If the PhD program doesn't work next year, that's it. I'm done.

[Writer]

I'm sorry, but a husband and any (potential) children will not sustain me. No one is reaching to help me, and I have worked so very, very hard in the corporate world, in my writing, in my academics, and in politics. But when nothing works, then what? What do I do with myself?

What other choices do I have?

[SPKrazy]

1. Done?

I hope you mean done trying to get into THAT PhD program and not done...

I say you should apply to more than one PhD program... if that is what you want

hang in there please!

:pals:

[Writer]

2. At 32 and married, my choices are dwindling.

My husband is 34... I wish I could say that I can wait on children, but there comes a time when I'm going to have to put my personal plans on hold for sake of my fertility. If I start my PhD in 2008, I will be 37 or 38 when I'm finished. I'd prefer not to push that back any further.

[SPKrazy]

3. there's always later

i mean you are young writer

people get their PhD's at all ages now

so, don't paint yourself into a corner, options may exist that you wont know about until later (yes my ' key sticks :grr:)

[Writer]

6. And in the meantime, I guess I get to play stay-at-home mommy...

like a good woman! (no, I'm not bitter or anything...)

[SPKrazy]

7. that's up to you

you might even go to school while your kids are young :shrug:

or work?

i don't know

[Writer]

10. There are all these "little issues" that come into play when deciding that...

I suppose I should have kept that bookstore job instead of believing that I could be a paid political lackey. Oh well.

[Orrex]

22. There's no "playing" about it. It's hard and honorable work

There's no shame in choosing to devote your time and energy to a family--do you think I'm a bean-counter in the mutual fund industry because it's been my lifelong dream? Fuck no, but it pays the bills, and it allows House of Kewpie to stay at home with our two boys.

I'm saddened to learn of your difficulties. I got as far as a BA in English and had had enough.

But a lot of people have chimed in with great advice. You're hardly old, and the PhD program will be there later if you choose to return to it.

[mike_c]

19. I was 40 when I got my doctorate....

Started grad school at 34.

But what do you mean "put my personal plans on hold?" Seems to me that your personal plans include having children and your real dilemma has more to do with timing the disparate elements of your plans than anything else.

One piece of advice from a professional academic: don't put all your eggs in one basket if you're really serious about grad studies. You REALLY should apply to multiple programs and be prepared to go where the opportunities are. Most of the students I've seen disappointed about not getting into grad school either didn't have the grades, or they were dead set on getting into one particular program at one particular school. That is simply not a good strategy UNLESS you've got outstanding qualifications and can count on rising to the top of the applicant list. Which changes year to year, so the second piece of unsolicited advice is that if you ARE targeting only one school and don't get in, find out why and keep trying.

[Deja Q]

4. You still have your husband.

Besides, in this world, do you want to add to its population?

Keep reaching out to make your goals a reality.

I'm in the same boat as well. If I haven't learned anything from lame-ass agitprop television deemed brilliant by empty-headed audiences is that we all have our time and then it ends. :shrug:

[Writer]

8. I am working so, so, so hard to make something work!

I love my husband. We have a good life together. But that is not happiness to me. That is boredom and being trapped in a marital cage.

And yes, I will keep reaching out. Trying so damned hard to make as much good with my time as I can!

I'm sorry that you're in the same boat. This boat is a terrible place to be, but at least we're eating. I suppose I should be happy about that, at least. :hug:

[Deja Q]

13. Eating, drinking, being merry...

:party:

Gotta keep trying. And we'll succeed.


:hug:

[Writer]

14. That whole "adding to the population" thing has been hovering in my mind lately.

My husband is a kind, warm man, and it would be sad if we didn't have children, if anything because if we are to reproduce, my husband is the kind of person I'd like to see added to the population.

[rockymountaindem]

15. Could you become a teacher?

Maybe you could teach creative writing to high schoolers or work at a writing workshop. Does that sound like something you might like?

[Writer]

16. Not at all. That is not my area of expertise, actually...

My background is in broadcasting. I'm "Writer" because it's always been my hobby.

I appreciate the suggestion, though. :)

[rockymountaindem]

20. What do you do in broadcasting?

Those late-nite local newscasts always look like they could use some help. I know the ones in my town sure could.

[Writer]

21. Hehe... I used to do ratings research for sales, programming, etc.

Unfortunately those jobs are very difficult to come by within a specific market like, say the Denver market. :) Where I live. :)

[Guava Jelly]

5. My fingers are crossed for you.

:hug:

[Writer]

9. Thanks, friend.

:hug:

[Guava Jelly]

11. ..

Anytime
I hope things happen for you.
You are way to smart and talented for them not to :D

[Writer]

12. Ya know? That's what I keep telling myself.

I wish that my hard work would actually pay off one of these decades.

[Starbucks Anarchist]

17. I wish you luck.

:hug:

[Writer]

18. Thank you.

I just post-poned my GRE until Dec. and will take a preparatory course. My problems do not compare to others' in the lounge, but I could sure use some good juju over here.

:hug: back