Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

Feedback, please! I haven't written a sonnet in many, many years...

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU
 
Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-30-07 12:05 PM
Original message
Feedback, please! I haven't written a sonnet in many, many years...
Between those noble rivers once there stood
The garden wherein woman brought to man
Acquaintance both with evil and with good,
And Eden soon thereafter fell to sand.
Today are met commanders and their chief,
Reporting on the rising, bloody tide;
Each death is tallied in his daily brief,
As yesterday, when three Brazilians died.

The President, a man profound of thought,
Received this news in dignified repose,
Reflecting on the carnage he had wrought,
The many yet to die before its close.
At last he spoke in words by sorrow touched:
"Remind me—a brazillion is how much?"


:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-30-07 12:06 PM
Response to Original message
1. Brilliant!
:loveya:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-30-07 12:25 PM
Response to Reply #1
6. Aw, shucks!
I've been thinking about this for a while, after the limerick and haiku iterations of the Brazillions joke.

This morning it just sort of came to me...
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-30-07 12:09 PM
Response to Original message
2. ah
:spank:


trickster. Pretty impressive!


I'd prefer to see some non-Brazillion joke sonnets, though.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-30-07 12:24 PM
Response to Reply #2
5. Thank you, thank you
Long ago I wrote an embarrassing number of embarrassingly bad sonnets for a woman over whom I was embarrassingly head over heels. Foolish stuff, in retrospect, but that's what one's teens and early 20's are for, right?

Anyway, those wretched versus will not likely see the light of day again!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
quip Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-30-07 12:15 PM
Response to Original message
3. You are indeed the Poet Laureate of the Lounge!
And I genuflect obsequiously in awe.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-30-07 12:25 PM
Response to Reply #3
7. Now, there's no need for that
Three attaboys should be sufficient, but you have to really mean them!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
quip Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-30-07 12:47 PM
Response to Reply #7
10. Should the three boys be bearing Gold, Common Sense, and Fur?
I LOVE malaprops! :bounce:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Inchworm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-30-07 12:16 PM
Response to Original message
4. hehe
nice use of the language :rofl:

:hi:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-30-07 12:26 PM
Response to Reply #4
8. It's good to practice now and again
And if I can cause some Lounge consternation, so much the better!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Dora Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-30-07 12:45 PM
Response to Original message
9. My good, good man.
Excellent meter, solid structure, fantastic rhyme and use of enjambment.

:wow:

Talented people rock.

I shall always hereafter remember Orrex as "that DUer who posted the ass-kicking sonnet about Bush's brazillions."
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-30-07 01:07 PM
Response to Reply #9
11. Very kind
I guess that the whole Brazillions subject just flat-out inspires me.


Here's to the joke that never gets old!
:toast:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DarkTirade Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-30-07 02:32 PM
Response to Original message
12. Well, you're no Shakespear... :)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-30-07 03:18 PM
Response to Reply #12
13. Feh!
Let's see how well the bard handled The Brazillions joke...

Hmm? He didn't?


I thought not. :evilgrin:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
TZ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-30-07 04:36 PM
Response to Original message
14. Okay that actually is kind of clever BUT......
Edited on Fri Nov-30-07 04:39 PM by turtlensue
I just got back from my departmental holiday party and suffice to say after a glass of wine or two and some heavy duty dance floor partying, I am kind of in a very RELAXED state of mind..In fact I think thats the best way to appreciate your "sonnets"..after a few drinks.....Or in the afore mentioned "love sonnets" you wrote...100% proof Rum....and a tequila shot!:D

On edit: the wine has told me I like it well enough to give you a rec....*hick*.......:beer:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-30-07 05:01 PM
Response to Reply #14
15. That sounds like a heck of a department
Suffice it to say that I will burden no one here with those mawkish and sappy sonnets from my darkest youth.

But thanks for checking in!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
TZ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-30-07 05:06 PM
Response to Reply #15
16. btw..want to know a scary sight.?
a couple hundred of slighty buzzed researchers playing "Simon Sayz!".....:rofl: (might have to post pictures....)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-30-07 05:21 PM
Response to Reply #16
17. I hope that no one tapped into the company's stash of Thimerosal
You know what that does to an unruly crowd!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Orsino Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-30-07 06:33 PM
Response to Original message
18. This call-back makes *'s reign pale...
...And your coffin has had its last nail!
See, "brazillion's" the word
That I wish I'd not heard,
And one that should land you in jail.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-01-07 12:32 AM
Response to Reply #18
20. A limerick is high praise, indeed,
and yours such a pleasure to read.
Perhaps I'll keep going;
Its worth it now, knowing
Brazillions are what the Lounge needs!

:hi:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
quip Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-30-07 10:23 PM
Response to Original message
19. A kick for the Bard!
:kick:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Aristus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-01-07 12:52 AM
Response to Original message
21. Best sonnet EV-er!
:rofl:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-01-07 10:47 PM
Response to Original message
22. Forgive a kick for a slight reworking
Between those fabled rivers once there stood
The garden wherein woman brought to man
Acquaintance both with evil and with good,
And Eden soon thereafter fell to sand.
Today are met commanders and their chief,
Reporting on the rising, bloody tide;
Each death is daily tallied in his brief,
As yesterday, when three Brazilians died.

The President, a man profound of thought,
Received this news in dignified repose,
Reflecting on the carnage he has wrought,
The many yet to die before its close.
At last he spoke in words by sorrow touched:
"Remind me—a brazillion is how much?"


Minor changes, but they were bugging me.

Should I post it to GD? How do you think it would be received?

:evilgrin:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Sun Nov 03rd 2024, 07:36 AM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC