Santa Claus is coming to town -- for 34 microseconds

[underpants]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20071203/od_afp/swedenchristmaskyrgyzstansantaoffbeat_071203163428;_ylt=AvQRQAWP7IFQuws_e_haTowFO7gF


STOCKHOLM (AFP) - Christmas is hectic for all but particularly for Santa, who must live in Kyrgyzstan and make his rounds at lightning speed if he is to deliver gifts to all the world's children on time, a Swedish consultancy has concluded.

Between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, Santa Claus's route around the planet includes stops at 2.5 billion homes, assuming that children of all religions receive a present from the jolly man in the red suit, Anders Larsson of the engineering consultancy Sweco told AFP.

"We estimated that there are 48 people per square kilometer (120 per square mile) on Earth, and 20 metres (66 feet) between each home. So if Santa leaves from Kyrgyzstan and travels against the Earth's rotation he has 48 hours to deliver all the presents," he said.

Father Christmas has long been believed to reside at the North Pole, although a number of northern towns, including Finnish Rovaniemi, claim to be his true home.

But Sweco's report on Santa's most efficient route -- which takes into account factors like geographic density and the fewest detours -- shows that he wouldn't be able to make his round-the-world trip from there in time.

[Westegg]

1. Reminds me of an old "Spy" magazine piece...

...which clinically, scientifically dissected the "reality" of Ol' St. Nick's Christmas Eve journey in similar fashion. It went into great detail about everything, including how, given the speed Santa would have to travel, the forward-most reindeer would be burnt to a crisp every few seconds and so he'd need a team of thousands of 'em, for starters. I should see if that's on-line somewhere. Great article!

[DS1]

8. here

http://www.physlink.com/Fun/IsThereSanta.cfm

[MissB]

9. OMFG

Thank you :rofl:

[flvegan]

2. Mandatory steroid testing for all his reindeer.

Stop the cheating!

[AllegroRondo]

3. But he only brings toys to good children, which really cuts down the workload.

he must visit only a couple dozen houses, tops.

[Dukkha]

4. and he shafts all the poorest kids too

despite the song's claim "It doesn't matter if you're rich or poor"

[Bucky]

5. That's a damned lie! You Santa haters and your fuzzy math obviously support the terrorists

or something.

[Initech]

6. At least it's not the Futurama Santa!

:yoiks:

[guitar man]

7. yeah, but some stops are longer than others

Because Santa knows where all the naughty girls are! :evilgrin:

[Orsino]

10. Don't forget all the pre-born citizens he has to visit.

This may include twinkles in eyes at the start of his 48-hour run. If he overlooks these, he risks a total cut-off of American aid.

Of course, because of Original Sin, these children all get coal, which is subsidized by the DOE.