Who will be your Father Figure (put your tiny hand in mine...)

[FunBobbyMucha]

Those of you lucky enough to have cool, intelligent, or attentive fathers may find this thread stupid, but for the rest of us, who was your fantasy father figure?

When I was in high school, our drama coach had produced off-Broadway and could pronounce "mature" correctly. I thought he was a God. My own pops be more Homer than Homer.

Then came John Irving. I wanted to be his son like no one else's. Liberal, intellectual, but also physical, and a protective mother bear to boot. Irony is, his own kids probably resent it.

[Mikimouse]

1. Funny thought...

I never had much of a relationship with my father, and at my age didn't really think about it very much. I met a man in 1996 who changed all of my previous self perceptions, and actually thought I was worth something, not only as an academic, but as a person as well. It was quite a revelation to me. He was and is my mentor, even though I no longer study with him, and if I had to choose someone as a surrogate, he would definitely be it. He retired recently after a 45 year career in teaching and research. I hope to someday make the same kind of contribution to society and academia that he did.

[southerngirlwriter]

2. good question.....

....I started off with the children's pastor at church as my fantasy father....I absolutely ADORED him, and he loved me, too....then he left the church abruptly, when I was 9, promised to stay in touch but never answered my letters...I cried myself to sleep for six months....

.....then I moved on for several years to Danny, the dad on "Full House," played by Bob Saget. He loved his kids, and the cleaning thing was a little weird, but he was fair and attentive, and as I grew up in a house that probably should have been condemned, the cleaning thing would have been easy to take....

....then I moved on to a man who attended my church. He was a great friend to me, a real mentor, until the day I turned 16 (and was old enough to legally consent) he started pressuring me for sex. I had NEVER seen it coming, not even a hint of a notion, and I really thought he spent time with me because he loved me, not because he wanted to fuck me, so, this fucked up all my ideas about men for several years....

....then, when I was 19, God actually gave me what I'd been wishing for since I was old enough to wish -- a real father. He loves me just for being me, is interested in and encouraging of my dreams and hopes, has taught me everything I should have learned when I was a kid (why I should avoid credit cards like the plague, how to reset a tripped circuit breaker, how to make a good omelette, how not to get fucked over at the mechanic's, how to balance a checkbook, etc., etc.). He has never touched me, or tried to touch me, except to give me hugs, has never been abusive in the slightest way, and when he moved 90 minutes away, he bent over backwards to make sure we could still see each other a lot. We e-mail daily and call a couple of times a week.

Having a father the last 6 years has been the best thing that's ever happened to me. It's one reason why I've been known to choke male friends who don't make efforts to be part of their kid's lives on a daily or near-daily basis.

Yes, I'm a feminist. But god fucking damn it, kids need their daddies, too.

[VelmaD]

3. I was lucky...

my ideal father...is my Daddy. :-)

I'm 33 and I'm still Daddy's little girl at heart. Sometimes there's nothing that will fix a problem like hugging my dad.

He's got a bizarre sense of humor. He loves me unconditionally. He never missed a single sporting event or concert I played in. He (along with momma) raised me and my little brother exactly the same - no weird sexist crap imposed. He has really high expectations for me but never makes me feel bad when I miss the mark.

He spent huge amounts of "unproductive" quantity time with me. Just sitting. And being together.

He never "let" me win at anything. So when I did finally get good enough to beat him I had this huge sense of accomplishment.

He taught me how to take care of a car. I'm the only person he can do projects with who he'll let them read the instructions.

He's the bestest Daddy ever and I'm thankful for every day I get with him.

Almost exactly one year ago we came close to losing him. Thankfully we didn't and it kicked him in the seat of the pants to get healthier. I don't know what I'd do without him and I don't want to find out.