For those dealing with parent care.

[TNDemo]

I have just cycled out of this but I know some of you are dealing with it. Here is an article you might find helpful:

http://www.kiplinger.com/magazine/archives/2004/02/eldercare.html

[zanana]

1. Good article, but...

They make it sound much too neat and organized. I've been the sole caregiver for my mother (Alzheimer's patient) for six years. Until she lost her ability to walk three months ago, Medicare wouldn't even pay for a grab bar to put near her toilet. They paid NOTHING but her doctor's visits. If she went into the hospital for at least three days, Medicare would pay for visiting nurses for two weeks. Period. After almost six years, they're finally pitching in, because she fell and broke her pelvis. Now, she can't walk, she can't sit, she can't speak, she can't feed herself, etc. Basically, they're providing hospice care. (By the way, I looked into the cost per hour for a home health aide--It's more like $25 dollars an hour.) I guess what I'm saying is, if you're well off, it's alot easier to take care of your aging parents. They ARE alot of services out there--at a price.

[WWW]

2. Hi, I feel for you

I thought I had it bad. Your post brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry for your situation. I am dealing with a similar one. But I finally got my mother into the 'health care circus' after she called the ambulance one too many times behind my back.

Have you told your mother's doctor that you can't handle it alone? I called them crying that I needed help. I am getting Community Health and Counseling support now.

I too thought I could do it alone. And it took its tole. There are no half-hour breaks, no vacations, no downtime. In fact, my anger was actually being mis-directed to DU posts. I think I have made a lot of enemies here because I couldn't control my anger.

You can PM if you want to talk:)

[TNDemo]

3. How well I know.

My mother, her mother and my FIL all developed Alzheimer's simultaneously. Grandmother and FIL had no money but fortunately mother did. There is no way to describe the 24 hour a day constant stress of accusations, getting dressed at 2:00 AM to take off down the street, wiping behinds and walking Walmart at midnight to let them walk off some energy. I also feel extremely sorry for the patient, who must be experiencing horrible anxiety that I can't understand. Probably like when I stopped breastfeeding too quickly and was climbing the walls for a couple of days. Only theirs doesn't go away. As they say, this too shall pass. All of mine have died in the last few years.

I posted the article because someone the other day was taking care of his father long distance and this article gave some links to finding local care. There is a huge difference between taking care of a normally aging parent and an Alzheimer's one.