eventually) get a new car. PLUS... your teeth will be straight!

[Lostmessage]

3. Your a kid?

You had me fooled.

[CanuckAmok]

4. HUH?!

[Lostmessage]

6. I was joking with you

LOL

[CanuckAmok]

7. perhaps...

...we should chat further about your outfit...

You bring the wine. ;-)

[Lostmessage]

9. What kind of wine honey?

Champagne might be better.

[CanuckAmok]

11. You're on! I have Champagne...and orange juice...

n/t

[Lostmessage]

12. Strawberries & Chocolates?

:evilgrin:

[supernova]

5. There is life after braces and divorce

LOL! It's always darkest before the storm and alla dat. :D

Believe me, if I survived, you can too, CanuckAmok! :thumbsup:

[CanuckAmok]

10. Hey, if I can survive Bosnia AND Somalia, I can survive this!

n/t

[camero]

8. When you release your sexual tension

Look before you leap. You don't want to chip a tooth. :P

[bubblesby2002]

13. My head is spinning

Just read your story, oh my god, what a day. Good vibes are being sent your way. (Hey that rhymes) Tomorrow will be better and the opening of the Film Festival is supposed to be great - especially with a busty woman on your arm.;)

[midnight armadillo]

14. It could be worse

you could be back in your old jalopy :evilgrin: :

[CanuckAmok]

15. Guess what my Friday date drives...

I suppose I should have mentioned that.

[CanuckAmok]

16. day kick

OWW!

[Lars39]

17. The braces.....

I can relate, unfortunately. Felt like they were Pulling the tooth instead of hooking stuff to it. I was ready to dig up my old pain killers from my surgery after that orthodontic visit.

Have you tried an oral cream-goop like you put on toddlers who are teething? They make some pretty strong stuff for adults having tooth problems. Tastes nasty, but it helps in conjunction with pain relievers(that might or not be helping).

Hope things straighten out for you soon. ;)

[bubblesby2002]

18. Oil of cloves might help.

...or a lot of liquor. Could try swishing your mouth with a good single malt. (Later in the day might be better)