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I've has social anxiety, among other problems, for a while now. I moved to town a little over a year ago. Other than work, I have not done much in the community other than the library book discussion that I went to. I decided to do another outside organized activity and particpated in a Scrabble tournament, which was a fundraiser for the county literacy council. Aside from the other partipants, I talked to the women who were literacy council members. They told me about what they did and about how they needed volunteers for their ESL program. They need someone to provide child care for the children of the adult students while their normal volunteer has surgery and recovers. They would also like to have another ESL teacher because right now they only have a beginning and advanced class and would like to add intermediate class(es). Evidently finishing in the middle of the Scrabble tournament, being a college graduate, and being an employee of the the director's friends, who own the company that I work for, makes me very qualified. Going to the tournament by myself in another town and getting through it quite well gave me confidence. I have been making some break throughs in counseling. I have also begun to think that perhaps I can be an assett to others rather than exiling myself from them. I have also thought about the words of Rabbi Hillel "If I am not for myself, who is for me? If I am for my self alone, then what am I? If not now, when?" I think that perhaps now is the time. I want to do this, but social anxiety doesn't just go away.
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