Is it possible to remove AOL from a computer without disrupting the time-space continuum?

[Oeditpus Rex]

I haven't used AOL for a couple of years, though about once a week I back up a truck to it and clean out the spam. No big deal, really — except for the last several days, this message has been popping up every 15 minutes:

The following update is ready to install.

Security Update - Critical: AOL has identified a security vulnerability that can be used to execute malicious code. To correct, install this update. You may need to shut down applications and restart your computer. Click here for details.

Okay, so I've shrugged a couple of times and clicked "Install now," and the installation starts — and fails, without explanation. And I keep getting the pop-up every 15 minutes.

AOL is such an utterly worthless, space-hogging, steaming mass of digital feces that I just want it off my computer — but I've heard so many times that you can't completely uninstall it, and attempting to do so may actually cause harm. (Yeah, I know — but it's kinda like "Homeland Security is monitoring your phone conversations" — not bloody likely, but I do believe it's possible.)

So, geeks, I implore you — what is the secret of ridding one's computer of the scourge that is America Online?

[DarkTirade]

1. You can't uninstall evil.

[grasswire]

2. awwwwwwwww

We had such good times on AOL.

[Oeditpus Rex]

4. That we did

(tink) :hi:



But I've outgrown it, as has technology.

[skygazer]

3. I think you have to destroy the computer

by pounding it into very small pieces with a sledgehammer or other appropriate instrument. Even then, the infestation lingers.

I don't know. I had AOL on an old computer, I purged it from the programs, I tried everything to completely rid myself of it and my browser still had a little icon that said, "powered by AOL." :scared:

It was only when the hard drive finally died with a snap and a puff of smoke that I was rid of it.

[Oeditpus Rex]

5. Yeah, y'know

I swear I could shove my computer into a wood chipper and then shoot the chips into space, and this fucker would still be hiding under my bed.





:grr:

[NewJeffCT]

9. Not only destroy the computer

You then have to dump it into the cracks of Mt. Doom.

[hisownpetard]

6. Trying to remove AOL from your hard drive is like trying to deny that you were ever

a virgin.

Give it up, Oedward. Not gonna happen.

[Oeditpus Rex]

7. Oedward...?

:wtf:









Oeduard, maybe... or Oeduardo...

[hisownpetard]

13. Hey! Now you're even eoditing things that other people think up? What nerve!!

[OhioChick]

8. Yeah.....

Good luck with that! :rofl:

[gmoney]

10. Uh, that might be a fake message...

Just a long shot, but could be a "trojan horse" that is instructing you to run the "updater" when it's actually installing spyware or malware or whatever the flavor of the month might be.

I'd consider checking with AOL "tech support" (an oxymoron, I know) and see if it's a legitimate error.

[Oeditpus Rex]

12. I've considered that

But I can't check AOL's non-existent tech support, since I'm not an AOL subscriber; I switched a long time ago to the "BYO ISP" plan.

The link in the "alert" looks legit, though. 'Course, shit like that's pretty easy to copy.

And, as if on cue, the "alert" just popped up again. Here's the link: http://help.aol.com/help/dynamickc.do?externalId=http--helpchannelsaolcom-kjumpadparticleId223169&sliceId=&command=show&forward=nonthreadedKC&kcId=http--helpchannelsaolcom-kjumpadparticleId223169

It tells you absolutely nothing, which is very AOL-like.

[Withywindle]

11. My mom told me my dad once threw a new $400 computer in the trash

because he was so frustrated he couldn't get rid of AOL. (She fished it out) At first I got scared that he was starting to lose it but then I realized, no, that's a perfectly rational response.

[baldguy]

14. Only one solution.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aLcESaoo7o

AOL is pure, concentrated evil.

[Maestro]

15. Okay, a couple things that may seem obvious:

Go to Control Panel/Add Remove Software. Here try to make sure there is nothing left on your computer from AOL. If you find something, uninstall the P.O.S. Now, I bet what is happening is that you have uninstalled everything but AOL still left its messy prints in your registry. Go to your Start/Run option. In the small window, type: regedit.

This is where you need to be careful. Screwing up the Registry is bad news for computers. However, in this section you can do a search with anything that has AOL tagged to it. Go to Edit/Find. Type in America Online and run a search. If something comes up, delete it. Type AOL. If something comes up, delete it. Do this unitl satisfied. If you are unsure what something is, don't delete it.

You can also try purchasing this nifty program that I like, Registry Mechanic You can also try to find a registry cleaner online that is free. There are many around. I bet this might be part of the problem.