Joke Time

[Speed8098]

Bush Jogging

George Bush was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below.

Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, three kids, who were fishing, pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.

The first kid said: "I sure would like to go to Disneyland." George said: "No problem. I'll take you there on Air Force One."

The second kid said: "I really need a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's." George said: "I'll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!".

The third kid said: "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built-in TV and stereo headset!!" George Bush is a little perplexed by this and says: "But you don't look like you are injured."

The kid says: "But I will be after my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning!"


Bush Leadership Test

While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people.

Bush asks how she knows if they're intelligent.

"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."

Bush watches as the Queen phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"

Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."

"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"

Bush nods: "Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"

Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. Bush summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, "Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."

"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"

Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?"

Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. He immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem.

"Now lookee here, son, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course."

Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush, and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!"

And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, you dumb shit, it's Tony Blair!"

[EstimatedProphet]

1. Good ones!

Here's another one...

Little Johnny was in his 5th grade class when the
teacher asked the children what their fathers did for
a living. All the typical answers came up --- Fireman,
policeman, salesman, etc...

Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the
teacher asked him about his father.

"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and
takes off all his clothes in front of other men.
Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to
the alley with some guy and make love with him for
money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement,
hurriedly set the other children to work on some
coloring, and took Little Johnny aside to ask him, "Is
that really true about your father?"

"No," said Johnny, "He works for the Bush
administration, but I was too embarrassed to say that
in front of the other kids."